Just giving everybody a heads up on this deeply personal and emotional post. Depression….Sadness….Anxiety….These are all things that we have dealt with at some point or another because we have gone through them ourselves or we know people who suffer from them or a combination of both. Sadness is something that is pretty much self explanatory, so I am going to leave that one alone for now. I do not think people realize how terrifying and draining these are. “Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hate socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything but then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.” You have these two conflicting emotions to deal with. I am not a complete expert on these subjects, but I have felt them at some point or another in my life because we are being honest here.
These are emotions and feelings that just take over. We cannot, for the most part, control what or how to feel in these situations. People have panic attacks and sometimes depression hits you at random times. You just have to ride out the waves and just realize they never go away completely. These go into the category of mental illnesses which are really serious. I highly encourage my readers to talk to a licensed professional if they or anybody they know has this illness, especially depression.
When it comes to this subject matter I hope people realize that they are not alone, myself included. Loving these people can be challenging, but have patience. They need as much help as they can get. The worst thing you can do is to tell them to get over it because the sad truth is that they cannot. Hang in there and do not forget to breathe, especially having anxiety. Never make fun of people who have mental illnesses ever and it is never something to be taken lightly. It is something that people have to deal with on a daily basis. Just know I am right there with you.
Letting Everything Take Over
What if I let the darkness take over and consume me?
Just for a moment the peace and quietness will take control
Over me. I can forget about my racing thoughts and I will see
That I am not that broken girl anymore. I will be whole
Again just for that frozen memory and time.
Every bit of sadness that washes over me stole
Every part of the happy girl I used to be. I cannot climb
To the top of the mountain anymore because I have lost
That battle. The demons have won. I feel every bit of grime
Stuck on me. It is like living in a nightmare and holocaust
Every day of my existence. I try to always follow
The crowd. I have been looked over and have been tossed
Away just because I always look happy. I am so hollow
And empty on the inside, but nobody ever wants to truly
See that. They cannot stand to see me wallow
I get asked “Are you okay?” I have to answer them coolly
That I am perfectly okay when we both know that everything
Is not below the surface. I have no sense of my natural beauty.