Author: Elena

I was born and raised in the Bay Area. Growing up, I went to Berkeley public schools up until I left California to attend McDaniel College, located in Westminster, MD. I graduated from McDaniel College with a B.A. in Theatre Arts with a focus in Acting.

Healing

You know the saying “time heals all wounds?” Sometimes I wonder where that expression comes from, but let’s not worry about that too much. Sometimes time does heal all wounds, sometimes it heals some wounds and sometimes it does not heal any wounds. It just works out that way for whatever reason. Let us not worry about time that heals wounds because there are other things that heal wounds and scars. For me that would be words, music, writing, reading and poetry all together. For other people they find other ways to heal including therapy, being busy, etc.

There is this quote I found that rings so true for the healing process. “Everything heals. Your body heals. Your heart heals. The mind heals. Wounds heal. Your soul repairs itself. Your happiness is always going to come back. Bad times don’t last.” In other words, we all have something that needs healing, whether it is mentally or physically or emotionally or any other versions of healing you can imagine or think of. That quote is pretty much saying that almost everything can and will heal over a period of time or however long it takes. I want to point that out because everybody’s healing process is different. For some people it can only take days and for other people it could take weeks, months and sometimes even years to heal fully.

As I have said before and as that quote points out even your happiness will find a way to come back. Happiness has a way of healing as well just like almost everything else. Healing is a process and is something that takes time. It is something that you have to work on every single day, no matter what. Leon Brown says that “Healing is not an overnight process. It is a daily cleansing of pain, it is a daily healing of your life.” That goes for healing when you are in recovery from whatever issues you might have. As I have said before it takes time to heal. It also takes patience and trust because you cannot rush the process. Healing is one of the hardest things to do and is not that easy for the most part. Just stick with it and you may turn out to see something beautiful in the end. Just hang in there. Cheers!! Here is a poem to celebrate the healing process.

Healing

The words heal the heartache.
It erases the everlasting pain.
There is never any mistake

In the feelings. The words stain
The pages like blood and ink.
The flow replaces the rain

And tears. Everything I think
Hard about come alive in
The rhythm. I no longer sink

And relive every bad sin.
I am floating in the clouds.
I feel alive in my own skin.

Get me away from the crowds
And into my own quiet space.
Let the words become shrouds

And shields of armor. Trace
Over your story with your pen.
Let the gentleness and lace

Like pattern tell you when
To open up your heart. You
Will be able to fully heal again.

Insecurities and Doubts

It is something that comes up a whole lot, whether we realize it or not. That would be insecurities and doubts. Maybe I was inspired by one of Beyoncé’s songs “Pretty Hurts” where she sings about “Pretty hurts/Shine the light on whatever’s worse/Perfection is the disease of a nation/Pretty hurts/Shine the light on whatever’s worse/Tryna fix something/But you can’t fix what you can’t see/It’s the soul that needs the surgery..” Girls and young woman are always taught that you need to be pretty because nothing else should matter. I am not taking away from the fact that boys do not have insecurities, but when you open a magazine who do you see? Female models, most of whom are skinny and thin. Sure, people tell you to also embrace your curves.

I am tired of hearing that girls should be pretty like a barbie dolls with the perfect hair, the right clothes and makeup. Girls and boys are getting different messages. It should be okay for females to be tomboys and for guys to feel like they should not “masculine.” In some of the lyrics of Colbie Caillat’s “Try” she sings “You don’t have to try so hard/You don’t have to, give it all away/You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up/You don’t have to change a single thing/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try/You don’t have to try…” Remember when I talked about being yourself? Well, it applies here too. Sometimes we try so hard to be someone else when we should be ourselves. Stop listening to those who think you are not pretty or beautiful or smart or dumb enough. In other words, stop paying attention to society. They, for the most part do not know what they are talking about.

Insecurities are all in your head because you create them based on what you hear. They are those voices in our head that are quiet but are loud enough for us to listen to. Here is a quote which says “Confidence is loud. Insecurities are loud.” In other words, try to have more confidence while trying to not have insecurity. I know that it is hard. Shut it up, whatever it takes because you should believe that you are simply good enough. Heck, you should surround yourself with people who think you are good enough as well. Insecurities for the most part are a part the negativity you should ignore and should not be a part of. I know there are tons of quotes about insecurity out there, but I will leave you with one that rings true for a lot of us. “Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities.” In other words, never let your insecurities hold you back from pursuing whatever it is that you want, including people/relationships you want, etc. It may also stop you from going after what you want.

