Author: Elena

I was born and raised in the Bay Area. Growing up, I went to Berkeley public schools up until I left California to attend McDaniel College, located in Westminster, MD. I graduated from McDaniel College with a B.A. in Theatre Arts with a focus in Acting.

Seasons of Giving

It is that times of the year… Thanksgiving has already passed and Christmas is right around the corner. In fact, Christmas is tomorrow. Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays growing up and it is still is to this very day. I love waking up early and seeing the presents under the Christmas tree. I feel like one thing has changed, especially as I have gotten older. I still enjoying getting presents and I love giving them away, but I feel like those are so materialistic these days. Like  the newest iPhone or computer or something like that. This quote says it the best. “I think as you grow older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want cannot be bought.” I guess what I am saying is that the littlest of things is what matters like being in someone’s presence or getting a gift that actually matters and is low cost. I feel like one of the best things you can give someone else, especially around the holidays is your time, love and presence.

In other words, I think a great gift is one that keeps on giving or paying it forward. There is a movie about that.  Best of all those kinds of gifts come free or at least they should. I think that is why I want to try to volunteer my time or things I do not need anymore because if I do not need it then maybe someone else might. I have to remind myself that there are people who are less fortunate than me. I wish I could give more because I always believe in helping others. It is in our best nature to help others. That is why I hate how much this world has become the cars, houses, iPhones, jewelry and things we buy with our money. It is such a shame and I hope we can change that now, not only for our generation, but for the ones to follow.

So I guess what I am trying to say is best said in the following quote by Pierre Corneille. He says “The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.” So what he and I are trying to say is that the fact that we are giving is more important than the gift itself because that is what the holidays are all about. Even donating to charity, whether it is a dollar or donating school supplies or scarves and hats to the homeless shelters goes a long way. Those are just some examples, but I am sure there are some other ways in which to give a meaningful gift. Even donating your talents to a good cause can be a way of giving. I want to encourage my readers to think of some way they can give back to something or someone they really care about. That is something we all cherish. Happy holidays everyone!!

My Free Gifts

I could buy you all of the materialistic things that
Do not matter or get you a lifetime of laughter.
I can be your solider who can fight and combat
Next to you. I can give you what comes after.
I can be a light that shines within the darkness
Like a precious jewel that you cannot buy with
Money. I will stand with you in the starkness.
I can give you something that only a wordsmith
Can give you. Those are the things that do not cost
Anything because they already come free with me.
Darling, I know that when you are completely lost,
I will be the home and peace you come to. I would be
Everything you cannot find in something else. I am
The gift that keeps on giving to those that realize
That life is far from fake and becoming a sham.
There is something about me that makes me a prize.

People Who Did Us Wrong

I just want to talk about something, especially after doing another competition on DUP. Like I have said before, there are people we come across. Some people treated us right, but there are people who have been a part of our lives and have treated us horribly aka they did us wrong. It does not matter if they are an ex, a former friend, or someone in our family. I know that we should all behave proper, but in this moment it is okay to bash them, just a little bit and not too much because they are still only human after all. Even if they did you wrong you still have to be a better person while forgiving them and then just moving on. Dwelling on something takes too much energy. Some things you can fix and other times you cannot. This quote says it the best. “Hating is for the weak, loving is for the strong. It takes more to love someone who did you wrong than it does to hate them.” So no, I do not hate anybody, but I forgive and say thank you because I would not be where I am today without them. This is a short post, as all of it is pretty simple. I want to conclude by strongly encouraging my readers to dig deep down and forgive those who did us wrong. Cheers and happy reading! Just a side note that this is directed towards an ex, but can be applied to anyone else who did us wrong. I decided to go with two poems. The second one actually won me a competition on DUP.

Did Me Wrong

My first love… why did you have go ahead and break my heart?
You took it all and tore everything into pieces. Everything was sore
And hurting so much. You knew that everything was falling apart,
But you did nothing, except taking back your promises, your
Words and actions. I was left feeling empty and with a gaping
Hole, but I had to replace you. I could not let the sadness
Wash over me while all of the anger was slowly escaping
From my body. I should have every right to be in the madness
And be pissed off. I am sorry and all the other apologies will
Not be enough. I could have burned everything, but be glad
I am not that kind of ex that is psychotic and crazy. The thrill
And chase of that teenage love is done. We could be friends
Is bullshit. We were down different roads and ends.

