Category: Demi Lovato: Staying Strong 365 Days a Year

One Source of Inspiration: Demi Lovato

I know that I have talked about one of my personal heroes. In fact I think part of the reason why I started this blog was because of her. So if you have been following Messy Ties since day 1 you all know how I feel about her. At the time when I started this blog I also started to read her book Staying Strong: 365 Days a Year. It was a great book. I have also seen her in concert and it was by far one of my favorite concerts. It is also the first and only concert (so far) that I have seen solo. The one thing I really appreciate about Demi is being open and honest about her personal struggles. I also find her to be a more reliable role model than most girls in my generation. I did not have some of the same struggles as her, but at the same time I knew some of the stuff she has gone through. Just listening to her music is inspiring and can sometimes even be therapeutic.

I can go on and on about Demi, but I will let this poem speak for itself. This is for Demi, may you continue to be a source of inspiration not only for me, but for other girls and others who are struggling. You are amazing in every way whether you realize it or not. I will conclude with one quote by Demi. She says, “I have come to realize that just making yourself happy is most important. Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want, and to do what makes you happy. That’s my life motto.” So in other words, do what is best for yourself at the end of the day and you are allowed to feel whatever you want to feel. With Demi’s birthday right around the corner I thought it would be an appropiate time to post this. Happy (early) birthday Demi!! I will continue to be inspired by you every single day. P. S. The poem down below is for a competition I was a part of back in May/June called “Tortured Souls” and I ended up winning. This poem is for all the girls out there who continue to struggle. As Demi would say, you are not alone.

Photo from http://www.picslyrics.net/lyrics/demi-lovato-heart-attack.html?row_id=88437

To Demi – The Warrior Queen

Like a skyscraper that emerges from the dust
You come completely from the ground up.
The hurtful words and pain may dig into your
Skin like tattoos or scars, but never combust
Into smaller pieces, hoping you can be a cup
That is empty. Demi, you are constantly at war

With yourself in the hopes of being perfect like
Everyone else, wanting to be skinny and pretty,
But don’t you know you are perfect like a gem?
You may think you are down to your last strike
Of the game, longing for its close, but the city
Lights still shine for you. As you crave mayhem,

Alcohol and drugs in order to numb all the pain
Within your soul, I know the girl that desired to
Be loved again. You taught me to see the world
Through new eyes because through all the rain
Soaked windows there is the bright hope you
Prayed for every day and night. Your furled

Secrets and insecurities lay buried so no one
Can take them or use them against you. I see
You waiting in the shadows with smiles and
That are just a show or fake. You try to run
Away from the underlying truth. I would see
Parts of you in me. I wished to take your hand

And show you that you are only human, not
Superhuman. You tried to love yourself
And everyone else too like you have never
Been broken before, but you already forgot
You have been broken. You are compelled
To hide yourself so no one sees you as clever

Or kindhearted and no one sees your gentle
Or soft side. I see the girl with the warrior
Exterior and who holds in her tears so she is
Not seen as weak or vulnerable. Your mental
Capabilities of coping are slipping. A corridor
In your heart opens. I feel it rising and fizzing

To the surface. I feel our spirits connecting on
A level no one could pretend to comprehend.
We let all our past memories fade and be gone.
We both know that this will never be the end.

Being Thankful and Grateful

It is hard to believe that November is coming to an end (pretty soon I might add) and it is that time of year when we start to think about all the things we are grateful/thankful for (mostly because of Thanksgiving). Thanksgiving dates back a long time ago in our history when the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower, but I do not know the exact history. When I look up the definition of Thanksgiving in the dictionary, it defines Thanksgiving as “the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favors, especially to God” (dictionary.com). I personally do not think of Thanksgiving as a religious holiday (as someone who comes from a non-practicing and non-religious family although I am Catholic/Jewish). I just think of it as another holiday to celebrate with loved ones with lots of food and laughter.

