Tag: beyonce

Insecurities and Doubts

It is something that comes up a whole lot, whether we realize it or not. That would be insecurities and doubts. Maybe I was inspired by one of Beyoncé’s songs “Pretty Hurts” where she sings about “Pretty hurts/Shine the light on whatever’s worse/Perfection is the disease of a nation/Pretty hurts/Shine the light on whatever’s worse/Tryna fix something/But you can’t fix what you can’t see/It’s the soul that needs the surgery..” Girls and young woman are always taught that you need to be pretty because nothing else should matter. I am not taking away from the fact that boys do not have insecurities, but when you open a magazine who do you see? Female models, most of whom are skinny and thin. Sure, people tell you to also embrace your curves.

I am tired of hearing that girls should be pretty like a barbie dolls with the perfect hair, the right clothes and makeup. Girls and boys are getting different messages. It should be okay for females to be tomboys and for guys to feel like they should not “masculine.” In some of the lyrics of Colbie Caillat’s “Try” she sings “You don’t have to try so hard/You don’t have to, give it all away/You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up/You don’t have to change a single thing/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try/You don’t have to try…” Remember when I talked about being yourself? Well, it applies here too. Sometimes we try so hard to be someone else when we should be ourselves. Stop listening to those who think you are not pretty or beautiful or smart or dumb enough. In other words, stop paying attention to society. They, for the most part do not know what they are talking about.

Insecurities are all in your head because you create them based on what you hear. They are those voices in our head that are quiet but are loud enough for us to listen to. Here is a quote which says “Confidence is loud. Insecurities are loud.” In other words, try to have more confidence while trying to not have insecurity. I know that it is hard. Shut it up, whatever it takes because you should believe that you are simply good enough. Heck, you should surround yourself with people who think you are good enough as well. Insecurities for the most part are a part the negativity you should ignore and should not be a part of. I know there are tons of quotes about insecurity out there, but I will leave you with one that rings true for a lot of us. “Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities.” In other words, never let your insecurities hold you back from pursuing whatever it is that you want, including people/relationships you want, etc. It may also stop you from going after what you want.

I know that a lot of my insecurities come from the fact that I thought I was not like anybody else. I was never really a girly girl or cared too much about my appearance. Sometimes it did not help that I had a sister and friends who are beautiful. I stopped trying to compare myself to them a long time ago. Some insecurities also come from when I did theater/acting because I felt like I was never good enough compared to those who got the parts and are great actors/actresses. I was never one of those people who got the parts. I have to stop myself from those who have had years and years of experience acting. I am nothing like them. I am good at what I do in my own way. I want my readers to take the same lesson. Stop comparing yourself to others and remember that you are good enough. Insecurities should not be listened to. I know rejection sucks and it is one thing I am terrified of, but you have to realize that you did try. My final thought is to let go of insecurity or at least we should try to, no matter how hard it may be in the end. Here are two poems for you, my readers, to enjoy.

Silencing Insecurities

Never believe their twisted lies
Whenever you look into the mirrors
Because you want to be the girl who tries

To fight through it all. They are the killers
On the inside. You are pretty but
Are you strong enough for your pillars?

Do you have enough grit to get out of the rut?
You just have to keep digging through the dirt
To find the diamond. You may want to strut

Around, but sometimes being beautiful will hurt
With the shards of the broken glass down
Your throat. Being perfect does nothing to advert

From insecurity. You have the whole town
And world thinking you are a confident
Pageant queen while smiling when you frown

When you are alone. The devil is the occupant
Within your head that tells you that you are never
Going to be enough. Take every compliment

With pride and dignity. Get rid of and sever
Every voice that always says no instead of yes.
Darling, you have to be the one to pull that lever

And watch it all go down the drain. Bless
Every flaw and blemish. Do not hate your skin
Or think that you are a complete mess

Even on days when you do not feel thin
Enough because someone will love all of that.
Only then will you finally feel like you will win.