I know that a lot of my insecurities come from the fact that I thought I was not like anybody else. I was never really a girly girl or cared too much about my appearance. Sometimes it did not help that I had a sister and friends who are beautiful. I stopped trying to compare myself to them a long time ago. Some insecurities also come from when I did theater/acting because I felt like I was never good enough compared to those who got the parts and are great actors/actresses. I was never one of those people who got the parts. I have to stop myself from those who have had years and years of experience acting. I am nothing like them. I am good at what I do in my own way. I want my readers to take the same lesson. Stop comparing yourself to others and remember that you are good enough. Insecurities should not be listened to. I know rejection sucks and it is one thing I am terrified of, but you have to realize that you did try. My final thought is to let go of insecurity or at least we should try to, no matter how hard it may be in the end. Here are two poems for you, my readers, to enjoy.

Silencing Insecurities

Never believe their twisted lies
Whenever you look into the mirrors
Because you want to be the girl who tries

To fight through it all. They are the killers
On the inside. You are pretty but
Are you strong enough for your pillars?

Do you have enough grit to get out of the rut?
You just have to keep digging through the dirt
To find the diamond. You may want to strut

Around, but sometimes being beautiful will hurt
With the shards of the broken glass down
Your throat. Being perfect does nothing to advert

From insecurity. You have the whole town
And world thinking you are a confident
Pageant queen while smiling when you frown

When you are alone. The devil is the occupant
Within your head that tells you that you are never
Going to be enough. Take every compliment

With pride and dignity. Get rid of and sever
Every voice that always says no instead of yes.
Darling, you have to be the one to pull that lever

And watch it all go down the drain. Bless
Every flaw and blemish. Do not hate your skin
Or think that you are a complete mess

Even on days when you do not feel thin
Enough because someone will love all of that.
Only then will you finally feel like you will win.

Stereotypical Girl

Lose the extra pound.
Try harder. Push harder.
Gain some more weight.
You look too skinny.
You look too fat.
Straighten your hair.
Embrace your natural
Hair. Wear contact lenses
Because that is what
Everyone else does.
Wear glasses, even if
They are fake and unreal.
You want to look smart.
Do not wear too much makeup,
Otherwise you will look like
A clown. Some is better
Than none. Get your nails
Done. Go shopping at the
Mall. Wear tight clothes.
Wear loose clothing.
Be proud of your natural
Looks. Do not get fooled
By the stereotypes thrown
Your way just because
You are a girl in this world.

Being a Warrior, Queen and Fighter All Together

Looking at the title of this post, I am sure that you are scratching your head wondering, what the heck?! Yes, they all have relation to one another. How so, you might ask. They are all strong and come back when they are knocked down. There is a reason why I grouped them all together, including this quote I found, from r.h. Sin, one of my favorite writers/poets and I know that there are a lot more great quotes about this subject. “heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. there is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul. she is you. a warrior, a champion, a fighter, a queen.” I know that we all have this strength within us or a will to get back up and keep fighting. I was also inspired to write about this because I have had a strong interest in kickboxing, especially since I took a kickboxing class when I was in college. Naturally, I think I am a fighter so I know that other people are. I am lucky, I know, but I am still determined and work hard. I try my best to embody all of these. Other people probably do the same.

We have to be all of these people, although we really do not have to be a warrior, queen or a fighter. What I am saying is that although you do not have to be one of those kinds of people, I would say to have the mentality of one or all of those people. Be strong and fierce like a warrior. Have the confidence and wear the crown like the a queen. Get back up and keep going like a fighter. I know that we are all going through our own battles and fights, sometimes on a daily basis. We never give up and still just keep pushing, sometimes even through the pain.

There are some of us who are lucky enough to have people right there with us through it all including the pain, sadness, tears, scars, etc. They never try to change us, they are there to support us and to not tear us down. They let us be fighters, warriors, and queens, if we want to. I also want to inspire people by including lyrics to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite human beings/singers, “Warrior” by Demi Lovato. Now I’m a warrior/I’ve got thicker skin/I’m a warrior/I’m stronger than I’ve ever been/And my armor, is made of steel, you can’t get in/I’m a warrior/And you can never hurt me again.” Since we have some slightly different subjects in here I will include more than one piece. I encourage my readers to keep fighting and be someone who never gives up. Cheers!!

