Category: Demi Lovato: Staying Strong 365 Days a Year

Broken Heart

Heartbreaks are about as messy as they come. Heartbreaks are never simple or easy. They are super complex and hard to understand sometimes. In Demi’s book for today’s entry she talks about heart break. Now, I know that we have all been through a heart break. It does not matter how big or small it is/was, it still hurts. However, whenever our heart gets broken it has taught us a thing or two. We all learn different things from heartbreak. Like I said before, getting heartbroken hurts, but it is also a time of healing and self reflection.

Demi points out that it can be caused either by someone or something. The goal for today’s entry is to “Think about someone or something that broke your heart and then think about how that made you change and grow for the better.” I am forever thankful for the people and things that broke my heart for many reasons. They have taught me to be a better person and taught me that it is okay to have high standards. They have also taught me to have my guard up and that it is okay to say no. I can go on and on about what else heartbreak has taught me, but that list will go on forever.

There are some important things to remember about heartbreak. The first thing is that no matter what happens, someone or something will get broken. I remember having a conversation with my mom and I have told her that I will never break anybody’s heart (I think we had this conversation after my first boyfriend broke up with me) and she turned to me and said “At some point you are going break someone’s heart.” I have looked back at that conversation and realized how true that turned out to be. The second thing to know about heartbreak is that no matter how much it hurts, you will come out of it on the other side. The third thing to know about heartbreak is that it is all about you. Even if you broke someone (or something) else’s heart.

Heartbreak can turn out to be a very traumatic process, so take as much time as you need after a heartbreaking situation. People can try to tell you how to get over a heartbreak, but until they have been through something just as tragic and sad, they do not know what it is like. I have to admit that heartbreak has definitely inspired me and my poetry writing. I am 24 years old and I have been through a lot of heartbreak over the years. This poem goes out to all of the people who have gotten their heart broken many times and have used it as a lesson learned. I know heartbreak can sometimes take us to a dark place, but we have shown time and time again how imperfect things can be sometimes.

Learning

Flawless and beautiful
I am not. I have cracks
And my love is not bountiful.
It comes in shades of blacks,
Grey and blue. It is so rare
And filled with gaping holes.
I will make a promise and swear
That the soles
Of my feet will stop
Digging through the dirt
And sand. I will mop
Up and avert
My eyes away from
The mess ups. I will start
To feel less glum
And my heart
Will be less dark.
The light will come in.
I will leave my mark
Behind. I will not forget my sin.
My mistakes will not be tossed away.
I will not get myself burned
Anymore. The pathway
Will lead to my lesson learned.

Changes

Hey everybody, I am back. Sorry… I have just been dealing with 101 million things on my plate these days. I wanted to talk about changes because I know we all have changes in our life, whether it is moving to a new place or going from one thing to another. Whatever that change is, it does not always have to be bad. Those changes could be big or they can be small. When I think of changes I think of something like transitions because changes and transitions are very similar to one another.

Demi says “Courage to change” in her book and that is so true. It does take courage to change because change, like everything else is sometimes very scary. When you make a change it can be exhilarating and makes you feel free. So go ahead and make changes. It does not matter if it is changing your hair, your style, your eating habits or moving to a new place to get a change of scenery, getting rid of people or having more people in your life. I do not want to dwell too much on the previous year (2015) too much because one of my mottos is to not dwell on the past. However, 2015 has brought me a lot of changes. Here is to hoping 2016 will do the same. Do not make those changes to be like someone else because you are unique and beautiful just the way you are. My poem points out that change is sometimes difficult, but it is worth it in the end. Just remember that too.

Changing Over Time

Sometimes people change

Slowly over time and

Other times they change

Right away in front of you.

You change too. When you

Look in the mirror and

Realize that you’re

Different too. You’re not

A little caterpillar, but

A butterfly spreading your

Wings and learning to fly.

You’ve developed and have

Made changed.

