Tag: depression

Heartbreak, Depression, Anger And All That (Not) Good Stuff

I know that I have talked about some of these topics in the past so I am only going to skim over these topics once again since it is that time of year when people get into that kind of funk. If you combine heartbreak, depression, anger and all of that other stuff there is sure to be some sadness there too. It is something not necessarily good. I think that this quote sums it up a little bit. “Loneliness, trust issues, depression, suppressed anger. These are some symptoms given from heartbreak.” In other words there are symptoms that stem from heartbreak. It is like your heart is torn in two. There is something about those feelings and emotions that you will not trust. That is the scary thing about heartbreak, depression and anger. You cannot even trust yourself sometimes and you will not always like what you see in the mirror.

That is why I titled the poem “Never Again.” You have to keep saying no to situations and people who put you in those scenarios where you get heartbroken, depressed and angry. It is going to keep happening over and over again. It is the cycle of life. I may have said this before and I will say it again. If you ever feel heartbroken, depressed and angry in unhealthy doses seek help. Whether it is reaching out to a loved one or seeking professional help never be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I know I have been there before and that is why I always give that advice. SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY! And I cannot reiterate that enough. In a lot of cases it is better to seek help from a professional. A friend or loved one can certainly help but sometimes they are not equipped to help. Lots of love to everyone who is going through something that is making them heartbroken, depressed and angry. You will get to the other side of it all! Cheers!!

Never Again

I hope you remember that I was the one who stuck
By your side through all the rain and rough patches,
But when I was the one who was really in the muck

You just left me to sink to rock bottom. The matches
Burned out and you left me all alone in the darkness
With no way to see or claw my way out. The scratches

And bruises made me feel ugly. I felt lonely, heartless
And lashed out on people who were just trying to assist.
I used to believe in the stars and moon, but the starless

Nights taught me to never trust when I was in the midst
Of my storm just like I could never trust any of the love
That ran through my veins. I told myself I could not exist

In a world filled with fake love and every mourning dove
That would take my sorrows away. I buried everything
Deep so no one can touch one thing I should be proud of;

The endless love that is bottomless. I know I cannot bring
Myself to the table where I know I am the one who gets
Left behind. I could no longer be your toy or plaything

When you get bored and lonely. I am the one who quits
You like a bad habit. You are the extinguished cigarettes.

Depression/Sadness/Anxiety

Just giving everybody a heads up on this deeply personal and emotional post. Depression….Sadness….Anxiety….These are all things that we have dealt with at some point or another because we have gone through them ourselves or we know people who suffer from them or a combination of both. Sadness is something that is pretty much self explanatory, so I am going to leave that one alone for now. I do not think people realize how terrifying and draining these are. “Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hate socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything but then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.” You have these two conflicting emotions to deal with. I am not a complete expert on these subjects, but I have felt them at some point or another in my life because we are being honest here.

These are emotions and feelings that just take over. We cannot, for the most part, control what or how to feel in these situations. People have panic attacks and sometimes depression hits you at random times. You just have to ride out the waves and just realize they never go away completely. These go into the category of mental illnesses which are really serious. I highly encourage my readers to talk to a licensed professional if they or anybody they know has this illness, especially depression.

When it comes to this subject matter I hope people realize that they are not alone, myself included. Loving these people can be challenging, but have patience. They need as much help as they can get. The worst thing you can do is to tell them to get over it because the sad truth is that they cannot. Hang in there and do not forget to breathe, especially having anxiety. Never make fun of people who have mental illnesses ever and it is never something to be taken lightly. It is something that people have to deal with on a daily basis. Just know I am right there with you.

Letting Everything Take Over

What if I let the darkness take over and consume me?

Just for a moment the peace and quietness will take control

Over me. I can forget about my racing thoughts and I will see

 

That I am not that broken girl anymore. I will be whole

Again just for that frozen memory and time.

Every bit of sadness that washes over me stole

 

Every part of the happy girl I used to be. I cannot climb

To the top of the mountain anymore because I have lost

That battle. The demons have won. I feel every bit of grime

 

Stuck on me. It is like living in a nightmare and holocaust

Every day of my existence. I try to always follow

The crowd. I have been looked over and have been tossed

 

Away just because I always look happy. I am so hollow

And empty on the inside, but nobody ever wants to truly

See that. They cannot stand to see me wallow

 

I get asked “Are you okay?” I have to answer them coolly

That I am perfectly okay when we both know that everything

Is not below the surface. I have no sense of my natural beauty.