Author: Elena

I was born and raised in the Bay Area. Growing up, I went to Berkeley public schools up until I left California to attend McDaniel College, located in Westminster, MD. I graduated from McDaniel College with a B.A. in Theatre Arts with a focus in Acting.

Getting Lost

It happens to all of us at some point. We start off on the right path or heading towards the right destination and somehow along the way we get utterly lost. Do not think of it as a bad thing because getting lost is just a part of life. To be honest, right now I am in a part of my life where I am lost, but I am heading towards something great (or at least I hope so one day) and I am sure that a lot of people feel the same way. There is this quote that I found that is absolutely amazing. “Just because my path is different doesn’t mean I am lost.” What that quote is saying is that everybody’s path is different and that is perfectly okay. It is also saying that does not necessarily mean that we are lost. It is just the way of life (as I was saying before).

I know that we all get lost, but sometimes it is better to not feel so alone in getting lost. In other words, you have to find someone who is not afraid of getting lost with you. It does not matter if it is a friend, a family member or someone you love (like a partner, etc.), but you should be able to lean on them and trust them. Another thing that goes along with being lost is being found (sometimes again). There is this back and forth thing going on with being lost and then being found. Sometimes we want to be found and other times we do not want to be found (in other words we want to be lost forever).

I want to encourage my readers (that would be you who is reading this) to take advantage of this time when you are lost and realize that although it may seem like a sucky thing like that is something wonderful. It means that maybe you are not happy with how your life is going and hence getting lost is the best solution to that. There is a quote (that I love) that explains why getting lost is a good thing. “Getting lost is a good way to find yourself.” I personally think that in those moments where you get lost (which can be scary) is when you truly find yourself and what you truly care about. I hope that you enjoy this piece (and get literally lost within it if you want to). Cheers!! I still hope that you all find someone like this in your life (and trust me that they may be worth it completely).

Lost Together

I was more afraid of losing you rather than

Losing myself. It was not that I was getting

Lost, it was the fact that I could and can

 

Get lost with you. We were not jetting

Off to somewhere new and foreign

Because we are not worried about fitting

 

In with anybody. Together we have fallen,

But we are getting up and continuing on.

Sometimes this big world is barren

 

And cannot protect us. We cannot let it wan

Our hope or faith that we will survive while

Still getting lost together. Let the past bygone

 

As well as this unexplored terrain. Every mile

Lost is another step gained from walking this

Path with you. Every tear and smile

 

Is worth it. We would never want to miss

Out on any of it. Getting lost is an adventure.

We are going into the dark hole and abyss.

Having Patience

Yes, we all go through changes (look on my blog post about that topic if you do not believe me), but a lot of the time we go through major changes and it takes time/patience to get through those major changes. Demi puts it this way. “Have patience. Even the greatest changes in our lives to occur.” Having patience (especially a lot of it) is a life lesson we could (including myself) all use. To be honest, I struggle with having patience, especially with people and things I truly care about. I am sure that everybody has a similar story to the one I am about to tell. Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays growing up (in fact it still is). I would always get so excited and wake up early to open up my presents.

My patience also runs a little thin with people too. For example, there is this person I am dealing with (I will not name anybody specifically). Let us call this person K. I want to meet up with that person so badly, but it has not worked out and I have expressed my concern. This person told me to be patient with them. I am trying my best, but I told this person that they have to be patient with me (especially since I know that I am one of those people who loses their patience pretty easily most of the time). Patience in a sense is like what I call the waiting game… You have to be patient almost all the time. When you are waiting on the phone, waiting in traffic, waiting around for something to happen or for someone to show up, etc.

My point to all of this is the importance of having patience, waiting and not rushing into things. The automatic thing that we all do is to rush when there is no point in doing so. I found the perfect quote to tie it all together. “We often want it so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Over-thinking. Fantasizing. Imagining. Expecting. Worrying. Doubting. Just let it evolve naturally.” In other words, just let it all happen the way it is supposed to (no matter if it changes from your original plans). So in other words be patient with people because you never know what they have dealt with or what they are dealing with right now. They are trying to sort out their life and so are you. Whatever you do, do not lose hope or take your frustration out on people (who may or may not deserve it). In other words, hang in there and ride it out. You have to realize that some things (or people) are worth the wait and some are not. That is just the way it goes.

The Waiting Game

The seconds are ticking by,

Then the minutes, and

Then the hours go by.

Who am I waiting for?

