Category: Mandy Hale

Being Yourself

I know that it is a topic that I have talked about in so many of my blog posts, but it deserves its own category and it is something that I will always continue to talk about since it is something that is very important to me. That would be being yourself. We are born into this world and I have to admit that sometimes it takes some time to figure out who you are. It also takes some time to figure out what you want to do. I remember a while back ago, I am pretty sure it was about a year ago, I was talking to this person who I know who said to me “You’re you.” I sat there and thought about it… I did not truly understand what this person meant. So in fact I asked them pretty much what that means. This person said “You’re you, but your personality is so much more.” In other words, you have to be yourself and your own person. You cannot lose your personality and what makes you who you are, especially to please other people. In fact, you should not be around those people if they cannot appreciate who you really are.

I am digging back into Mandy Hale, one of my many heroes, who says “Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.” What Mandy is saying is that we have to be ourselves and we have to let people see who we really are, even if we have imperfections we do want them to see. We all have quirks, imperfections and things that only make us unique. You cannot be anybody else because as Oscar Wilde says…”Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Live in your own skin and your own body. I encourage all of my readers to be themselves. It is truly the only person we can be. Enjoy the following poem.

Be Yourself

Live in your own body and skin.
Nobody can live the life you can.
It is your blessing and your sin.

You are always better than
Those who pretend to be
Someone else. Always ban

Negative flow. Fit your key
Into you own lock and open
It wide. You are not me

Or he or she. You are not a token
In someone else’s pocket. You
Are not the words spoken

By someone else. Be true
To the person you become.
Be flawed. Be one of the rare few

Who will always come from
A deeply rooted place.
Be full with life, not just some.

Always fill in, color and trace
Your own lines. Remember
That you have your own face.

Hanging On Vs. Letting Go

First of all, I want to talk about one of my new heroes, Mandy Hale (for a moment or two here). I highly recommend two of her books (both of which I have read). “I’ve Never Been to Vegas, but My Luggage Has: Mishaps and Miracles on the Road to Happily Ever After” and “The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go and Moving On.” Both of those books are witty and humorous at times, but they also made me cry. I want to focus more on her book about letting go and moving on because that is the theme of this post.

I used to date this guy and he was my first boyfriend. For the longest time ever, I hung onto a poem I wrote to him, pretty much declaring my feelings for him. When we broke up I hung onto that piece of paper because he wrote something on it. Part of does not know why I hung onto it for all of those years. I finally got the courage to tear it up and throw it away in the trash. It was my own way of finally moving on. I have talked about getting hung up on past and how we cannot be stuck there forever. It is important to remember things from the past, but at the same time it is important to move forward with our lives.

Letting go and moving on are a couple of things that are hard to do no matter what. Some friendships and relationships come to an end at some point because they simply are not the same any more. Some of them just come to an end and we do not always know why. We have all been there, where something comes to an end and we do not know what to do. We can try to hang onto those memories or we can try to move on with our lives. We have memories and mementos from that relationship, whether they are pictures or stuffed animals or letters.

Hale has a section in her book about what to do with all of those items once you have ended that relationship. She suggests to put those things away and deal with them at some other time when the hurt goes away. It is true, we all get hurt. I am sorry, but it just happens that way. It may hurt now, but that cannot last forever. Hale talks about this whole idea of “out of sight and out of mind.” It sounds a lot better in theory than it does in real life, but that motto is worth trying out. That whole idea inspired this poem that I am sharing.

Forgetting

Clinging and holding onto

Something until your hands

Start to hurt is no good.

You need to let some of

The memories and

Moments go. Do not let them

Have power over you and

What you hang onto.

You may want to set them

On fire or delete them from

Your phone or return or

Give them back, but that is

Not the right thing to do.

You can delete those messages

All you want. You can tear your

Love notes all you want, but

Do not throw away things that

Were parts of your relationship.

Although they hurt to look at

They mean a lot to you.

Put them away in boxes that

Go into your closet or under

Your bed or into your head

And heart. They may be

Forgotten, but they will be there

When the hurt lessens and when

You are more ready to deal

With it all. Some things are

Hard to forget.