Being thankful and grateful should never have to be religious (and it should not be forced upon anybody as such).  Even though I think about all the things I am thankful for (and trust me, I have a lot of things I should be thankful/grateful for), I also think about those who may not be as lucky (like those who are living on the streets or those who are alone without family and friends). The other part of Thanksgiving is the giving part. You can never do wrong by giving (and I know that is something I can work on it). As much as we want to complain/argue about the things we do not have, we should not have to focus on those things. It is all a part of being thankful/grateful for the things we already have. There is this quote I found (in the spirit of Thanksgiving that is coming up this week). “Give thanks with a grateful heart” (Thessalonians 5:6).

So I hope that all my readers have a wonderful Thanksgiving (no matter where you are or who you celebrate it with). I just want to take this moment to thank all of the people who have continuously supported me and for all the things I am lucky to have (like endless love from my family and friends), a roof over my head, laugher, clothing, and food to eat. I hope that everybody realizes that there is always something (no matter how big or small it might be) to be thankful/grateful for. Demi is the one who says that (although the quote is really said by Oprah Winfrey) “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” And in this poem I echo a key part from Maya Angelou’s “Phenomenal Woman.” P.S. I just want to give a special shout out to K (wherever this person is) because although we have had our ups and downs I am still truly grateful/thankful for having you in my life.  

A Taste of Freedom and Thankfulness

A phenomenal woman, words
Echoed by my hero, Maya Angelou.
Fly home free like the birds.

You are every color, shade and hue
Of the rainbow. Never let the rest
Of the world keep you sad and blue.

Be continuously thankful and blessed
For everything you could ever possess.
Love, family and friends. Drive out west

Where you can taste freedom and say yes.
See every sunset and count all of the stars.
Remember every soft touch and caress.

Live life and sit on the handlebars
Instead of sitting in the passenger seat.
Nobody would be pointing at your scars

From every scrape and bruise. Defeat
All the haters and all of the doubt.
Never let anybody or anything mistreat

You or your trust. You should shout
It out from the rooftops because that is
Who you are and what you are all about.

Having Patience

Yes, we all go through changes (look on my blog post about that topic if you do not believe me), but a lot of the time we go through major changes and it takes time/patience to get through those major changes. Demi puts it this way. “Have patience. Even the greatest changes in our lives to occur.” Having patience (especially a lot of it) is a life lesson we could (including myself) all use. To be honest, I struggle with having patience, especially with people and things I truly care about. I am sure that everybody has a similar story to the one I am about to tell. Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays growing up (in fact it still is). I would always get so excited and wake up early to open up my presents.

My patience also runs a little thin with people too. For example, there is this person I am dealing with (I will not name anybody specifically). Let us call this person K. I want to meet up with that person so badly, but it has not worked out and I have expressed my concern. This person told me to be patient with them. I am trying my best, but I told this person that they have to be patient with me (especially since I know that I am one of those people who loses their patience pretty easily most of the time). Patience in a sense is like what I call the waiting game… You have to be patient almost all the time. When you are waiting on the phone, waiting in traffic, waiting around for something to happen or for someone to show up, etc.

My point to all of this is the importance of having patience, waiting and not rushing into things. The automatic thing that we all do is to rush when there is no point in doing so. I found the perfect quote to tie it all together. “We often want it so badly that we ruin it before it begins. Over-thinking. Fantasizing. Imagining. Expecting. Worrying. Doubting. Just let it evolve naturally.” In other words, just let it all happen the way it is supposed to (no matter if it changes from your original plans). So in other words be patient with people because you never know what they have dealt with or what they are dealing with right now. They are trying to sort out their life and so are you. Whatever you do, do not lose hope or take your frustration out on people (who may or may not deserve it). In other words, hang in there and ride it out. You have to realize that some things (or people) are worth the wait and some are not. That is just the way it goes.

The Waiting Game

The seconds are ticking by,

Then the minutes, and

Then the hours go by.

Who am I waiting for?

What I am waiting for?

Am I waiting for you?

Am I waiting for me?

Am I waiting for us?