What I am waiting for?

Am I waiting for you?

Am I waiting for me?

Am I waiting for us?

Confusion. Anger.

Chaos.  Sadness.

Happiness. Guilt.

What am I feeling?

What should I be feeing?

 

More Time

You are not trying to push me,
But all you are asking for is a little bit
Of patience. You wanted to see

If I could hang on. I do not want to slit
My wrists without knowing what
This feels like. This life will not sit

Down and take a rest. This cut
Of the thread that holds us together
Cannot break anymore. I know that

I cannot let you float away like a feather
Or sink down like a heavy rock. We promised
Ourselves to get through this bad weather

No matter what. If we cannot be honest
With one another then we cannot
Deserve and feel the calmness

Washing over us like a wave. This shot
To the heavens cannot destroy this
Inner turmoil and fire. You caught

My heart and will not let go. The bliss
In our eyes will not be let go of. I
Wish that I would never have to miss

Some of these moments, but I have to lie
To myself for a little bit in order to survive
Through the chaos of life. To cry

Over the situation we have to live
Through is hard, but as long as you
Promise me that we will make it and thrive

Everything should be okay. The two
Of us should be able to handle this united.
It has to be us that will push through

Every battle. This is our own lighted
Path filled with obstacles and challenges.
This is our endless support that is unrequited.

Dealing With the Players

I am going to apologize ahead of time because I know that this is a topic that I am sure a lot of people are tired of hearing about, but I am going to talk about it anyways and I am sorry if I offend people or if any of this comes across as cruel. It is a subject that is important to me and should be important to everybody (especially the girls and women here because we deal with it on a daily basis). That topic is guys who are players (I am not talking about guys who play sports like hockey, baseball, basketball, etc.). These are guys who are smooth in terms of knowing what to do and what to say around women. I am sorry to say that these guys do not care about other people because they only care about themselves and their egos.

They manipulate women and try to (and for the most part succeed) get what they want. They are selfish and sometimes insecure. Trust me, I know this stuff because I have dealt with a guy like this before back when I was in college. Let us call him A (the same guy I talked about when I went to my friend’s wedding back in May). He has changed now, but he treated me so badly when we were in school together. We were on and off again for about 2 years before it all ended. Sure, he treated me pretty good some of the time and a lot of the time he treated me pretty terribly. I ended up getting hurt, but I am glad that it ended before it got super out of hand. The problem was that I kind of knew he was a player. I heard all these stories about him and other girls. In the end, I chose to ignore what people were saying and I pretended like everything was okay, but in the end, none of it was ever okay. I did not deserve to be treated that way. Of course, at the time I did not know who I was dealing with and in fact, before those experiences with A, I never dealt with someone like him before.

I am bringing this up because I had to talk through with my BFF Marcia (I will not go too much into detail, I promise) about a situation she was dealing with that brought up memories with A. She would be telling me about these things with that guy and it would remind me of A (in fact they could be twins or friends in real life). I gave her advice and told her that she should not be wasting her time on this guy (I know that she deserves someone better). The last thing I want to happen to her is to see her hurt. It sucks, but that type of guy would never care about us or how we feel. Let them deal with whatever they are dealing with and leave them alone. In the end, they are not worth our time and energy. I wrote this poem for my BFF Marcia, but this is for all the girls and women across the word who deal with these types of guys on daily basis. Cheers!

And to those guys who this post is directed towards, I hope that you know that you are doing yourself and girls you hurt a disservice. I hope that you gain a new perspective and realize that you are not only hurting yourself, but you are hurting girls who (for the most part) do not deserve it. I am also leaving this poem and quote for you. “Dear Players: Go ahead and play your deceitful little games – lying and manipulating women to get laid – because that’s the only way to get them interested. Maybe you’ll have a different perspective when you’re wiping the tears off your daughter’s face…because she dated a man like you.” (Charles J. Orlando) I really hope that would not take you that long to figure out what you are doing wrong. Take a look at yourself and think about what you should do to change. We are not play things and in the end it really hurts (especially our hearts). I hope that all the guys and girls take what I have to say to heart (no pun intended) because although these types of situations make good writing material, we would rather not see everybody getting hurt because it is painful.