You’re a beautiful and

Majestic creature, but

The changes were often

Difficult and hard.

You make your own

Decisions and choices

In life.

Scars and Wounds

“I think scars are like battle wounds – beautiful in a way. They show what you’ve been through and how strong you are for coming out of it.” That quote comes from Demi’s book and entry about scars. If we really think about it, a lot of us do have scars. I know people automatically think of physical scars (like Demi talks a little bit about in her book), but they don’t always have to be physical. They can also be scars we can’t see and that are on the inside.

Demi is right about scars being beautiful. I know they may not always look or feel pretty because they may look ugly or whatnot. That doesn’t matter. What Demi is trying to say is that scars show that you survived and you made it through although someone/something tried to hurt you (even if that someone is yourself). You made it through the other side. I know it’s hard showing our scars to other people (especially to those we care about), but it’s worthwhile in the end because like I said before we almost all have some type of scar. It’s what unites us together. Some scars take longer to heal than others because they are inflicted so much deeper and sometimes it’s harder to forget the pain. That’s why scars are so personal and make us feel vulnerable. Every scar and story is different.

Demi points out that our scars have shaped us in some way (maybe as the person we’ve become today because of them). So here’s to everybody who has scars. Here’s a couple of poems I’ve written about this subject matter because I have scars too (probably not as drastic as what other people have). So here’s to everybody who has scars, whether they’re physical or deep down inside you. Scars should be seen in a better light and should not always have a negative stigma attached to them. Be proud of your scars because they have gotten you here.

Scars and Wounds

There are scars that are invisible

To the outside world like

Self-inflicted wounds and

Battle scars, but there are also

Scars that are below the skin

That are invisible to the rest

Of the world. I’m the only one

Who can see and feel them

Everyday. The invisible scars

Come to show that only I know

What I’ve been through.

The rest of the world doesn’t

Have to ask if I’m okay.

They don’t have to pretend

Like they can’t see the

Wounds and scars.

The wounds and scars don’t

Always heal, but they’re still

A part of the past. They made

Me stronger than whatever

Or whoever tried to hurt me.

So I should be proud that

I made it through and to remind

Myself that my story isn’t over.

 

Scars

They say you wouldn’t make it

And that you’ll die before

You get to the very top.

You’re still here, aren’t you?

And where are they?

They are still stuck at

The bottom and still can’t

Make it past the first step.

Although they’ve

Fought every day and

Have the scars on their skin

To prove it, they don’t

Know what it’s like to have

Ones on the inside where

They’re invisible. They have

The physical scars for

Everybody to see, but

What about the ones on the inside?

You can’t show them your scars

Because they don’t know what

It’s like. They think you’re lying

Because they can’t see anything.

It’s not about seeing the scars,

It’s about feeling them.

The scars on the outside will

Fade and heal, but the ones

On the inside are still there.

They are a reminder that

You’re fighting battles

Everyday just like everyone else.

Whether you fought something

Physical or emotional,

It doesn’t matter.

What matters is that

You survived and

Made it through life.

We’re all survivors.

Bullies and Haters

We have all dealt with bullies at some point in our lives and a lot of us still deal with them to this very day. I don’t think there’s any specific definition for bullies because they come in all shapes and forms. They’re the mean girls who make fun of you. They’re the ones who take your lunch money. They’re emotional and sometimes physically abusive. They appear, disappear and reappear again. Another word that I think that is associated with bully is the word or term “hater.” Taylor Swift most famously uses it in her song “Shake It Off.” It’s a term used in pop culture when people are hating on other people. Why are bullies and why do they do such mean things? Nobody knows for sure because they may have insecurities of their own or they just hate other people just because.