Fighter

You see the scars and all the pain.
You still want me with it all anyways.
You let the tears that fall down stain

Our clothes and sheets. You gaze
At me and still love me no matter what
Happens. I always surprise and amaze

You every day. Even the punch in the gut
Does not phase you one bit. You say I am
A fighter, head held high. When I shut

Down and feel empty you open the dam
To let me feel everything with you right
There. On the days I when I want to slam

The door shut on you and take flight
You pick me up in your arms to show
Me how much you care. You are my light

And you never try to take away my glow.
I am not living in the shadows and doubt
Anymore. I am living every low

And high with you. I am never in this bout
And fight alone. You are in my corner.
They should know we would never bow out.

Like A Queen

Do not let them tell you a lie.
You are better than every dead
Flower at your feet. Do not cry

Because of despair. Keep your head
Up straight and keep walking because
You never realize you have rosy red

Lips like the queen of hearts. People’s jaws
Hit the ground because you are full of
Wonder and beauty. Continue the buzz

Following you everywhere. Shove
Aside the hatred and jealousy.
You are wonder woman. Endless love

Is in your heart. You have better clarity
About the world all around you.
People want to worship you endlessly

Because you have made it through
Every fire and storm still intact.
People have not realized you grew

Stronger because of it all. You are cracked
Below the surface and far from flawless
Like everybody else. You make an impact

On the world. You never get enough solace
Because people think of you as unbreakable.
Although you are bold, you are still cautious

With a presence that is unshakable.
And your life lessons are unmistakable.

Keeping Things Private

We live in a social media generation, especially for the newer generation. Social media can be great for keeping up with friends, staying up to date of what is going on, that is how some people get their news, and just overall broadcasting information to share. Social media can also become addictive and too informative, hence tmi which stands for too much information. There are days when I use social media a lot and there are days when I do not use it all that much. I know that it varies from person to person. Broadcasting your business does not mean necessarily doing it on social media like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. It could mean telling your friends, family and people you know.

I have learned that there are at least some things to stay private about. In fact, I believe there are at least three things that should be on the down low, which means that it is pretty much a secret and it stays between you/someone else or between you/yourself. Here is a quote explaining those three things. “Always keep your love life, bank account and next move private.” I happen to agree with it, especially as I have gotten older. I have made mistakes in terms of these, but I have gotten slightly better about them over the years. It is true that people begin speculating, but it is okay to let them speculate. The truth is that they do not have to know everything about you.

I think this is especially is important if you are in a romantic relationship because what happens if you are in a relationship, especially a new one, and something happens like you break up, but people know about it anyways. That is no good. It sometimes, in a sense, puts a jinx on your relationships. I made that mistake with my first and only boyfriend, so far. I have learned this from previous experience and my older sister has been a role model/inspiration. This also goes with almost everything in life. People should know some things about you, but you should keep some mystery. The only exception, my case and some other peoples cases is the best friend. This is the one person we tell almost everything to. She is one of the few people I trust completely. That person is the one exception, but sometimes there are things that person does not know and that is perfectly okay.

That is why you have to be careful who you tell your business to because yes, there are people who you can trust, but there are also people who you should never trust because they are just looking for gossip and rumors to be spread around. They want to get into your business. It is like being protective of yourself and setting up boundaries. It keeps yourself and sanity safe as well as protected. It is like protecting your identity and what you do. Yes, I do post some personal stuff, especially on this blog, but I do not talk about people specifically by name unless they are that important to me and when a lot of people know who they are. I guess all of this comes from having a big family, especially on my mom’s side of the family. I will leave you all with one more quote to sum it all up. “Nothing ever comes from too many people knowing your business. Being private and low-key is the best way to be.” Cheers everybody!

Keeping Things Private

Keeping things on the down low
Between you and me because
Not everybody has to know.

People try to sink their claws
Into us but they only want
The latest gossip. Their jaws

Hit the floor but nothing will haunt
Them more than not being able to
Know the real truth. Do not flaunt

What should stay private even when you
Make the next move, they should not always
Know that either. Protect what is brand new.