Confusion. Anger.

Chaos.  Sadness.

Happiness. Guilt.

What am I feeling?

What should I be feeing?

 

More Time

You are not trying to push me,
But all you are asking for is a little bit
Of patience. You wanted to see

If I could hang on. I do not want to slit
My wrists without knowing what
This feels like. This life will not sit

Down and take a rest. This cut
Of the thread that holds us together
Cannot break anymore. I know that

I cannot let you float away like a feather
Or sink down like a heavy rock. We promised
Ourselves to get through this bad weather

No matter what. If we cannot be honest
With one another then we cannot
Deserve and feel the calmness

Washing over us like a wave. This shot
To the heavens cannot destroy this
Inner turmoil and fire. You caught

My heart and will not let go. The bliss
In our eyes will not be let go of. I
Wish that I would never have to miss

Some of these moments, but I have to lie
To myself for a little bit in order to survive
Through the chaos of life. To cry

Over the situation we have to live
Through is hard, but as long as you
Promise me that we will make it and thrive

Everything should be okay. The two
Of us should be able to handle this united.
It has to be us that will push through

Every battle. This is our own lighted
Path filled with obstacles and challenges.
This is our endless support that is unrequited.

Different Perspective and Point of View

I know that I have talked about things from a woman’s point of view (because I am a woman), but I want to talk about something a little different here. Firstly, I wanted to share this quote by Oprah Winfrey (I found this quote in Demi’s book in her entry on July 13th). “So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.” I know that we have all fallen down and I know that I am included in that as well. What we have to do is to either see things from the ground up when we fall or to pick ourselves up. I know that we are more than capable of picking ourselves up, but I know that it be sometimes hard to do so. Sometimes it is harder to see things from the ground up.

One thing I have learned (especially writing this blog and my poetry) is to see things from a different perspective. I know I see things from being a white, single female, but maybe it is time to see things from a guy’s point of view or an older or a younger person’s point of view (and I have written from all of those points of view or at least I have tried to). There is nothing wrong with the women in this world, but I just feel like men get ignored and dissed (not always on purpose by the way). I thought it would be interesting to write things from a guy’s point of view because sometimes their point of view can be way different or they may not be so different after all. They may or may not want the same things as us. Point of views can be unusual and unique in a way.

So I want my readers to think about things from a different perspective because you never know what the other person might be thinking or feeling. What I am saying to be open and willing to interpretation. There is a book I read when I was in middle school, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” written by Harper Lee and there is this quote in there that we can all relate to (said by Scout’s dad, Atticus Finch). What he says is “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” If you have not read this book, I would highly recommend it. In the end, I hope that you all enjoy these poems written from a different point of view and to never judge someone because you may not really know them (ties hand in hand with my post about no judgements). There is so much we can learn from other people. Happy reading!! P.S. I thought I would showcase at least two different points of view.

Staying Away

It hurts to see that she still chooses

Me every time, no matter if I try to

Steer her in another direction

Towards someone who is more

Stable and can provide for her

More than I can. Someone who

Cannot hurt her like I can.

Someone who is more deserving

Of her than I am. She does not seem

To care or even notice any of it.

She is so stubborn. Does she

Not realize that I already have a

Reputation? I am already a

Heartbreaker. I am too bad for her

Maybe even too bad for someone

Who is too good like her. She is

Determined to save and change

Me for the better. I do not need any

Of that. What I want is for her

To steer clear away from me.

But she cannot stay away from me.

She is drawn to me like a magnet.

I know how fragile girls like her

Can be. They say that they are

Strong and that they can

Handle anything when I know that

They can break just like that

Into thousands of tiny pieces.

That is easier to deal with.

It is less complicated

And is not so messy. I do not want

Her to see just how messed

Up that I am. I do not want her

To realize how much time I am

A waste for her to deal with.

She could be out, having fun

For once yet she wants to

Draw out all of my pent up emotions

That I try to hide from her. It does not

Work. She can see right through

The façade, the tough exterior

To see the torment and anger

That I have. I want to deal with it

Without her around. I do not want

Her to try to make it all better.