Better Things

He is saying all the right things
And he is making all the right moves,
But you somehow know in
Your heart that he is doing the
Same thing to all the other
Girls too. It is not your fault
And it certainly is not their fault
That he is charming. He is a player
Because he has done this before.
He says that he will change,
But both you and the other girls
Know that will never happen.
Do not be fooled by his
Old fashioned ways or by
The way he treats you
Nicely because he only
Wants one thing. He wants
His fill of you and then
He will be done, leaving you
Heartbroken. I do not want
To see you hurt because
I know that you deserve better.
You deserve more than
Someone who only wants your body.
He will want your mind, body,
And everything else in between.
Although you are hurt now,
At least you know. So I hope
That you do what every strong
Girl does, hold your head up
And keep moving on to
Better things.

New Beginnings

I want to talk about a topic that has probably been on everybody’s mind (at some point or another) and that is new beginnings or fresh starts. Sometimes we all just need a redo or a refresh button (like we do on our computers) for our lives. It is a given that we all make mistakes and we are not always happy with how our lives are going. Sometimes that is what the new year is for, but this is not January. People always say that it is never too late to start over again. There is this quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald (people say it’s from the movie “A Curious Case of Benjamin Button) that I love so much. He says “For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.”

Another thing we must talk about (since we are talking about new beginnings) is endings. Sometimes you cannot start something new if you have not already ended something. On the other hand we have to realize that there is no ending (never ending). So I hope that we can all learn to refresh, reset or end something because in fact, all of that takes courage and strength. On the other hand, none of that may be okay with other people, but it is whatever. This is our life and we can do whatever we want with it, even if it means starting all over again. We all need a new beginning (or at least to have the choice), a reset button, and a change of scenery (especially if we have been stuck in the same place).

Reset Button

I wish that we could all have

A reset button. A redo

Button to undo everything.

Every mistake, every memory,

But then life would be perfect.

There would be no faults, no

Cracks, and no imperfections.

That may be okay for some

People, but not for everybody.

 

Change of Scenery

It’s time to change scenery.

Life can get boring and tiring.

Life can get chaotic and lonely.

I want to pack bags and travel

The anywhere and everywhere

In the world. Life can get

Mundane and dull.

The world is mean to be

Explored and enjoyed.

Find something to be

Passionate about. Life isn’t

Always about putting down

Roots in one place. Home isn’t

Where you’re from, it’s about

Finding a place where you

Finally feel happy and where

You find peace and excitement.

Life isn’t always about pain

And sadness. It’s about

Dealing with it and enjoying

The scenery. It’s about looking

At the world around you.

It’s about looking at yourself and

Being able to breathe.

Cutting Ties

One of the most difficult things to do in this world is to cut ties with other people. It is difficult, but for the most part it is necessary (especially to cutting those ties with negative/toxic people). You do not want them to poison your spirits and to make things worse than what they already are. If you cannot cut ties with those people then your mind is telling you something. You have to dig deep and really think if you still want those people to be a part of your life. If the answer is no, you have to cut ties and show them the exit door. If the answer is yes, then they are good people. If the answer is I do not know (or I am unsure) then you really have to go with your gut (to figure it out). If you really have to think about it then that is telling you something.

It does not matter if you have been friends or in a relationship or are just acquaintances.  You should never let any of that cloud your judgment or the decisions you make. It should be clear that the people you are cutting ties with are not good for you at all. They will do anything to weigh you down, bring drama, and keep you back from finding someone or something better. It is just the way it goes. As Steve Maraboli puts it “The path to freedom is illuminated by the bridges you have burned, adorned by the ties you have cut, and cleared by the drama you have left behind. Let go. Be free.” In other words, cutting ties should feel freeing and rewarding. On the other hand, sometimes other people cut ties with you and sometimes they just up and leave you behind. In terms of that situation, it is oh well. You just have to think that they did not deserve you anyways.

To all my readers, I hope that you have the strength and courage to cut ties because as painful as it is, it is also a good thing to do. It is cleansing and in a sense it is like a detox (to the system). What is at stake is yourself (mind and body) and your health. It is all about what you deserve because as I said before you (and everybody else) deserves happiness. So hang in there. Remember that sometimes the people who you cut ties with deserve to be cut because they did something bad to you and the chances are that they are the ones who handed you the scissors to begin with. I hope these poems bring you peace and more understanding. Happy reading!!

Cutting Ties

Sometimes, cutting ties is the

Best thing to do. It’s better to

Move on rather dwelling

On sometimes that hurt you

Or that make you doubt

Everything that you thought

Existed. Holding onto

Something for that long can

Make you miss out on

Something good and

Miss out on something

That can change your life.