Whatever the reason is behind the bullying, we won’t know for sure. I’ve dealt with bullies myself. I got teased a lot because I was the “smart” girl. I got good grades and mostly stayed out of trouble. I was also teased for the way I looked. I always had curly hair and glasses. People used to call me names like Shaggy (from Scooby Doo) and Napoleon (in terms of the movie “Napoleon Dynamite” which was popular when I was in school). I know people meant that to be funny, but it still all hurt a lot. I tried to speak up but not a lot of people heard me. I was (and I still am) the quiet and shy girl. You may think to yourself that doesn’t sound too bad, what  I dealt with, and that’s true. I’m sure a lot of other people had it a lot worse than I did.

Some people might say that there’s nothing to be done to stop bullying. That may be true in some cases, but there’s almost always something to do about it in most cases. Sometimes it’s just as simple as speaking up. Sometimes it’s better saying something (to the bully or to a teacher or to a boss) than saying nothing at all. Demi talks about this in her book. I wish a lot more people spoke up about bullying incidents when I was in school (and I wish I did it more myself). It’s never too late. Bullies are weak and try to put you down to make them feel better about themselves. Don’t give them that power to do that.

Believe it or not, bullying is hurtful. As much as I’ve dealt with it in school, I’ve also dealt with it in the real world and in the theatre world. There are always people who think they’re better than you. They think they can push you around and get away with things, but don’t let them think that. Speak up for yourself and be an advocate. You should be saying enough is enough. On that thought, I’m sharing a poem in the hopes we can show those bullies and haters who’s boss. In the end, we should try to better than those bullies. You’re you (as Demi says). People either hate you or love you for who you are. So be you and be better than those who try to bring you down.

You’re You

Words are thrown at you like weapons.

They don’t always feel so pleasant.

They feel like deep cuts to the soul.

They can put you in a black hole.

You say nothing in the hopes that

It all goes away. You need to shut

It all out. They shouldn’t affect you.

You are meant to shine through

Everything and rise on top.

They will all just drop

And fade away. They aren’t going

Anywhere. You’re showing

Them you’re going places.

All of those faces

And bullies project their insecurities

Onto you. They are hypocrisies

And should swallow their own words

When you are flying towards

Something beyond what they thought.

Freedom and success is what you sought.

Don’t let those people put you in retreat.

Make your own heartbeat.

Make them realize you’re courageous.

You’re moving on up to achieve greatness.

The Past – Letting Go

The past… It’s a topic we all know and talk about on a daily basis. Demi talks about it and Mandy Hale (another one of my role models) talks about it. They talk about it in similar ways, which is to learn from the past and remember that you are where you need to be now.  I know I’m guilty talking about the past and I know a lot of people are too. There’s no need to be super guilty about talking about it. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. Talking about the past is like talking to an old friend or someone you just reconnected with recently. You may reminisce and catch up. It’s also like talking to someone new. You want to remember things in your childhood or good memories from school. However, there is a reason why it’s called the past. It has already happened and that’s where you need to leave it.

The past comes in many forms like previous jobs and previous experiences. Most of the time the past comes in the form in people and certain situations. In terms of people, there are past relationships with family, romantic partners, friends, and with other people you loved (or people who you were close with). In terms of certain situations, there are both good and bad things that happened. There are things that are good and there are things that happened that you want to completely forget about. Some people need to realize that certain people may not want to talk about their past because it was dark and/or not so good. That’s perfectly okay. The things you learn from your past are lessons learned. We all constantly make mistakes and that’s perfectly okay. You’re taking those mistakes/lessons and applying them as you move on in life. That moving on is to your present and future where you should be living. What I mean is that you should be living in the present but trying not to obsess too much about the past or future.

I know in this poem I’m posting down below talks about the past in terms of people, but this poem can be open to interpretation. Whether it has to do with people or things or whatever happened in your past, it doesn’t matter. All that I know is that we all have a past and that what connects us together. The past is sometimes painful, but it doesn’t always have to be. We have to take a look at our pasts, remembering both the good and the bad aspects.

In The Past

Take a breath

And let it go.

The past is in

The past.

The tears and

Sobs lodged

In the back

Of your throat

Don’t matter

Anymore.

They can’t hurt

You anymore.