She does not deserve someone

So broken, so damaged like me.

That is why I try to push her away.

All of that closeness is too

Much to deal with.

 

Burnt to the Ground

My eyes flash in terror

To only think that my home,

My town, so beloved and

So sacred. Growing up

And staying with my friends

As kids normally do. Only to

Get destroyed and burnt

Down. I only wish that I

Could call out to my momma,

My everything since poppa

Left us. I want her to take me

Up in her arms, to tell me how

To get rid of the monsters.

If only she, my savior of

Another could protect me now,

To tell me more of her stories

That help me sleep at night.

More of those monsters

Are coming, killing every

Last one of us, not caring

That we were children.

They come, running towards

Me. Their guns and other

Weapons, reflecting in the

Flames, already threatening

To burn down my home, my

Sense of protection. As they

Closer, they remind me of the

Monsters that used to scare me.

My heart starts to beat faster.

My legs want to move as far

Away as I can. But suddenly,

I hear the words of my momma

Telling me to not be afraid.

It’s time to stop fighting and to

Just let go. That’s what I did.

I let go because I know

Anywhere else would be better

Than this place. Better than

Going on living with pain,

With suffering, knowing that

I lost everything. I know that

I will be reunited with

My momma and the rest of

Those who died, watching

Those who survived, knowing

That those horrid people

Killing and taking away

Innocent lives will never be

Able to live a peaceful life.

They will forever be haunted

By the ghosts of the children,

Of the men and women who

Didn’t deserve to die.

Another P.S. In case if my readers cannot figure it out, the first poem (“Staying Away”) is from a guy’s point of view and the second one (“Burnt to the Ground”) was inspired when I went to a small town in France (it’s mostly ruins now) where a lot of kids were killed. Unfortunately many kids died in what is called the “Oradour-sur-Glane massacre” (I believe that’s the one I am talking about).  That is from the point of view of one of the kids (imaginary in my head) who died in that massacre.

Storms and Imperfections

Ever since I was a little girl, I have never been a huge fan of storms, especially thunder and lightning storms because they have always scared me. I still remember my parents would tell me how far away the thunder and lightning is by making us count. If it was further away, the higher I would be able to count. I still do not always like storms (especially if I am right in the midst of one), but I have come to tolerate them slightly more these days. Why am I talking about storms? And I know tons of people who like (as well as love) storms. What is there to not like about storms?

I will tell you why. Storms, in a sense, are like a symbol for life. No storm is perfect and beautiful, right? Sure, the end results are gorgeous and stunning, but during the storm it may not always look that way. Rain, snow, thunder, lightning, and whatever else you consider to be as a part of the storm do not look the prettiest. Sometimes people like standing in the rain, getting wet and I get that (I really do), but there is something amazing about when we can see the rain (and other parts of the storm from afar). I do not know about other people, but sometimes when a storm comes (literally or hypothetically), all I want to do is cuddle up with a good book or TV and let it pass. Sometimes it gets me into a bad mood and sometimes it gets me into a reflective mood. I guess that it all just depends on the storm because it could vary and sometimes drastically.

So I am going back to storms and what they represent. Storms in addition to representing life, also represent imperfections and flaws. There is this quote that I think sums this all up perfectly (no pun intended). “I’m beautifully broken, perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws. All together, I am a beautiful disaster.” I have always wanted to figure out who wrote this quote because it has seriously become one of my favorite quotes. This is totally coincidental, but in Demi’s book (in her June 28th entry) she says that “If you don’t love yourself for your flaws and imperfections, you can’t expect anyone else to either.” And I think that ties in perfectly with this theme of flaws and imperfections.