Stereotypical Girl

Lose the extra pound.
Try harder. Push harder.
Gain some more weight.
You look too skinny.
You look too fat.
Straighten your hair.
Embrace your natural
Hair. Wear contact lenses
Because that is what
Everyone else does.
Wear glasses, even if
They are fake and unreal.
You want to look smart.
Do not wear too much makeup,
Otherwise you will look like
A clown. Some is better
Than none. Get your nails
Done. Go shopping at the
Mall. Wear tight clothes.
Wear loose clothing.
Be proud of your natural
Looks. Do not get fooled
By the stereotypes thrown
Your way just because
You are a girl in this world.

Being Confident In Who You Are

Confidence, especially in who you are is a very and extremely important thing to have, especially as a woman in this society. People always tell us to be beautiful (because apparently that is how women are supposed to be), but being a woman is more than that. Confidence is being able to have full trust and belief (especially in oneself). We call that self-confidence and that is just as important. Lack of self-confidence is a whole another story. In other words, if you do not have self-confidence, that is no good. Being strong, confident, and working hard all go hand in hand.

Some people might say that having confidence can make you an ego maniac and arrogant (in fact, I think the word people might use in this instance is the b**** word). That is by the way not a nice word to use (at least in my books). In my mind there is nothing wrong with being overly confident (even in Demi’s song “Confident”, she asks “What’s wrong with being confident?) The answer to that question is absolutely nothing. I would rather be viewed as overly confident, rather than not having any confidence (trust me when I say that we can all work on our confidence). We should never have to worry if other people like us or not (it is not our responsibility to make them like us to begin with). This is the perfect moment to bring up a quote. “Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you’re better than everyone else, it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anybody else to begin with.” I know that I have talked about never comparing yourself to other people and that is almost exactly what the right confidence does (which is not being better than anybody else).

That is why I have good role models who are confident like Beyoncé and Demi Lovato. They really do not care who likes them. I think it is because they have so much confidence in themselves that they really stop caring about others (and that does not make them selfish). They are strong, confident, independent and hard working women. In fact, besides Demi, Beyoncé has written some pretty wonderful songs about that, including “Singe Ladies (Put a Ring On It).” I just recently got her “Lemonade” album (just a little while ago) and I absolutely love it. Sure, she put her marriage on blast, but she sings a lot about what it is like to being a strong, independent, and confident woman (especially as an African American woman). I like her songs such as “Freedom” (with Kendrick Lamar) and “Formation,” but one of my favorite is “Six Inch” (which has inspired this poem that I have included down below in this post). In this song (if you really listen to the lyrics) she talks about working hard for the money. One of my lines in this song is “Six inch heels, she walked in the club like nobody’s business/
Goddamn, she murdered everybody and I was her witness.”

I decided to channel my inner Beyoncé and wrote this poem because Beyoncé is so inspirational. It helped to channel my inner persona (almost like a diva or an ego kind of in a sense). When I posted this piece as a member of Deep Underground Poetry (a writing community), a person who commented on it brought up a quote (a good one that is now one of my favorites) by Anaïs Nin. She says “The first time he looked at her he felt: everything will burn.” So I hope that my readers (and everybody else) will channel their inner Beyoncé (or whoever they look up to) and having tons of self-confidence.

Working Hard

She can set everything on fire,
But she would never stop and take
Notice. She only feels her own desire

For success. She wants to make
Every man feel weak and powerless.
She is never the one who will fake

Her own confidence. She is the mess
And chaos. She is also the calm
And will never be the one to confess

Her sins to the greedy. Her palm
Faces up not to surrender, but to
Help those who need it. She is a bomb

In the making, never taking shit from you
Because she is built from the ground
Up. Do not run to her when you screw

And mess it all up because she is bound
To not care about your pathetic excuses.
She is death, quiet without making a sound.

She never apologizes for her bruises
Or ugly scars. You should be the one who
Is running scared. She chooses

To see her life from the top window and view
Without being selfish. She works hard for
The money. She sees past everything that blew

Up. She has made the choice to restore
Her own happiness, trust and faith.
I caution you to think extremely hard before

She comes to destroy you like a wraith.
She does not float in the light like a halo,
But she also refuses to forever bathe

In the darkness like a lost child with yellow
Hair like the sunlight. Watch out for the
Lava that is coming out of her like a volcano.