Let my complicated life be my maze.
I do not need people to enter their
Own commentary. It really pays

To be careful because some swear
To be faithful and secretive while others
Are just looking to pick you bare.

Depression/Sadness/Anxiety

Just giving everybody a heads up on this deeply personal and emotional post. Depression….Sadness….Anxiety….These are all things that we have dealt with at some point or another because we have gone through them ourselves or we know people who suffer from them or a combination of both. Sadness is something that is pretty much self explanatory, so I am going to leave that one alone for now. I do not think people realize how terrifying and draining these are. “Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hate socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything but then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.” You have these two conflicting emotions to deal with. I am not a complete expert on these subjects, but I have felt them at some point or another in my life because we are being honest here.

These are emotions and feelings that just take over. We cannot, for the most part, control what or how to feel in these situations. People have panic attacks and sometimes depression hits you at random times. You just have to ride out the waves and just realize they never go away completely. These go into the category of mental illnesses which are really serious. I highly encourage my readers to talk to a licensed professional if they or anybody they know has this illness, especially depression.

When it comes to this subject matter I hope people realize that they are not alone, myself included. Loving these people can be challenging, but have patience. They need as much help as they can get. The worst thing you can do is to tell them to get over it because the sad truth is that they cannot. Hang in there and do not forget to breathe, especially having anxiety. Never make fun of people who have mental illnesses ever and it is never something to be taken lightly. It is something that people have to deal with on a daily basis. Just know I am right there with you.

Letting Everything Take Over

What if I let the darkness take over and consume me?

Just for a moment the peace and quietness will take control

Over me. I can forget about my racing thoughts and I will see

 

That I am not that broken girl anymore. I will be whole

Again just for that frozen memory and time.

Every bit of sadness that washes over me stole

 

Every part of the happy girl I used to be. I cannot climb

To the top of the mountain anymore because I have lost

That battle. The demons have won. I feel every bit of grime

 

Stuck on me. It is like living in a nightmare and holocaust

Every day of my existence. I try to always follow

The crowd. I have been looked over and have been tossed

 

Away just because I always look happy. I am so hollow

And empty on the inside, but nobody ever wants to truly

See that. They cannot stand to see me wallow

 

I get asked “Are you okay?” I have to answer them coolly

That I am perfectly okay when we both know that everything

Is not below the surface. I have no sense of my natural beauty.

Why I Write

I have been writing poetry for as long as I could remember. I date it back to middle school when we wrote poems for English class. It has stuck with me ever since then. I always credit my 8th grade English teacher, Mr. Rose, for encouraging me to keep writing. People must wonder why I write, especially poetry.

The answer is very complex, but it makes sense to people who are the closest to me and it obviously makes complete sense to one person…That person would be me. I do not write poetry just for the heck of it, although I write a lot when I have nothing else to do. I write it for myself. I write it because it helps me make sense of what I am feeling, especially deep down inside. For other people, it is like writing in a journal or listening to music. It is therapeutic and soothing.

As a person who is, for the most part shy, unless she is around people she really knows, it has always been an important part of my life… the writing of poetry. I know that I have a hard time expressing how I feel, especially out loud and writing poetry has helped me break out of that shell. Writing is the best way to say what I need to say without feeling bad about it. In fact, it feels rewarding and freeing, especially if I am dealing with a bad situation or if I am otherwise weighted down. I write regardless if I am happy, sad, angry, mad, frustrated, etc. It is my way of coping with everything. I always try to carry around a notepad and pencil just in case if I get any inspiration. I even write notes on my iPhone.

In this world, you do not necessarily have to be a poet or a writer. As David Carradine says “If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.” In other words, we can all be writers and poets, but it matters more what you write and the content because it shows we have something to say or at least that is how I interpret that quote. People can disagree with me all they want to. I am leaving it open to interpretation.

To be a poet/writer you have to be open, especially to criticism, the ability to have guts and being vulnerable. That is what makes your writing better and more honest. I feel like honesty is the best policy. You choose what you get to write about. Natalie Goldberg says “Write about what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” In conclusion, when you are writer and Natalie is saying this as well, you have to be fearless and be willing to anything/everything. So I strongly encourage all of my readers to write, draw or whatever it is that expresses who you are and what you have to say. I promise you that it will be worthwhile in the end. It gives you a chance to be yourself or you can be someone else like in theatre and acting. That is the reason why I like theatre as well. There are simply no rules and you can do it any way you want to. Here are two pieces just to show similarities and differences. Enjoy!!