All in all, this has come to be a slightly longer post than what I originally intended, but I think this is an important discussion to have. Storms are amazing things because they teach us so much and mostly they teach us about ourselves. There is a little backstory to this poem that I am sharing in this post, but I will not get too much into detail about it because I want people to enjoy the poem. Just a side note that the title of the poem changed from “Beautiful Disaster” to “Against The Storm.” My hope is that people get this poem from a symbolic point of view. So, this goes out to all of my readers as a reminder that nothing is perfect and it is okay to go through life with constant storms. We all have flaws and imperfections and you know what? That is just fine and we are better that way. So happy reading!! P.S. Just a note that I decided to add another poem (it is an older one I wrote a while back ago) because I wanted to show two different moods. One is a bit a calmer and the other is a bit on the chaotic angry side.

Against The Storm

Darling, you are like a beautiful disaster.

You go on full speed ahead like a tornado.

You are not like the decay

 

That rots away. You have this glow

To you that never truly goes away.

I wish you would know

 

Your true potential. You have a magical sway

That has everybody under a trance.

You make us all want to stay.

 

You and I are in this endless dance

When neither one of us is willing to cave in.

I am willing to give this a chance

 

Only if you are ready for this dark ink

To settle in. It is starting to become permanent.

You are suddenly becoming too hard to ignore.

 

Baby, you could never become nonexistent.

I will remember you for a long time, even

After you blow on through. This is no stunt

 

To keep you around. Chasing and making me run

After you is useless. I know that you will

Not be coming back and then the sun

 

Will be gone. I could never get my full fill

Of you even if I tried. I am drawn to you.

Even when you will spill

 

Over I will try to catch you. I cannot undo

This hold you have over me. That I cannot

Change, but I do have the power to spew

 

The truth because it is all I got

When it comes down to us. You want to be free.

I know that you are afraid of this tangled knot

 

That has become apart of you and me.

You never wanted to stay long or linger.

You always wanted to flee

 

And run away. I do not know what is to come after

You, but I do not want to figure that out yet.

I am not done exploring you and finding the answer.

 

One thing I know is that I am never going to bet

Against you and the storm ever again.

I know there some reason why you and I met.

 

Nothing is ever a perfect score or a ten.

Nothing is ever set in stone with a pen.

 

Like a Storm

You are going to wish you had

A warning or at least a map

Because I am unpredictable.

I could come in and turn

Everything upside down.

I could just blow right on

Thorough this town.

I am danger without the warning.

I am the storm with

The wind howling

And everybody running

For cover. I am the chaos during

The storm. I am the reason why

You want to change states

And change names so I do not

Find you. You cannot escape me.

You will not escape from me.

I got the fire burning behind my

Eyes. The storm is coming.

The hurricane is coming right

Through my finger tips.

I cannot be tamed. I cannot be

Wished away. I will keep on

Coming back to you, wherever

You are. I am going to keep

You running and hiding.

You are going to constantly

Be looking over your shoulder.

You will not know where I might

End up going. You always said

I was a beautiful mess.

Someone who leaves your

Head spinning and leaves

You a little loopy. Someone who

Keeps you on the edge.

Now I am the ugly type of mess.

I am leaving a trail behind

So you know who I am.

I am leaving my mark on

You and everything that

You love. I am a storm

That everybody hears and

Knows about. You will never

Know what hit you. You will not

Recover before I hit you again.

I am a storm just

Waiting to happen.

Father’s Day

I am so lucky enough to have the parents that I do. I did a special post about my mom for Mother’s Day and I am going to do the same for my dad in this post. There are so many things that people (including myself) could say about my dad. He is kind, gentle, strong, patient, hard working, and the list can go on. I have had hardships in my life and I am truly grateful that my parents (especially my dad in this case) have been there for me in every step along the way. I am trying to take Demi’s advice. She says to “Thank your parents for giving you the gift of life and doing their best.” I have always tried to show my appreciation towards my parents for all that they have done.

I scoured the internet for the right quote and I came across this quote that describes what my dad means to me. “A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.” I never really thought about it in that way since very recently. I have realized I have many similarities with my mom, but I have also realized that I share many things in common with my dad. We both like sports (especially baseball) and we can talk sports all day long (it would probably drive my mom crazy). Anyways, I just want to take this moment to show appreciation towards my dad and to say thank you for all that he has done. Words cannot describe how much I love you.

