Being Broken

I just want to give a heads up because this is a tricky and difficult subject matter to navigate for a lot of people, including myself. It is tricky because a lot of people do not want to talk about those times when they have been broken. I know I have talked about rough patches and when people struggle. This is one of those things some people struggle with. Being broken may make you think of a rag doll, but it is truly no fun. I have been broken a time or two, but sometimes you do not notice if you are broken until you hit rock bottom and do your best to pull yourself out. There is a quote I found to explain what I mean. “It doesn’t happen all at once, you know? You lose a piece here. You lose a piece there. You slip, stumble, and adjust your grip. A few more pieces fall. It happens so slowly, you don’t even realize you’re broken… until you already are.” So yeah, being broken is equivalent to something like a wall crumbling. You do not always notice it.

The thing about being broken is that you have every right to pull yourself out and try to not be in that same place again. I know because I have been there, but not anymore. The healing part takes the longest because being broken is being depleted of everything. Energy, yourself, etc. Some people do not always realize that they take you down with them. I am proud to say that I am no longer broken. Yeah, sometimes there is a piece or two missing, but it takes great strength and courage to come back from a place of being broken. It makes you appreciate everything so much more like this quote says. “The broken will always be able to love harder than most. Once you’ve been in the dark, you learn to appreciate everything that shines.” Being broken is a lot like being in the dark like that quote says. I couldn’t agree more.

The lesson to this is to never be afraid of being broken. I just hope everyone finds their way out of being broken and in the dark. There is always something on the other side of all of the pain and misery. Furthermore, if you are broken, please do your best to recognize that feeling and try to not bring anybody down with you. Like I said some people do not realize that they do it so if you or anyone you know is feeling this way, just know it is okay to ask for help. Trust me, we can all come out of it. It is difficult and challenging, I know. Just hang in there. I want to leave you all with this last quote for this post. “Until you’re broken, you don’t know what you’re made of. It gives you the ability to build yourself all over again, but stronger than ever.” Here is also a poem to lift your spirits. Much love to you all and always go towards the light.

No Longer Broken

You sneak your way under my exposed skin,
Latching onto sensitive organs. Goosebumps
Dance across my flesh, but every scraped shin
Reminds me of a time when I avoided the jumps
Only to come crashing into you. You tried fixing
And patching me up. Every smile and every laugh
Became raised words with silent actions, mixing
In excuses to throw me off my game. I was not half
Of the woman you made me out to be, but could
Simply be that girl who did not know any better.
You own the bad parts of me, but never the good
Parts too. You could have easily been my sweater,
But you left me standing out in the cold, in need
And begging for more like a drug addict, looking
Over my shoulder. I know you will never succeed
In making me feel that way ever again, hooking
And sinking me with dishonesty while escaping
The truth like the plague. I could not let you
Continue to be molding, forming and shaping
Me into that broken girl again because I have to
Believe in being something other than a rag doll.
I am not the one to kneel down to you and crawl.

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Elena

I was born and raised in the Bay Area. Growing up, I went to Berkeley public schools up until I left California to attend McDaniel College, located in Westminster, MD. I graduated from McDaniel College with a B.A. in Theatre Arts with a focus in Acting.

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