 

Everything That is You

I hate you and everything that you truly are.
I once thought that you were the shining star,
But I was a fool because you became a meteorite,
Having everything around me burn red and white.
You said that you loved me, but I was just a pawn
And soldier in your game. Even before the dawn
Came I knew that things could never be the same.
Deep down rooted within me there is pain, shame
And fiery anger. If only you could understand it all,
But you are too selfish to care. I was your rag doll,
Only being pushed around and trying to please you,
But nothing could make you completely happy. To
You I am just another person you can throw away.
But I cannot let you treat me that badly. I still pray
To forgive you because I know that nobody could
Ever truly ever be that bad intentionally. The good
Parts of you are there even if you cannot see them.
I have become sturdy like a flower and its stem.

Natural Beauty

I feel like we live in a world where there is too much people being fake and plastic, as in plastic surgery. We see too many celebrities getting bigger boobs, butts, facelifts and other kinds of surgery. We want to be beautiful I get that, but natural beauty is so much better. Women want to cake on makeup, get their hair straightened and do all sorts of things to make them beautiful, but they are naturally beautiful is what I am saying. This quote says it in a great way. “Natural beauty is the best beauty.” It is simply put. If others cannot come to appreciate us when we are in our natural state like having naturally curly hair or wearing glasses or wearing sweats or having no makeup on then they do not deserve us when we are the opposite. Those people clearly do not know what natural beauty may look or feel like. Those are the people we should not be around.

A lot of the time when someone thinks of beauty they might think of the physical part of beauty, but there is a mental part to it. In other words, it is not just about the physical beauty, but also about what is inside that makes a person naturally beautiful. I think it has to do with personality as well as being real and being yourself. You should never try to pretend to be someone you are not. I think it also has to do with the fact that you should believe that you are beautiful. In other words, if you believe that you are beautiful then others are going to think that too. People will love you for being yourself and for what is on the inside. There is so much more I can say about this, but I think I will leave it at that.

Natural Beauty: Letter to Myself

Green eyes and a smile that shines.
Dark brown hair that falls in curls.
Wrinkles, frowns, and worry lines
Of yesterday are forgotten. Pearls
Of beauty sparkle. Forget about
The stretch marks and every scar
Across your flawless skin. No doubt
That you are the brightest star
Out there in a fake world. Your
Natural body and face should not
Be envious at all. Do not start a war
You know is pointless. They forgot
You because they thought you were
Just one of the several “pretty”
Girls out there when you are the blur
That passes by. You are that city,
Country and beach girl all rolled
Into one. Someone who is really
Unforgettable like a diamond or gold.
Just a simple girl with nothing frilly.

Showing Grace

I know that I have talked about forgiveness in one of my previous posts, but you may have to go back a while ago to find it. I am going to talk about something very similar, but is kind of different at the same time and that is grace. On the first and third Sunday of every month I work at the Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Church in Alameda, CA where I help with child care services. We tell stories right before we go to our classroom. This one focused on grace. There was a girl who went to the beach with her dad. Her dad gave her money to go get ice cream. On her way back she fell and dropped the ice cream on the pavement. She went back to her dad and her dad said to go get another one. She did not have any money, but her dad said to ask for another one. She went up and explained to the woman that she dropped her cone, could she get another one. The woman gave her another one.

The moral of the story is explained in this quote I found as well. “There is nothing more classy or powerful than showing forgiveness and grace to someone who does not deserve it.” So for example, like in the story the girl received grace although she did not deserve it. The moral is not only to give grace, but to also receive and accept as well, especially in today’s world. In other words, we have to make room for grace in our hearts because we need it. There is too much cruelness in this world, so we need to be accepting, especially of people’s mistakes and imperfections. I feel like grace, especially receiving as well as giving it, is what makes the world go round. I feel like there would a lot more anger and misunderstanding if there was not any grace at all. When people think of grace, they automatically associate it with religion, especially Christianity, but you do not have to be religious to believe in grace. I just wanted to point that out, especially since I am a non religious person myself.

The whole point of this post is to tell people to open up their hearts. I encourage everybody to do that and to forgive, as hard as it may be, especially if they really hurt you. I want everyone to give grace, as well as receiving it with open arms. Isn’t that what we want to teach the next generation? They look up to us and the best thing we can do is to teach them to do the same. I am posting this right around Thanksgiving because it is that time of year to think about grace, although we can do so much more of it year round. There are many definitions of grace when you look it up in the dictionary. This is one that stood out to me. “The exercise of love, kindness, compassion, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another.” We should show grace because it is our duty as human beings to do so. There is so much more to say about grace, but all that I have talked about sums it up. I just want to leave you all with one more quote. “Grace changes everything.” I think this quote shows how important grace is. I will leave it at that. Here is a poem to enjoy by yours truly. Enjoy and happy Thanksgiving in advance.