Writing

I get so lost in the words that I write.

The rest of the world fades away as

The words spill out like ink on paper

And beautiful images begin forming.

I do not notice the daylight bleeding

Into the darkness. Everybody talks

Their solitude and this is mine.

The paper listens to me and my pen

Is waiting for my command.

Here, nobody tells me the rules

Or how to write or what to write.

I listen to what my head and my

Heart tell me. Every story comes

To life and it captivates me.

 

Spilled Words

Words spilling out on a blank piece

Of canvas and images tumbling

Out. The doubt will stop and cease

 

Just for a moment. Thoughts stumbling

And lagging behind are catching up to

Me. Things that were once crumbling

 

To the floor like ash are rising up to you,

The one who never truly understands

Unless you know me. My long-lasting blue

 

Sky is different than yours. The strands

Running through my fingertips would never

Make sense to you. Hang onto my hands

 

So you know what I feel, but forever

Feels like a long time ago. Catch onto my

Every word. It will take however

 

Long it needs to for you to get why I cry

And the reasons why I write. Everything

I create are my friends. They make me less shy.

Being Yourself

I know that it is a topic that I have talked about in so many of my blog posts, but it deserves its own category and it is something that I will always continue to talk about since it is something that is very important to me. That would be being yourself. We are born into this world and I have to admit that sometimes it takes some time to figure out who you are. It also takes some time to figure out what you want to do. I remember a while back ago, I am pretty sure it was about a year ago, I was talking to this person who I know who said to me “You’re you.” I sat there and thought about it… I did not truly understand what this person meant. So in fact I asked them pretty much what that means. This person said “You’re you, but your personality is so much more.” In other words, you have to be yourself and your own person. You cannot lose your personality and what makes you who you are, especially to please other people. In fact, you should not be around those people if they cannot appreciate who you really are.

I am digging back into Mandy Hale, one of my many heroes, who says “Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.” What Mandy is saying is that we have to be ourselves and we have to let people see who we really are, even if we have imperfections we do want them to see. We all have quirks, imperfections and things that only make us unique. You cannot be anybody else because as Oscar Wilde says…”Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Live in your own skin and your own body. I encourage all of my readers to be themselves. It is truly the only person we can be. Enjoy the following poem.

Be Yourself

Live in your own body and skin.
Nobody can live the life you can.
It is your blessing and your sin.

You are always better than
Those who pretend to be
Someone else. Always ban

Negative flow. Fit your key
Into you own lock and open
It wide. You are not me

Or he or she. You are not a token
In someone else’s pocket. You
Are not the words spoken

By someone else. Be true
To the person you become.
Be flawed. Be one of the rare few

Who will always come from
A deeply rooted place.
Be full with life, not just some.

Always fill in, color and trace
Your own lines. Remember
That you have your own face.

Guardian Angels/Faith

First of all, I want to wish everybody a happy 2017. This is my first post of the new year. Let us dive right into it. Growing up in a household with a Jewish dad and a Catholic mom has been interesting not only because they are not practicing, but also because my parents have never forced us to choose a religion. They let us make our own decisions when it comes to that. I have never been a strong believer in God or anything like that. However, that does not mean I do not believe in things like guardian angels, etc. I believe that there is someone out there looking after me and if it was not for my guardian angel I would not be here. When people think of a guardian angel they (like myself) automatically believe it to be an actual person, but in my mind it does not necessarily mean it is an actual person. It can be something as simple as a voice you can hear inside of your head.

Angels, whether they are people or voices or objects, are there to ward off evil/bad things. They remind you that there is goodness/light no matter if there is a lot or a little darkness in life. They give you that hope and a reason to hang on. They give you balance and may help restore whatever faith you have. It does not matter what or who you believe in, just know that you always have someone/something watching over you no matter where you are. Somehow, angels are among us. I have also included a quote to remind us of that. “Angels live among us. Sometimes they hide their wings, but there is no disguising the peace and hope they bring.” They are, as this poem reminds us all, our protector/guardian. I hope that this new year brings everybody hope and some kind of faith. Just know that nobody can ever take those away from you. Since we are on the subject here, I will include another poem, below the one I have already included.

