I am not a super religious person, but sometimes I feel like I am a spiritual person. I still have faith. Some might say faith is when you believe in God, but it could also be defined as something you do not question. There are some days when we question that faith or when our faith is completely shaken. I think this quote by Marya Hornbacher explains a little bit of what I am talking about. She says “I do have faith. I don’t have faith that a God exists, nor do I have faith that one does not; I have absolute faith that I do not know, cannot know, am only human, am an infinitesimal creature packed onto a cramped planet crowed with seven billion bodies, and as many yearning hearts, and as many questioning minds.” So in other words, it does not matter if we truly believe in God or not because that is besides the point.
Some might say faith cannot be shaken, which can be true too! It is like what Jacob Needleman says. “Faith cannot be shaken, it is the result of being shaken.” So in other words it us ourselves that are being shaken, not our faith, but I could be wrong for the meaning behind that quote. My point is that sometimes there is an experience that shakes our faith to the very core. I am going to make this post on the shorter side so I will conclude by saying that do not let that experience make your faith disappear completely because faith and hope is a very important thing to hold onto. I strongly encourage my readers to do the same and to believe in their faith, religious or not. I will conclude with one last quote (author unknown) that says, “Faith. It’s all about believing. You don’t know how it will happen. But you know it will.” So faith is all about believing and sometimes you do not know why. Hold strong my readers because at the end of the day there is hope! Here is a poem to restore your faith.
When My Faith Was Shaken
It was when I looked love in the eye, but
I could not put my heart in it one hundred
Percent anymore. Love can put me in a rut
I could never get out of. It has plundered
Me and left me empty like a house with no
Foundation. I lost that faith when I walked
Away from one person I wanted to grow
Old with for eternity. I thought and talked
About him as if he was still here with me
Now. I lost that faith when I was going to
Lose a friendship I built from scratch. He
Could never see past the wall I would redo
And repaint a different color every day.
The faith I thought I felt within my bones
And was becoming a part of me like a ray
Of sunshine became heavy like the stones
Or rocks we kept in our collection. Love
Became the tea kettle on the back burner
And my dreams of beginning a family of
My own were nonexistent. I was a yearner
For stability and growth, but I could not
Do it anymore as seasons were changing
Frequently. I could not keep up. The knot
In my stomach and all the feelings ranging
From happiness to sadness to everything
In between were not going away anytime
Soon. I really tried to push myself and fling
Myself into whatever erased your grime
And smell off of me. I lost my faith once I
Pretended to be happy instead of being
Lonely and insecure in my skin. I would fly
Close to the sun as my faith was fleeing
The scene like a criminal. It left me to find
My way across the broken glass instead
Of staying through the night as my mind
Was always going elsewhere. In my head
My thoughts stopped looking for love and
Connections I could make with others
Because the truth is although my hand
Is open nothing else is. The blanket covers
Are safer than walking down the street on
Legs with broken faith and lots of mistrust
In love. I would rather have people gone
Rather than staying around to love or lust
After the girl with the broken and troubled
Heart. Doubts were shining or glistening.
My faith should have grown and doubled
In size, but my faith was only diminishing
As the days lingered. Sometimes love was
Just enough to get through the roughest
Of days, but my faith was shaken as flaws
Were fully exposed and even the toughest
Of smiles did nothing in a world with liars
And everyone who also pretended to hide
Behind their smiles. My faith, more like fire
Than water was burned into ash and died.