So do whatever it takes

To move on – deleting

Their number, deleting their

Facebook. You don’t need a

Constant reminder of what

Went wrong. It’s not your

Fault. People, they change.

They want and need

Different things they did

Before. They do nothing

But hurt other people. It

Doesn’t matter if you

Forgive them or not.

You’ve got to move

Forward. With life.

With love. With living

And breathing.

 

Detox

I have this irrational fear

Of running into you and

Not knowing what to do

Or what to say.

What if I freak out?

What if I run the other way?

Do you know how I feel?

It made me feel more alone

When you just up and left

With no reason to come back.

Do you know how much I hate you for that?

I am trying to get it all, including you,

Out of my system. It is all a detox of

The sad and bad things. It is like clearing

My system of all the hurt and toxins.

I am trying to let the anger dissolve

And slowly fade away. I am trying

To forgive you like I have

Done in the past. Forgive me while

I am trying to let go the

Disappointment and frustration.

Do not be mad when I am trying

To move on and completely forget

About you. It feels like by the time

You are willing and ready, I will

Be already done with you.

I will not let you become

My crutch and drug anymore.

I will not cave and give in to you.

I will not relapse and overdose.

You were my antidote. Now I am

The antidote for myself.

I am my own detox. I am my own.

Lightness Versus Darkness

I do not know why, but I have almost always been interested in lightness versus darkness. It is a topic that always seem to make an appearance in my work. Maybe it fascinates me or is just something that always comes up. I almost always find ways to compare and contract them because they are so similar yet different at the same time (if that makes sense). People who know me so well know that I have nothing but light within me (hence why I smile a lot), but I (just like almost everybody else) have a dark side and have bad days. Some people come in versions of light and dark (like certain people represent darkness and others represent lightness). On the other hand, there are people who represent both.

I just wish that more people would realize there is a mix of both lightness and darkness in this world (and it always is not a bad thing). There is this quote by Madeleine L’Engle (who wrote “A Wrinkle In Time) that I absolutely love. She says that “Maybe have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light” and that is so absolutely true. You have to take whatever comes with the darkness and whatever comes with the lightness as well. You cannot always have one without the other. In those times of darkness do not be afraid to ask for help for you to pull yourself up. I also wish that people will show me the darkest parts of themselves because I am not always afraid of those parts of them (I am not that kind of person). I think it is raw and imperfect (to me that is perfectly okay).

So to my readers… I promise you that you are not the only one who deals with darkness because I know I have and other people have done the same as well. Do not be afraid to have a dark side (just as long as you know that you do not have to be there forever). Hang in there… We have all been there and there are certainly better days (hopefully filled with light and better things ahead). Fair warning, these poems are in terms of people and sometimes they come in forms of symbols. Enjoy!!!!!

The Lightness Vs. The Darkness

This guy right in front of me,

He just might be my future.

He’s the one that I’m supposed

To love, to marry, to have kids

With, and to grow old with.

We’re supposed to be happy.

To raise our kids, see them

Grow up and be grandparents

Together. We’re supposed to

Do all of those things together.

But what if everything changes?

How am I going to reassure

This perfect guy and myself that

Everything is going to be okay?

When I know that everything

That we planned might fall

Apart and slip right from our

Grasp. What if it’s him that

I fall in love with? What if

I’m lured away by that guy

In the corner. The guy

I would normally ignore

Because he’s too dark and

Unknown. He’s different than

My future because while my

Future pulls me into the light,

The other drags me away into

The darkness where there is

No light, not even a peak of

Sunlight. Maybe that’s where

I belong. Wherever he goes,

I follow and go along with him

Because even though he may

Not belong in my future, he’s

Still there, waiting for me.

 

Light and Dark

I can see the light behind your

Eyes and I can see the complete darkness

There too. I don’t want to you endure

Any pain. You should also feel the lightness.

It can either put you on your knees with

A prayer on your lips or leave you

Celebrating with the angels. You may wish

And hope that things don’t fall through,

But you may never know that the plans

Are. Sometimes there’s a beacon

Of hope. There might be hands

To give us help. Don’t let the demons

Frighten you. They have no hope.

They only want you to fall and feel heavy.

So while we’re given ways to cope

And deal with all, don’t let the hefty

Weights bring you down. The light

Is there to get you to a positive place.

You are strong enough to fight.

You know you can reach home base.

The cheers and good thoughts should

Propel you forward and lift you up.