This angel in the picture up above was given to me by my 2nd mom after I got my driver’s license back in September and helped, in a sense, with this poem I wrote.

Guardian Angel

What the hell am I going to do?
When the world all around me
Is a mess and I can only think of you

My guardian angel, who will see
The good in me even when I
Am not seeing it. I want to feel free

Without the burdens. Every tear I cry,
You take them away with everything
That is feeling heavy. You fly

Me to a safer place. I want to cling
To you and that protection. During
My darkest times you bring

Me endless light that I find alluring
And peaceful. That voice, telling
Me that I can do this, the reassuring

One in my head is saying to stop dwelling
On the past, on mistakes, on the low-level
Thoughts, and to start living. Stop selling

My soul and heart over to the devil
In disguise. He wants to see me fall apart
Just like the world and wants to revel

In my weakness. My pulsing heart
Is still intact in my angel’s hands.
She is giving me a new start

Every day and when I cannot stand
Anymore. She is my strength, light,
Anchor, protector, and a rubber band,

Keeping everything together tight.
She is my guide through every
Storm, rough wave, and dark night.

P.S. I won a contest with the above poem on a website I have been a part of for a while, called Deep Underground Poetry. The contest theme was angelic protector.

Our Own Version of Faith

I do not pray to the same God as you,
But I still carry that faith and hope
With me like the heavy load. Through

Every hard time, I hang onto the rope
Like a miracle. Somewhere up there
An angel is watching, trying to cope

With brokenness. I will not bear
Anybody else’s crosses except for
My own. You have a prayer

Spilling out of your lips. Save it before
You go preaching to someone who will
Never accept it. I have my own door

To open and walk through. Keep still
While others are feeding you made
Up lies. I hope that you continue to fill

Yourself up with love and every blade
Of grass running through your finger
Tips. Never let those moments fade

Away. Never let your hatred linger
Behind, even when you do not agree
With someone else. Imagine the bigger

Picture of the world. It is more than me
And it is more than you. It is not just
Black and white anymore. It is we

And us. Everything can be discussed
And heard.  Everything could be argued.
How can we ever have such distrust?

Being Open To New Possibilities/Chances

Just a little backstory before I dive right into it… When I was little, I used to be a picky eater by eating a whole lot of plain food plus my parents used to cook me a separate meal and I did not enjoy super spicy food. I fast forward as I got older and that slowly began to change. I felt like it got better when I went off to college and after I graduated from college. I remind my parents that they no longer have to cook a separate meal and I eat whatever I am served. There are still some things I refuse to eat and my taste buds have changed. I still will not eat super spicy food, but some spice is okay. What is the whole point to this? I know that I have talked about to never make assumptions and I think I also talked about keeping an open mind. That is what I am getting into.

I was also just talking to someone I know and I was explaining to her about a situation I am in right now, but I am not giving too many details. As I was explaining to her what was happening, she said to never shut out new possibilities. In the back of my mind, I was thinking about times where I say yes, even in situations where you should say no. However, I would say to be respectful of your boundaries, so if you need to say no or maybe go ahead and do so. There is nothing wrong with that, but that is not what I am talking about here. I have learned, especially a lot recently, to be open to any possibilities, regardless if you are unsure. You may never know where you will end up going. It could turn out great or maybe not so great after all.

This brings me to a quote that I found which perfectly relates to what I am talking about. “Today, open yourself up to new opportunities. Be accepting and ready for all of the wonderful possibilities that are coming your way… Your time to bloom is now.” There is no day like the present for new things because new things are for the most part good, especially when it feels like you need a change or more adventures. Even if they do not work out, they still teach you something. Maybe I am thinking about this with the new year arriving, although this may be my first post of the new year. I am strongly encouraging my readers to taking chances and to be open to new possibilities/opportunities. I challenge everybody, including myself, to making it one of the many New Year’s resolutions. Always have that voice in your head that says you can do this, no matter what happens. I am including two poems in this post today.