They can’t bring

You down anymore.

They’re just people

And words that

Pretend to care.

That’s why they

Don’t change

And morph into

Something positive.

They stay negative

And bad. Ignore them.

That chapter is in

The past. All you

Can do is leave it all

In the past. Leave the

Baggage behind,

But never forget

What they have taught

You.

 

P.S. I wanted to add this quote, since I think it is relevant to this blog post. “Starting today, I need to forget what’s gone. Appreciate what still remains and look forward to what’s coming next.”

Control

As Demi points out in her book and it’s also something I’ve been thinking about too, we all have the need to be in control. I’m not sure if it’s something we crave just because or if there’s a deeper meaning behind this whole idea of control. When I think of the word  “control” I think of something as simple as when I’m watching TV with my parents and someone has “control” over the remote when we’re watching. We may argue over who has the remote, who controls the volume, and who controls the channel (or content). Another word for control might be domination or something a bit over the top. I know control is hard to give up sometimes, it’s like giving up your power. However, giving up control doesn’t make you weak. Whether you’re in control or not, it doesn’t matter. It’s okay to feel out of control because that’s how life goes. Life can’t always be planned and is always in constant change.

I know I’ve said it’s okay to give up that control. Sometimes you have to hand it over to other people or just let it go in general. However, sometimes you have to be very careful who you hand that control over to. There are some people who have your best interests at heart, but there are those who you shouldn’t give that control to. One thing to always remember is to never let anybody have control over your life. It’s called your life for a reason because it’s yours and nobody else’s. Plans go hand in hand with control. Plans change all the time and that’s also okay. I am still learning to let things go and let things happen the way they do. Here’s to letting go of some of our control and not all of it.

Control

We wish we could relinquish control

But we have the need to uphold

Our fear and to hold

On for dear life. Otherwise the panic

Will set in and we’ll feel the manic

In our bones. We need to look at the panoramic

View and get rid of the anxiety.

Otherwise we’ll just hang onto the ivy.

We have to be in touch with our psyche.

Some things are hard to predict

Like feelings which are hard to admit.

If we go down to the stripped

And raw soul we can let go

Of the life we planned. The flow

Will always shift to and fro.

We can never change that but we

Have the power to see

And believe

That things happen for a reason.

Control can be like demons,

They can leave you screaming

Inside your head. Sometimes

It’s just easier to cross those lines

And to say those goodbyes.

P.S. Here’s the revised version of the above poem, with a little help from one of my friends. It has the same title as before.

Relinquish fear and hold
on for dear life. Otherwise panic
sets in and we’ll feel
manic in our bones.

Look to the panoramic view.
Anxiety winds round
us like ivy.
Touch the inner psyche.

Danger hard to predict.
Insecurities hard to admit.
Reveal the stripped soul and let go.
Float with the changes of the flow.

Control the demons inside.
Cross those lines.
Do what’s right:
say goodbyes.

Upside Down Life

I’ve realized life doesn’t go always as planned. Some days are good and other days are bad. Life changes on a daily basis. Things could be going good and then life gets turned upside down. I know life is tough and bad things happen. Life is difficult. I know that we we all lose hope and faith sometimes. Sometimes life will turn right side up and sometimes it will stay sideways or upside down or can be all over the place. In retrospect, we could all use that hope and faith.

I wrote this when I was going through a bad situation. I wrote this when I was in a bad place, but I hope this serves as a sense of inspiration for people who are going through bad times and rough patches. I found a quote somewhere saying that “It may be stormy now, but it can’t rain forever.” So in other words, you can be in bad place now, but it can’t stay that way forever.

Although I won’t mention Demi directly, it all goes hand in hand with being your own best friend. Jobs come and go. People come and go. You can’t let those get you down. You’ve got to rise above it and get what you deserve. We all deserve happiness and love. That’s a given in life. Sometimes it takes time to get what we deserve, but you can’t give up! So I hope this poem lifts you up and reminds you to keep going on because it doesn’t matter what you did in the past. Being your own best friend means getting what you deserve in life. All that matters is that you learn and move on with your life. Enjoy!!