There you should see the good.

Don’t let it all buildup.

You have a good heart

And you are kind. Don’t let the

World take it all apart.

You don’t deserve that. Never bet

Against the bad. You should be setting

And smashing your goals. There’s no logic

To being in a life stressing

Mess. There’s no need to suffer a psychotic

Breakdown. There’s no need to suffer

And pay for the dark night.

Be like the summer,

Bright and put on the light.

That smile should glow

And remind you of being positive.

This is your show.

Don’t dwell on the negative.

Having High Standards

I want to talk about a topic that is very important and that is having high standards. High standards… Whether we want to admit it or not we all have high standards when it comes to relationships (I am talking about dating/love types of relationships, but any other kinds of relationship will do). I know that there are many people who we cross paths with. We have to determine whether those people are important enough to stay and be a part of those lives. We can call them boundaries or standards or whatever else we want to call them. Nevertheless, they are almost the same exact things. They are a set guideline that we establish in order to live a healthy and happy life. We set those standards not for other people, but for ourselves.

There is this quote that I came across that I totally agree with. “Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.” What that quote is saying is that you should never be sorry for having high standards because they are there for a reason and they will never be too high for those who want to be a part of your life. The other people who do not want to rise up to meet them are not important and they really should not matter to you at all. I do not want to be rude or blunt, but you should really kick those people to the curb because in the end those people are not worth it. I have to admit that even I have high standards. That does not make me or anybody else a prude and does not make us feel uncertain. More than anything else, it shows that we know exactly what we want because we observe and pay enough attention to what goes around us.

These high standards are not just for our personal lives (dating), but they are also applied to every other aspect of our lives. In the end what I am saying is that having high standards are important because you cannot just let anybody walk all over you. I have gotten my high standards from my parents (especially my dad because he treats my mom so well) and from other people. As I have said before, I am one of those people who likes observing and for the most part, I know what I want, hence my high standards. I want to conclude this post with one of my favorite quotes by Steve Maraboli. “Just because she has high standards doesn’t mean she’s high maintenance. Don’t confuse the two.” So listen up ladies and gentlemen… Treat us with respect, dignity, etc. and you will be perfectly okay. That is all we are asking for and may we all find someone (or more than one person) who will meet our high standards face on. In fact, find those people who go way above and beyond those standards. Those are the type of people you want to keep around for the long haul. Thanks for tuning in.

High Standards

Every kiss on my hand and

On other parts of my body

Give me chills. Every time

You hold my hand and

Hold me it gives me

Reassurance that you

Want me as much as

I want you. You are

Showing and telling me

That you care. When you

Brought me flowers

You are being thoughtful.

When you are meeting

My family you are

Being brave. When you

Bring my mom flowers

And my dad wine you are

Being considerate.

When you are helping me

With my jacket and

Opening my door you are

Being a gentleman.

I have high standards

And you are rising up

To meet them. You are

Going above and beyond

My expectations.

Just when you are not

Looking it comes to you.

Different Perspective and Point of View

I know that I have talked about things from a woman’s point of view (because I am a woman), but I want to talk about something a little different here. Firstly, I wanted to share this quote by Oprah Winfrey (I found this quote in Demi’s book in her entry on July 13th). “So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.” I know that we have all fallen down and I know that I am included in that as well. What we have to do is to either see things from the ground up when we fall or to pick ourselves up. I know that we are more than capable of picking ourselves up, but I know that it be sometimes hard to do so. Sometimes it is harder to see things from the ground up.

One thing I have learned (especially writing this blog and my poetry) is to see things from a different perspective. I know I see things from being a white, single female, but maybe it is time to see things from a guy’s point of view or an older or a younger person’s point of view (and I have written from all of those points of view or at least I have tried to). There is nothing wrong with the women in this world, but I just feel like men get ignored and dissed (not always on purpose by the way). I thought it would be interesting to write things from a guy’s point of view because sometimes their point of view can be way different or they may not be so different after all. They may or may not want the same things as us. Point of views can be unusual and unique in a way.

So I want my readers to think about things from a different perspective because you never know what the other person might be thinking or feeling. What I am saying to be open and willing to interpretation. There is a book I read when I was in middle school, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” written by Harper Lee and there is this quote in there that we can all relate to (said by Scout’s dad, Atticus Finch). What he says is “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” If you have not read this book, I would highly recommend it. In the end, I hope that you all enjoy these poems written from a different point of view and to never judge someone because you may not really know them (ties hand in hand with my post about no judgements). There is so much we can learn from other people. Happy reading!! P.S. I thought I would showcase at least two different points of view.