Something New

Goodbye to the bad habits I am trying
To get rid of forever. I am not going to
Live my life in the past while crying

 

Over something I cannot change. You
Try to keep me down, but I never need
People who do not need me. The new

And fresh start to something is a seed
Of hope. There is a better version of me
Somewhere inside. The desire to succeed

Is overwhelming and I know that I can see
Myself blossoming into one of those flowers
I love so much. I am stronger than the tree

Roots. I am rising up taller than the towers
And skyscrapers. Something is out there
The horizon. I am taking what is ours,

What we built and began. The clean air
Surrounds us and there is a new beginning.
All I can do is to send out a prayer.

 

New Chances

New possibilities, both new and old.

Never shut yourself out from the cold

Because it will make you appreciate

The warmth a bit more. Never wait

For anything to catch up with you

Just like you cannot wait to be through

With old doors before opening new ones.

Darling, you cannot be the one who outruns

The fresh chances that come your way.

You have to sometimes try to stray

From the path just a bit to learn to say yes.

Life is still always going to be a mess

In the end. This is your chance to shine,

Bloom and to be the first one in line

This time without being second best.

I know that you are weary and need a rest,

But you have this handled because this

Is your year. This only your bliss.

 

P.S. As the new year (2017) is upon us as of tomorrow (the 1st of January), I want to wish everybody a happy new year and I hope that you have a great start to the new year. Thanks for continuing to show me your support, as this blog (Messyties) is turning a year old. Thank you all so much. I hope the new year brings you all good things. I am leaving you all with another quote since this one is special for the new year and it is said by Rainer Maria Rilke. She says “And we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been.” I hope that everybody opens their heart to new things for the new year.

All Things Long Distance

When I first think of long distance, I think of something along the lines of a long distance phone call or a long distance relationship. However, after thinking about it for a while longer, it goes far beyond that because you can also have a long distance friendship or relationship with family members. I remember when I was in college (on the East Coast), I had that kind of relationship with my friends and family who were out here in California. Now I am dealing with the same kind of thing over here with my friends and people who are like family to me on the East Coast. Long distance is one of the most challenging and difficult things to deal with. You do not always get to see them as much as you used to (it even happens sometimes when friends and family are close by too).

Luckily, I have not been in a long distance relationship (even though I have been pretty close to having one a couple of times with my first boyfriend and a guy I was “dating”). Like I said before, anything long distance can be challenging and extremely difficult. It takes a lot of strength, courage and a lot of patience. It is not for everybody (I know that), but also you go through so many obstacles it may (or may not) be worth it in the end. I know that I would learn so much from having one of those kinds of relationships. Sometimes those kinds of relationships/friendships are better than the other ones (I am lucky enough to have those who are far away and also close by). You cannot help but miss them.

I searched high and low (because I just did not want to focus on just long distance relationships, as in romantic relationships) for a great quote. I think that I found a pretty good one. “You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That’s the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” I love that quote so much because wherever we go (whether it is across the United States or outside of this country) we always meet amazing people and they can sometimes become that person who means a lot to us. I am thinking of this long distance, especially with more of the holidays coming up (like Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, etc.) because those holidays are about being together and sharing many moments together. Sometimes it is hard to celebrate because family, friends and others are not right there besides you physically, but for the most part they are there with you mentally.

This serves as reminder to my readers and everybody else to cherish those moments with people who are right besides you because you will never find anybody as special as them. Furthermore, do not forget about those who may seem far away because you will (eventually) see them again. Do not forget to cherish those moments (whenever you see them) with those people as well. Nobody said long distance was going to be easy, but you just have to hang in there. I wish everybody happy holidays. May you have a Merry Christmas, a happy New Year (and whatever else it is that you all celebrate). And like I said before, not all things last forever. In this case, long distance does not always last forever. Enjoy this poem.

Long Distance

You are running through my mind,
But there is nothing I can do about
It with you so far away. I am blind
To what people say. It is like a drought,
Parched and dried up with little hope
Left for the rain. I want to shout

 

That life is not fair. This frayed rope
Is all that I have left to hang onto just
Barely. How am I supposed to cope?

How am I supposed to survive? We must
Fight for whatever is left, although I
Just want to give up. I put my full trust

Into you. I suppose that I could lie
And tell you that I do not want this
Anymore, but all we can do is still try.

We are supposed to be getting bliss
And happiness, but it is all on trial.
We are still in this endless abyss.

With all the distance and every mile
That is between us, there is audacity.
I may never want to live in denial

Ever again. This takes a lot of tenacity
And lots of hard work, but somewhere
Deep inside it takes us our full capacity.