Happy

Life has its ups and downs.

Sometimes it throws us off

The edge and hoping we’ll live.

Sometime life hurts and

Makes us unhappy.

That’s why we leave things,

Places and people behind.

It’s not because

They’re completely bad

And awful. It’s because we

Keep on walking forward.

They teach us what we want

And don’t want in life.

We know there’s something

Better out there for us.

Doors keep opening

And closing. That’s

Why they’re revolving doors.

Life keeps going and we’re

Given new hope every day.

We deserve to be appreciated

And loved for what we bring to

The table. We don’t have time

For things that weigh us

Down and makes us feel

Unwanted. We don’t want to

Feel undervalued and

Under appreciated for

Things that are out of

Our control. We don’t have

Room in our lives for people

Only pointing out our weaknesses.

If it doesn’t serve us

Then we certainly don’t need it.

We need to be appreciated

And valued for being strong.

We are dedicated and hard

Working individuals who

Deserve chances. Life

Can’t knock us down.

We can only get back up

If we do. We deserve to

Be happy

Because happiness

Is the most important

Thing in life to have.

That and love. We deserve

Love too. We want to have

A lifetime of happiness and love.

Being Your Own Best Friend

I am lucky enough to have really amazing 2 best friends and other friends I’m really close to. They mean the world to me. However, one thing I have learned, especially going through school and bad times myself, is that no matter how many BFFs and good friends you have, it’s always important to be your own best friend. That is one thing Demi talks about and I think it’s very important to emphasize here. I made the decision to move across the country for college (still one of the best choices I’ve made). That meant leaving my BFF (we’ve been best friends since elementary school) and my other close friends I’ve made throughout my life at that point behind. It meant I had to make new friends and meant I had to start over again (of making friends). In between all of that I had to learn to be my own best friend because there I was, on my own and a little nervous.

The friends I made at McDaniel were (and are still) amazing!! All my friends up through college have been there for me. I think being your own best friend goes hand in hand with taking care of yourself, which means to stop chasing people and things that are no longer good for you. So I’m sorry for cutting some people out (that is a gift for myself). Taking care of yourself means taking care of your physical and mental health.

I have to admit that I’ve had many rough patches and have days where I felt like I couldn’t do anything. In those moments I am grateful for my friends and family but I am also grateful for myself. Additionally, I am thankful for pushing myself through those days and rough patches. More importantly it’s always about loving yourself no matter what, even on those days where you feel insecure and bad about yourself. This poem goes to all those people who ever feel they need self confidence and serves as a reminder to treat yourself as good as Demi says we should. This poem is self-explanatory, but think of it as a love letter to yourself (from a woman’s perspective).

Loving Yourself

Take a look into the mirror,

Really take a hard look.

Do you see her?

She’s an important person.

She’s you and she’s me.

For a moment,

Forget about being there

For other people.

You need to be there

For yourself.

People, they come

And go. They leave

And some of them

Never come back.

But there will be

One person with you

Every day and that’s

Yourself. You can be

The only one to pick

Yourself up when

You’re surrounded

By darkness.

She’ll see your

Worth and

Determination

Even when nobody

Else sees it.

She’ll be there

When you’re feeling

Ugly and alone.

She reminds you

To be good to yourself.

She gets you over

The pain and heartbreak.

She’s the one

To give you a pep talk.

She gets you over

The bumps in the road.

She’ll be there to

Remind you to breathe.

She helps you find yourself.

She’ll tell you to

Let it all go.

She’ll be the shoulder

To cry on. She’ll be the

One to crack a smile

Or a joke.

Don’t let her leave

You behind

And most importantly

Take care of her because

You need each other.

She’s much more

Than a part of you.

Don’t forget that.

She’s the mind,

The heart, soul

And the true essence

Of everything.