Staying Away

It hurts to see that she still chooses

Me every time, no matter if I try to

Steer her in another direction

Towards someone who is more

Stable and can provide for her

More than I can. Someone who

Cannot hurt her like I can.

Someone who is more deserving

Of her than I am. She does not seem

To care or even notice any of it.

She is so stubborn. Does she

Not realize that I already have a

Reputation? I am already a

Heartbreaker. I am too bad for her

Maybe even too bad for someone

Who is too good like her. She is

Determined to save and change

Me for the better. I do not need any

Of that. What I want is for her

To steer clear away from me.

But she cannot stay away from me.

She is drawn to me like a magnet.

I know how fragile girls like her

Can be. They say that they are

Strong and that they can

Handle anything when I know that

They can break just like that

Into thousands of tiny pieces.

That is easier to deal with.

It is less complicated

And is not so messy. I do not want

Her to see just how messed

Up that I am. I do not want her

To realize how much time I am

A waste for her to deal with.

She could be out, having fun

For once yet she wants to

Draw out all of my pent up emotions

That I try to hide from her. It does not

Work. She can see right through

The façade, the tough exterior

To see the torment and anger

That I have. I want to deal with it

Without her around. I do not want

Her to try to make it all better.

She does not deserve someone

So broken, so damaged like me.

That is why I try to push her away.

All of that closeness is too

Much to deal with.

 

Burnt to the Ground

My eyes flash in terror

To only think that my home,

My town, so beloved and

So sacred. Growing up

And staying with my friends

As kids normally do. Only to

Get destroyed and burnt

Down. I only wish that I

Could call out to my momma,

My everything since poppa

Left us. I want her to take me

Up in her arms, to tell me how

To get rid of the monsters.

If only she, my savior of

Another could protect me now,

To tell me more of her stories

That help me sleep at night.

More of those monsters

Are coming, killing every

Last one of us, not caring

That we were children.

They come, running towards

Me. Their guns and other

Weapons, reflecting in the

Flames, already threatening

To burn down my home, my

Sense of protection. As they

Closer, they remind me of the

Monsters that used to scare me.

My heart starts to beat faster.

My legs want to move as far

Away as I can. But suddenly,

I hear the words of my momma

Telling me to not be afraid.

It’s time to stop fighting and to

Just let go. That’s what I did.

I let go because I know

Anywhere else would be better

Than this place. Better than

Going on living with pain,

With suffering, knowing that

I lost everything. I know that

I will be reunited with

My momma and the rest of

Those who died, watching

Those who survived, knowing

That those horrid people

Killing and taking away

Innocent lives will never be

Able to live a peaceful life.

They will forever be haunted

By the ghosts of the children,

Of the men and women who

Didn’t deserve to die.

Another P.S. In case if my readers cannot figure it out, the first poem (“Staying Away”) is from a guy’s point of view and the second one (“Burnt to the Ground”) was inspired when I went to a small town in France (it’s mostly ruins now) where a lot of kids were killed. Unfortunately many kids died in what is called the “Oradour-sur-Glane massacre” (I believe that’s the one I am talking about).  That is from the point of view of one of the kids (imaginary in my head) who died in that massacre.

Death

I know that this is never a pleasant subject to talk about, but I want to talk about death in this post, especially with all the deaths happening around the world (and especially in the United States). RIP to those who died in these terrorist attacks, the people who died in Orlando, other incidents happening around the world, and people getting killed by cops. Death is extremely hard to talk about because to a lot of people it gets personal and causes a lot of grief. I have not personally experienced  a lot of deaths. There was a family friend that passed away and my grandpa died back when I was a lot younger (my grandparents on my dad’s died before I was born). I would not know what to do if my grandma (on my mom’s side) passed away because she means the world to me and we are extremely close.