There is so much more that I can say about you, but I will let this poem speak for itself. I also want to show my appreciation towards the other fathers and dads across this world. I know that we are not all lucky enough to have a dad to call their own, so I want to take this moment to remind my readers (and others) to show thanks towards people who have been like father figures in their lives, whether it is a mom who plays a dual role of both being a mother and father, or an adoptive dad, or a 2nd or 3rd dad (like I have). I hope you all enjoy your day because you deserve it as much as the moms and mothers across the world as well.

My Father

To my father, a person I am

Lucky enough

To call my own. He is my jokester

With a corny sense of humor.

He is my source

Of wisdom and guidance.

He is my protector.

He is my heart and soul.

He is my kindness

And softness.

He does not have any hard edges,

But he is gentle and intelligent.

I am his daughter, his world and

Someone who will

Always love him.

We share sports and

Other common ground.

Just like my mother,

We share endless

Love and light.

He does not care about

My physical beauty

Because in his eyes,

None of that matters.

He pays no attention to

My flaws or imperfections.

In his eyes, I am perfect just as

I am. He makes me want to

Set high standards for whomever

Is trying to take his place. He is

My source of strength

And resilience. He is my teacher,

For he has taught me about equality

For every skin color, for every race,

For every gender and for every

Social class in this world.

He has taught me about compassion

And that nothing in life comes easy.

We all need to work hard every day.

He sees the negative and the positive

In everything. I am going to always

Be his daughter and baby.

He is going to always be

My dad and father.

Girls, Women, and Ladies

They come in all shapes and forms. Whatever you want to call them… It all does not matter. I know that our country is founded upon “All men are created equal.” In this case I do not want to solely focus on the men. Although they are an important part of our lives, they are not the only important people in our lives. Men are praised for being strong and powerful, although in some cases they are criticized for not being “man” enough. What about the women all across this world? They are naturally portrayed as weak and vulnerable. Why cannot women be strong and powerful as well? And why is it that although it is the 21st century women are still being viewed as unequal to men. Women give birth to our children and still have to constantly fight to keep their rights. They get unequal pay, etc.

My whole point is that maybe it is time for women (including myself and other women I know) to put themselves first. I know that is one of the hardest things to do in this world, especially for those so used to taking care of others and putting themselves last. I have searched the internet for the right quote (trust me there are a lot) about putting yourself first and I came across this one (I also happened to find this on one of my friend’s Facebook pages, thanks in part to Caitlyn). “Happiness starts with you – not with your relationships, not with your job, not with your money, but with you.” In other words, it is all about your happiness and your life. In the end, it should never matter what other people think about you and the choices you make. Demi, my hero, talks about putting yourself first too. She says “Sometimes it is okay to be selfish. Being selfless all the time can be detrimental to your mind and body.” In other words, it is okay to be selfish every once and a while.  Give yourself permission to treat yourself with the respect and care that you deserve.

I wrote this poem for myself (I think of it as a short letter to myself), for I have been through a lot of things recently (I will not go too much into it all). This goes out to all the women both in my life and across the world. I am telling them (as well as myself) to never stop being who they are and that they should never let anybody else put them down. Just keep on being the amazing and strong women we all know we can be. This poem is for you!!

Putting Herself First

Just know that she always

Comes first, no matter if

She is struggling or trying

To make room for herself

To breathe. She is her

Own priority. In the past

She has cared too much

For other people and

What they think.

Now she is thinking for

Herself and what she

Needs to do to make

Herself happy. She has

Goals, dreams,

And ambitions. She will

Be mad and upset if

You or anybody else gets

In her way. She is a warrior

And goddess. She has this

Quiet yet strong power

And presence to who she is.

She is selfish only because

She deserves to care

For herself and because she

Has been let down before.