She’s fearless.

She’s unapologetic.

She’s tough. She’s

A fighter. She’s kind.

She’s gentle.

Give her love. She’s

The one who deserves it

Just as much as

Everybody else does.

Loving her and

Letting her live are

The best things

To do for her

And for yourself.

There, she’ll survive

And thrive.

She’ll bloom and

You’ll never

Regret anything.

She’s your best friend.

She’ll help you more

Than anything or

Anybody else.

P.S. It goes hand in hand with my theme of messy ties. As much as it’s important to have connections with other people, it is also important to have a (good) connection with ourselves. Like I said before (in a previous post) “love is all you need.”

“All You Need Is Love”

There’s a song title by the same name (by The Beatles) and Demi talks about it for today’s entry. Love isn’t always easy to come by and saying “I love you” to someone isn’t always easy to say. The closest thing I have to love is loving all those close to me. It starts with my parents (for whom I am forever grateful for) to my close family and friends. The list goes on and on. Demi says to show people and tell people that you love them. She goes on to say to bake them something or shout it from the roof tops or write them a letter. This is probably the closest thing to any of those things. The people who I love mean the world to me. They love me right back and always encourage me to keep going every day no matter what. In other words, I guess saying “I love you” is like saying thank you. I could never love anybody better than those people. The list goes on to my 2 BFFs (Marcia and BreAnna), my grandma, all my aunts and uncles, my cousins, my close friends (especially Katalin and Nancy), my other friends, and my extended family (those of you who aren’t blood related). I appreciate each and every one of you. I love you all so much! For today’s entry I don’t have a poem (sorry), but this for everybody!! This is my way of using my talents to show my love for you all.

Be Fearless

Demi talks about being fearless in one of her entries in her book and so does Taylor Swift in her album by the same name. Here’s a part of what Taylor says that’s in the album cover booklet: “To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death…” I think it’s up to us what to do about those fears, but that’s besides the point. We’re all scared, that’s just a part of life. That’s one thing I always try to strive to be, regardless of the situation or what happens in life.

I think that’s why I’m so drawn to theatre and performing arts, especially acting. First of all, people have always told me I’m fearless and bold because it takes courage to even try acting. My acting teachers that I’ve had always say to be fearless in the choices you make, both on and off stage (thanks Elizabeth). Nobody can make those choices for you, only you can. And secondly to perform in front of other people is being fearless.

Fearlessness goes hand in hand with being vulnerable. People told me I’m fearless for starting this blog. Other people say I’m fearless for writing and sharing my work with the world. That’s being fearless and vulnerable. I know that I can be fearless and vulnerable in many aspects of my life. However, one thing I’m trying to be more fearless and vulnerable about is expressing my feelings to other people. It’s about being honest and being open. When you’re vulnerable and fearless it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re willing to share and receive things that are sometimes deep down. It’s all about being strong in the end.

You can’t always hide things deep down where they’re bottled up. I found this quote that says that, “Sometimes you can hurt yourself more than anyone can hurt you just by keeping all your feelings hidden.” I think it’s better to have everything out in the open rather than keeping things hidden. I know it’s hard, but it’s worth a try. Feelings are as real and vulnerable as they come. Through this I am sharing things that are personal. 

Real Feelings

Feelings cannot be pushed

Away and shoved aside

Because feelings are real.

They aren’t to be judged

Or criticized. I can try to

Fight those feelings and

Pretend they don’t exist

Or I can show them

For people to see.

Don’t you feel them too?

It’s like putting your hand

Over my heart and hearing

It beat. You have control

Over it as much as I do.

It’s a rhythm that won’t stop

Until I take my last breath.

These feelings for you

Don’t and won’t go away.

They only grow stronger

With more connection

And force. It’s erupting

Like molten lava.

I hope you’re there to

Catch the spill overflowing.

Once it starts it can’t stop

Unless you’re willing to

Mop it all up and let it

All dry up.