What is that one thing that comes with death, besides grief? That would be pain and a lot of the time, sadness. No matter how hard death is, we sometimes have to focus on the positive side as well, even if we have to squint. It is a celebration of that person’s life and all that they have done. We all have our role models who have passed away (mine include Maya Angelou, Robin Williams, Prince, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, etc.) For other people it may vary. So if anybody has ever known someone (plural too), I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I want to include a quote right here.  “We talk about them, because we’re proud. We talk about them because they deserve to be remembered. We talk about them, because even though they are not physically with us, they are never far from our mind. We talk about them, because they are a part of us, a part that we could never ignore or disown. We talk about them, because we love them still and always will. Forever. Nothing will change that.” Scribbles & Crumbs

Death can be as literal or as symbolic or as imaginative as we want it to be. Although we know people who have died, we can also apply that to thing(s) that are not people like relationships. While we mourn for people who have died, we have also mourned for a relationship that has died or faded away. In both cases we are saying goodbye. I think that it is especially important to come together and stand together.

There is a little inspiration behind this poem. Like everybody else I listen to music and one song that I came across is Sam Smith’s “Lay Me Down.” For people who do not know this song, it goes something like this:

Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright
I’ll take care of you
I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

I love Sam Smith plus his lyrics because they personal and moving. This poem I wrote is in mourning of a guy (who I figuratively lost and is still hypothetical), but can be applied to any person or thing that has died (especially to those people killed by cops). May you all rest in peace! And on a somber note, happy reading to everybody and just know that you are never truly alone. There will be a day where we are reunited once again in a world, hopefully filled with better things that what life has to offer now. Whatever happens, I will be right there beside you. There will be a day where we will get past these deaths (maybe not today, but some other day). Lots of love!! P.S. Just a little side note here that this post is dedicated to the victims in Orlando, Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, Dallas cops, and to countless amounts of other victims. May you all rest in peace.

Reunited Once Again

Lay me down next to him

So he does not feel so alone

In this world that has let

Him down. I want to crawl

Into this cocoon with him

So that he knows that I am

Right there with him. He may

Be as dead and cold as his

Tombstone, but nothing

Including the rain could ever

Disturb the peace. Although

He is lifeless and still, he will

Be alive in my mind where

We are dancing. We are

Laughing and smiling

Although he is no longer

Walking this earth. I am

Missing the twinkle in his

Eyes and the swagger in

The way he moves. I just

Know that we will meet again

And be back to how we used

To be. Now I have to imagine

This life without you in it.

I wished that I would be able

To tell him “I love you”

For the last time, but

He already knew that.

There will always be a

Missing piece in my heart

That he took with him

When he left. He knows that

I will never forget him just

Like I know that he will

Never forget me.

Is this why this is all so painful?

Does moving on truly hurt?

Yes, it does hurt, but I have

To move on. I have to do this

For the both of us. We will

See each other again

In another lifetime

Full with happiness, rainbows,

And other good things.

Safe Haven

I was just thinking about the places we all go to when we need a breather or a break from the rest of this world and I am wanting to call this place our “safe haven” (some other people may call it a sanctuary). For me, my safe haven is my writing of poetry because that is where there is no judgement and I can be myself there. Furthermore, I personally think that I have more than one safe haven including acting, etc. For other people it might be reading a book (I like doing that too) or doing yoga or something that is relaxing and safe. There is craziness in this world (and sometimes there is lots of it) so we need to find a place where we are completely safe and sane. When you look it up in the dictionary, it is almost exactly that (slightly different definition, but not by that much).

In some cases a safe haven could be a person. You feel completely at home with that person and they make you feel safe no matter what. More importantly it is a place where your heart is completely safe in the hands of another person (or activity/hobby). There is a wond I found for it (a new word I discoverd) called “querencia (n) [which is] a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels most at home. The place where you are your most authentic self.” So in this world filled with craziness like wars, battles, deaths, and darkness, I hope that each one of us find our save haven because we so desperately need one (or two or three or many more than just one). I am going to leave everybody with a quote I found. I am not a huge religious person, but I found comfort in this quote by Joseph B. Wirthlin in his work titled “Safe Harbor.” I hope that people come to understand and interpret this quote (just like my following poem) in any way that they like. It coincidently coincides with one of my previous posts about storms. “Be assured that there is a safe harbor. You can find peace amidst the storms that threaten you.” I hope that you enjoy that quote and the following poem. Happy reading!!

Safe Haven

Give me a place to hide

When I do not feel like

Facing the world.

Life is tough, but it

Does not always have

To be that way.

Give me a place for

Kind and silent words.

Give me a place where

My heart and mind

Are safe. Give me a place

To protect myself from

Sadness and heartbreak.

Give me a place to hide

All the bad things

And all of my demons.

This is my safe haven.

This is my

Restorative justice.

This is a place of

No judgment.

This is my peace

And quiet.

This is my safe haven.