Everlasting Grace

Darling, I always want to live with grace
And forgiveness in my heart even when
The apology is not given. I am in a place
To be living and starting all over again.
Darling, I have been in a place of being
Able to accept everyone’s past mistakes.
I am no longer running away or fleeing
From the pain and hurt. Someone flakes
Out on you or will make you really mad,
And you make the best out of it, no matter
What happens in life. Nobody can be a bad
Person willfully. We have all made a splatter
And a mess out of things in our highly flawed
Ways. You keep your grace from going numb.
You have always broke, fought and clawed
Your way through life, so do not let some
Messed up situations take you back to where
You were before, another place of being
Unwilling to ever accept the idea of
Forgiveness. However, you are now seeing
Things differently, including grace and love.

Namesake

Every name has an importance or meaning. My name, for example is Elena Waller. My first name Elena comes from Helen, a cousin of my dad’s who died before I was born. For people who do not know already, it is a tradition in the Jewish community to name your kids after someone who passes away. My brother’s name, Mikael, comes from my grandfather’s (on my dad’s side) Yiddish name and my sister’s name comes from my grandmother’s (also on my dad’s side) name of Florence. I should mention that my last name came from my mom’s side of the family. On both sides we have strong women.

The reason why I am bringing this up is because my dad and I recently met with Helen’s son a while ago. They were both telling family stories including about Helen. I was thinking to myself and I also asked my dad about this…”Am I living up to my namesake, Helen?” I have heard all of these stories about her over the years. There must have been some reason why I was named after her. As it turns out, I may have at least one thing in common with her. We both love working with children. She was a child’s psychiatrist and Henry (Helen’s son) was telling this story of his mom always being the children’s magnet. She would take any children who were crying and would find some way to make them stop crying just like that. I must say that she is a strong woman because she put herself back through school, especially as an older woman. So to answer my question, I would say without a doubt, absolutely yes!

Anyways, I know that I have talked a lot about the importance of names. I know mine has a lot of meaning and I am sure that others do too. I just want to take this time to acknowledge those who came before us. I am taking the time to do that because it is that time of year when we celebrate Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos in Spanish, which celebrates those who came before us. It especially honors those who have already died. We honor their memory by creating an alter with pictures and mementos. I am concluding with a quote by one of my heroes, Michelle Obama who says the following. “We’ve got a responsibility to live up to the legacy of those who came before us by doing all that we can to help those who come after us.” That ties this post all together because it is about the previous generation, this generation and the next one to follow. That is how we live up to a legacy and the people we are named after. It is a lot of responsibility, but I know that we can do it. I am wishing everyone a happy Halloween and Day of the Dead (let me know what the proper way to say this in the future).

Praise to Helen of Troy and the Name of Helen

“…the face that launch’d a thousand ships…”
– From Doctor Faustus, by Christopher Marlow

What do we know about Helen?
We know that while married to another,
She was desired by Paris. The Trojan prince.

Her rare and perfect beauty. Like a flower,
Which blooms on a rainy day.
Daughter of Zeus, ruler of all
Gods and goddesses.

Helen. A name that launched a war
Lasting 10 gruesome years.
When her husband raised an army
To reclaim what he had lost,
All for this one woman.

Her name is still among us
Although it takes on different forms.
The root, Helen
Coming from the Greek Helenē
Often meaning
“Light”, “torch,” or “bright.”

I share her name, Elena. One of those
Amid the list of so many others–
Ellen, Elaine, Alana, Yelena, Helen, Eleanor.
We are all the “bright ones,”
The one worth fighting for.

When Natural Disasters Strike

I know that I have talked about storms in one of my posts from last year, but nevertheless I am going to talk about something far beyond that…natural disasters. We have all dealt with natural disasters at some point in our lives whether it is an earthquake, a hurricane, a fire or something along those lines. When these types of disasters tend to strike, I know a lot of us tend to panic, but what is amazing is that we all come together, whether it is to help or just be there for each other. Nevertheless, we should be coming together anyways as a nation.