She has endless strength

Within her. She is her own

Walking life motto.

The People We Used to Be Vs. The People We Are Now

I know that I have talked about making changes. Here, I want to talk about that, but it is slightly different this time around. This time I am talking about people who change. I have been doing a lot of self reflection these days (I am not sure if it is because Demi talked about it in her book or that I have just been thinking about it a lot). One of the things I have been thinking about is how I have changed from the person I used to be to the person that I am now in the present moment. It does not matter if I have changed from a year ago, a month ago, even last week. The point is that I am noticing the changes in myself and I know that some people are probably noticing as well (although it should not matter because I have said before, it is about me not them). I have gone through things that have changed me as a person. I know some of those things can be characterized as “bad” or “negative,” but some of those things turned out to be good and positive.

I am making these changes on a constant basis (and I am still going through changes to this very day). I am turning from the person I used to be to the person that I am now. Other people are going through the same thing as well. In a sense, we are saying goodbye to the person we used to be and saying hello to the new us. That does not mean we should totally forget about the people we used to be (after all, they can still teach us valuable lessons). It just means we are improving to be better human beings. So do not let others judge you for the person you used to be (I am trying to do the same thing). Like I have said before, they do not always know the real you (they just think they do). I will also say (as a reminder) that if you do change, remember to make those changes for yourself and not for others.

This poem is written about myself (and the person I used to be), but I know that others can relate to this subject topic as well. Hang in there because I know that we have all had (or still have) bad days or darkness come into our lives. I have to admit that I have been through those dark and bad days (I am not spilling all my deep and dark secrets though because they are next to my heart). As Demi said in her book, celebrate and embrace those changes (she also says to reflect on how you have changed over the course of the year). I have always said (and I will say the same thing to others) that we are still living. I also remember someone saying to always put one foot in front of the other. This poem is for my readers and to remind them that we are not always the same person we used to be. Cheers!!

Who I Used To Be

I used to be a dreamer,

Thinking about the

Daunting future.

I used to wonder what it

Would be like to sleep with

The moon and the stars

Late at night. Do not tell them

My secrets, the ones I keep close.

They are the one I will have

Until I die. Do not tell them that

I keep things to myself as

I feel like nobody will believe me.

Do not tell them it feels like

I have seen better days.

All they see is the spring in

My steps and my voice full

Of merriment. They do not know

That it feels like I am drowning

In complete darkness. They do

Not need to know that I struggle

To let the light in. They do not

Need to know that I used to be

A seeker, who would go after

Everything and anything

That made me feel

Less alone in this world.

Do not tell them that I used

To be afraid of having nobody.

They do not need to know

That I used to hold on tight

And count until the breathing

Became easier. They do not

Need to know that I used to

Feel like I was suffocating.

All they need to know is that

I am trying to be a better person

Because of all of that. They should

Know that I am above all of that.

They should pay no attention to

The person I used to be before

Things were going good.

Present Moment and Being Good Enough

I know that I have talked about my mantra “You are good enough” (that I have talked about in one of my first posts on this blog). That mantra was supposed to be for myself, but I have been doing a lot of thinking and I have realized that other people (especially some people I know) need to hear it too. I hate when people think they are not deserving of other people and think that they are too damaged to be with other people (either as friends or something beyond). Demi talks about being in the present moment. What she is saying is that no matter what we have been through in the past, we have to be in the present moment and to enjoy it. It can go by quickly if we are not paying attention.

This goes to all of the people who think they are not good enough. I am going to quote Taylor Swift here for a moment (this is one of my favorite quotes of hers). This is from her “Clean” introduction speech (when she went out on tour). Swift says that “You are not your mistakes. You are not damaged goods or muddy from your failed explorations. You are not the opinion of someone who doesn’t know you.” I am not going to quote that whole speech because it is a bit lengthy, but I know people need to find and read it (seriously google it or something). That goes hand in hand with some of my previous posts (including the ones about making no assumptions and losing someone).