I know that it is nothing to joke about, but about a month after I was born was when the big fire in ’91 happened in Northern California and about a month after my brother was born is when the big earthquake in ’89 happened. It is not something I want our family continue on with when the next generation has kids. I am bringing you to my point which is that there was wildfires in Northern California this month in October. Everyone came together to help fight it, whether it was being one of the first responders, the people who came afterwards and everyone else who spent their time helping. Daryn Kagan says the following about those kind of people. “Bad things do happen in the world, like war, natural disasters, disease. But out of those situations always arise stories of ordinary people doing extraordinary things.” I honestly do not think that it should take having a natural disaster to help people because people should be helping other people anyways.

Let me move on further into my point is that when natural disasters strike, it should be a wake up call to us because as humans it is our responsibility to take care of this earth. After all, we live on this earth and we are its caretakers. That leads me into one of my quotes right here by Lora A.R. who says “Natural disasters are a wake up call to humanity that they should stop fucking with the earth!” So yeah, it should definitely be a wake up call to us and to stop messing with this earth because we may not have it for much longer. I cannot help but think of a song Pink and Kenny Chesney did together called “Setting the World On Fire.” Some of the lyrics go like this. “We were strikin’ the matches right down to the ashes/Setting the world on fire, setting the world on fire.” In honor of the wildfires that happened in Northern California, I wrote this poem, which also includes an image to go along with it. Enjoy!!

Catching On Fire

The sunlight shines orange like it is caught in flames
And embers that glow. Maybe this is the end of
The world as we know it. Mother Nature’s claims
And hold on us is strong. She will push and shove
Us to fight against it because isn’t that what we do?
Fight and defend this world that is ours? We cannot
Our earth be taken away. We are sitting on every pew
Praying to the gods and to never give up. We caught
The world in an apocalypse, but we cannot stay there.
We cannot let Mother Nature punish us for making
Mistakes and committing sin. We should always swear
And promise to protect our lush nature. We are waking
Up those who have slept their lives away in a deep
Slumber. We are protectors of every piece and bit
Of rich soil that our roots grow in. We try to keep
Our world away from all that tries to harm it.

Muse and Inspiration

One of the definitions that pops up in the dictionary for the word muse states that it is “a source of inspiration; especially :a guiding genius” (source: Merriam-Webster Dictionary).  So you now know what I am going to be talking about. Muses and inspiration, which is also something that can also motivate you too. What is your muse? What is your inspiration? Those are only a couple of the many questions people ask me, especially when they learn that I write and I have more than one answer for those questions. Sometimes I might say it would everyday life. I might say that a certain situation or place. Sometimes it could be something that could have happened in the past. The list can go on and on. Sometimes my inspiration and muse can take shape. Furthermore, it can turn into a person or vice versa where the person shapes into inspiration. However you want to view that… go ahead. I am sure that everybody has someone or something that inspires them and is a muse. Being a muse dates back years and years. How do you think artists create what they create? There must have been someone to inspire Leonardo da Vinci to paint the Mona Lisa. Without a muse or inspiration there would be no art or music or anything else in this world that we view as art.

This is my opinion, but it feels like there are two different types of people in this world. This quote says it the best. “You’re either the Artist or the Muse. Each comes with its own set of complications; each with its own unwavering power.” There are artists and there are muses. Each one of these people comes with a power. For the artist, it is creating art and for the muse it is being the inspiration/motivation. Like I have said before a muse does not necessarily have to be another person. It could be an object or a major life event. In fact, it could be yourself. One of my favorite artists Friday Kahlo says it the best. “I am my own muse, I am the subject I know best. The subject I want to know better.” I do not know about other people who write or are other versions of artists, but sometimes a muse/inspiration can help my pieces improve drastically. It is because of that I want to take this moment to say thank you to those people, as well as situations and with everything else that been a part of my inspiration. This is for you, although we can also change it.

Muse as a Person

Time stood still when we are face to face.
It is not so much what you look like, but who
You are as a person. I want to continue to trace
Across your chest so I remember it is always you
Who inspires me. You are my muse and my one
True reality. You always feel like the starkness
When all I want is nothing more than to run
Far away from the shadows and the darkness.
You always lift me up and you motivate me
To be a better person. You push me hard
To follow my dreams and aspirations. You see
That I would do the same for you. As scarred
As we might be, we are invincible. The dark
Corners of my mind and the doubts that are
Floating around turn into a beautiful lark,
Flying. Darling, their raw beauty does not mar
Or become ugly like weeds. You somehow
Have that power to turn the wordsmith
Part of me into a songstress and plough
Through the bad days. Your love is no myth

Hindsight and Do Not Look Back

I have been blessed to be a part of this online community called Deep Underground Poetry. It is an online community of poets and writers. You can post your work and get critique. They also host competitions. One of these competitions was for visual poetry and the theme was hindsight. The contest description was “Think back to a difficult time in your life. What would you say to yourself? Or what do you wish someone had said to you at the time.” One of the things I talked about within my piece is to not look back. I remember a post about leaving the past in the past or letting go of the past. That is more or less what I am talking about but the metaphor I would like to use in this case is the rearview mirror. I remember when I posted that piece on DUP and one of my comments on that was “That’s why the windshield is always bigger than the rearview or side mirrors.” I thought to myself that is so true. So one of my metaphors has become to not look back and to stop looking in the rearview mirror because we are not going that way.

I am not saying that we do not learn anything from the past or anything like that because we still do, but we cannot continue to look back when there is so much ahead of this. That is especially important when we go through our difficult times. It is why I never like focusing on the past. It keeps us distracted from where we are going and that is what in part this quote says. “Even thought there are days I wish I could change some things in the past, there’s a reason the rear view mirror is so small and the windshield is so big, where you’re headed is much more important than what you’ve left behind.” That quote is so true because although we want to go back and change things we should not. They are a part of our journey and mistakes give us lessons learned. There will be a post about lessons and mistakes some other time, but the lesson if we were to talk them right here is to essentially look forward instead of backwards. That is what I would highly recommend to my readers as well.

I hope that all of my readers can take this advice and find a way to move forward with their lives. If we are so busy looking backwards and into the rearview mirror then we cannot see what is ahead of us. There is this quote that I love by C.S. Lewis. He says “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” In other words, we look ahead because there might be better things there than what we leave behind. That is why we try to forget the past as much as we can, especially the painful parts. I know that I keep talking about the past, but I keep talking about it because of its importance. I am doing something a little different here and including one of my visual poems, which pretty much text over an image. The photo was taken on a drive my roommate I decided to go on when we needed a break from studying. I hope everybody enjoys something slightly different from me this time. Cheers!!

Let It All Out

There are days when we are feeling so much on the inside that we need to let it out. I know that because I have those days too. If we keep things in for too long, they will become what we call “bottled up” emotions and feelings. Keeping things bottled up is not always healthy. That is why something like kickboxing or maybe screaming into your pillow or writing in a journal or diary or having a good cry is a good thing. There is one thing that I do that helps and that is to keep a notebook. This quote explains why. “Buy a notebook. Write down what you want. Write about what hurts you. Show it to someone you love. Save it for your children. Burn it in your back yard. Either way, go to bed knowing that in some way, those things are out of you.” There are productive ways of letting things out like I mentioned above and there are unproductive ways of letting things out. I am not saying that there is any right way to let things out, but there are ways to let things out that do not help anybody, including yourself. Things like punching a wall or getting in trouble with the law or physically hurting yourself or others does not help at all. If you feel like you need to do those things do something else to keep your mind off it or seek help from professionals and/or family members and/or friends. Something as simple as talking things out also helps.

However, there are also things that should not be let out. That brings me to this quote. Nick Burd says “Let it all out. If only I could. Letting it all out would involve me exploding like a firework, a beautiful riot of rainbow sparks bouncing around the car and lighting up the entire lot.” So like I said there are some things that should and should not be let out. It is just how things work. This is one of my shorter posts, not because it is not important but because that concludes all that needs to be said about this subject matter. I strongly encourage my readers to let it all out in a productive way. That leads me to the last quote of this post. “If you don’t let it out, you’re going to let it eat you away.” So let it out because otherwise it will all just sit and fester into something much worse later down the road. On that note, I hope that you all enjoyed this one. Happy reading!!

Let It All Out

I cannot live in a lifetime of sin and
Disappointment. I just simply want to
Hang off the ledge. I take my hand
And want to ram it into the wall. If you
Look at me like I am psycho or crazy
I do not really care because I am tired
Of being the sane one. I want the hazy
Fog to disappear. I want to get fired
Up and scream it all out until I collapse.
I want to cry until there are no more
Tears left. Maybe then the gaps
And hiccups will be gone. The door
Remains where it is. All I have to is
Step through its frame and be done.
For once I just want things to fizz
And fade out. I know that I still won.