That all has prompted me to share this poem I wrote a little while ago. I am thinking about a particular person when I wrote this, but it is open to interpretation to anybody and anything. The last thing I can say (and it is in this poem too) is to keep your head up no matter what. Here you go.

Standing Up

I hate whoever tried

To hurt you. They do

Not deserve someone

Like you. It is because

Of them that you

Cannot see yourself

As someone who is

Good hearted and kind.

Do not be characterized

By your demons and past

That haunts you. Those will

Follow you around forever.

Do not let them keep you

From moving on and

For finding someone who

Will not try to hurt you.

Those people care for you

And will love you for who

You are now. They hear

And understand you.

They will shut off

The gossip and will not

Listen to those who

Do not know who

You truly are. You are better

And above the nonsense

People throw your way.

They do not know that

You have already been

Through both heaven

And hell several times.

You keep your chin up

And smile no matter what

People try to do to

Knock you down.

I would do anything to

See you happy and

To believe in yourself.

It is a beautiful thing

To be yourself and

Not care what others think.

Keep living on and

Keep standing up.

 

P.S. I thought I put this quote in this blog post, but looking back I realized that I did not. Here is a quote I wanted to share from Snoopy (as in Snoopy from “Peanuts”). Do not judge me, I love Snoopy because he has some wise words for not just me, but for all of us. Here you go. “Keep looking up… that’s the secret of life…”

No Assumptions and No Judgements

Hey everybody, I know that it has been a while. I am forever thankful for my parents for instilling in us (as children) valuable lessons and things to always remember. One of the things my parents have taught me (and I am sure most of your parents’ have talked to you about this too). That is to never judge or make assumptions about people. I  know it is hard to do that (especially if those people treat you bad). However if you really sit and think about it, people make judgments and assumptions about you too. What I am saying is that it goes both ways. So it should not matter about where we come from or what we look like or how we act. We all have bad days and sometimes because of that we treat other people (and ourselves) badly.

My point is to never judge anybody before you really get to know them. This goes out to all of the people who make assumptions and judgments about me because they do not know the real me. They think they do, but they do not know my story. I dislike people who think I am better than them just because I am white and come from a middle class family. So what? I do not try to judge other people because their story and background is different than mine. We all are on different paths and journeys in life. That is just the way it is. The last thing I want to do is to look down upon anybody. That is not my job. I have been thinking about this topic, partially because Demi talks about it in her book.

I am not saying that there are days where I do not do it, but I try my best. I just hope everybody else (including you, my readers) to do the same. This is my way of getting onto the same level as everybody else, including some of those people who treat me like I am something special all the time when I know I am not. I know that is a harsh thing to say but I am tired of people treating me like I am something that should not get broken when I know I am far from perfect. So thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson and for treating me like I actually mean something to you, but enough is enough. This is for you! Friends, ex lovers, current lovers and everybody else: you are never alone.

No Assumptions

You put me up high on

A pedestal so you cannot reach me

Like I am a delicate China doll

Or a valuable piece of art.

I wish you could see

It in your heart that we are

On the same level. Although

I may seem beautiful, amazing

And flawless I am not.

Just because I may

Come from a “privileged”

Background with everything

Provided for me like a roof

Over my head and food on

The table does not mean

I am not like you. Although

We have different skin colors

And different ways of living,

Deep down we are more similar

Than you realized. Although

You think highly of me and that

I’m too “good” for you to be

With you, then you are wrong.

It does not matter that you are

Working a minimum wage job.

I am trying to juggle

As I struggle just like you

To make it through life.

Although you may think my life

Is good, it is not always as grand

As you make it out to be.

You may say my parents are

Supportive and I am lucky to be

Living at home. It is not to say

I am spoiled or live in a mansion.

It is because it is hard

Living on my own

With no job. It is because

The rent is through the roof.

I am figuring out the rest

Of my life just like you.

Let us keep our promise

Of no judgment and let me

Decide for myself if I should

Be around. I am never the one

To judge and make assumptions,

So I hope that you do the same.