Making Choices and Decisions

There is a point in our lives where we have to make choices and decisions, especially really difficult ones. I do not know about my readers, but I am one of those people who can be indecisive, especially when they are put on the spot with questions like “What do you want to eat?” or “Where do you want to go?” Questions like those are hard for me, especially if someone else is asking me. I even just have a hard time making decisions or choices on my own. I know those seem like trivial questions, especially when there are way more difficult choices or decision to make. Sometimes choices and decisions have to be made about people as well. Questions like “Do I want this person to continue to be a part of my life?” or “Should I just walk away?” Those are harder choices to make. Every day there is a choice or decision to be made. We have to do our best to stick with them, no matter how hard or difficult they are. We all know the answers deep within and that voice is something you should listen to. We have all made choices or decisions about the people we want to be, who we want to surround ourselves with, what we want to do for work and for “romantic” relationships/partners. I am going to put a quote right here, which my friend BreAnna has shared too as she had to make a hard decision about leaving her job. “Decisions are the hardest thing to make, especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.” That is part of the reason why they are so hard, especially if it is something you have always wanted to or who you always wanted to end up with, etc.

Some people may ask “What should I do when I have to make a hard choice or decision?” There is simply no right or wrong answer to this because every person or situation varies. Sometimes it is easier to ask someone else for help, but sometimes we want to be a grown up and figure it out for ourselves. I know this seems pretty basic, but sometimes you flip a coin. This quote explains why. “When you need to make a hard decision, flip a coin. Why? Because when that coin is in the air you suddenly know what you’re hoping for.” So flipping a coin is not necessarily to make the decision or choice, but you will know the answer when it is up in the air. I also think that there is a 50/50 chance of something happening, hence the coin. I think the very reason why people do not want to make choices or decisions is because sometimes we want others to make them for us. It just happens that way because we like some control, but not always a lot if that makes sense.

Sometimes it feels like we will make a bad decision or choice no matter what we do. Like I said before we have to make a choice or decision and stick with it. That brings me too my next quote by Doe Zantamata, who is another one of my heroes. She says. “Decisions. We can think about things, turn them over in our minds a million times, play out possible scenarios, but really when it comes down to it, you have to go with your heart and move forward. Maybe things will go well. Maybe they’ll turn out poorly. Every decision brings with it some good, some bad, some lessons, and some luck. The only thing that’s for sure is that indecision steals many years from many people who wind up wishing they’d just had the courage to leap.” Maybe deep down that is what is so hard about making decisions because like I have said before it feels like we make a wrong decision or choice, but it is better to make one and stick with it rather that just not making any choices or decisions whatsoever. In other words it is better trying and making mistakes rather than not trying at all. That is just the way life goes.

Here is to all my readers as you all make decisions and choices. I am right there with you and I know how hard it is. Happy reading. P.S. When I posted this poem on DUP, I got some of the best advice. That is and I quote “My Father used to say, ‘When in doubt, wait.’ Sometimes waiting is the next thing to do.” I have to agree with that advice. That goes for any situation. Wait it out because sometimes you do not want to make a choice or decision based what you feel in the moment. You have to make your choices and decisions because it is your life. That is a part of being an adult and being happy. It is all about making decisions and sticking with them. You should love your decisions and choices. So I am going to conclude this post with another quote. “The more you love your decisions, the less you need others to love them.” So in other words, go ahead and make those decisions while being happy about them, then you do not need other people’s approval. Like I said, I am right here for you as you make these sometimes life-altering decisions and choices.

Coming to a Decision

It feels like I will make a wrong decision no matter
What I do. I turn one way and it is my future staring
Me right in the face. When I turn to see the splatter
Of tears, rain and a brewing storm tearing
Across the sky the other way, I am caught right in
The middle. For once I do not know what to do
Or maybe I do know in my heart and under my skin
That I have to make some kind of choice. It is you
Or without you because there is no in between
When you have a spot, but I cannot let you stop
Me from moving on. Life is always a moving screen
And door. Darling, I wish that I could drop
Everything now, but something is keeping me
In place. Maybe it is because we have tried for far
Too long or maybe there is still some hope I see
For a future. I wish I could look to the North Star
So it can point me in the right direction, but
It is all left up to me. Everything might just blow
Up. I hate being stuck in this situation and rut
When I simply do not know where to go
When it comes down to you. I need to find
A solid answer, but something may get left behind.