We all have obsessions as human beings in one way or another. Whether it’s perfection, money, fame, love or something else… sometimes we just have to live with this “obsession.” I feel like having an obsession could either be a great thing or something that is extremely bad. When you are passionate about something that could be seen as something good, otherwise I feel like it could be a habit that could turn into something horrible. Anyways, here is a quote about a good obsession from Billie Jean King. She says, “Obsession can sometimes be a good thing! No one changes the world who isn’t obsessed.” On the other side we have some situations in which obsession can be a bad thing, which leads me to another quote. Norman Mailer says, “Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer.” So in other words, obsession can leave you with more questions than answers. A lot of the time that feeling is horrible and can leave you empty.
Sometimes as women especially we are taught to be obsessed with perfection and looking beautiful as we see all of that within the beauty industry. We are also taught to be looking for love from someone else. We are teaching girls all about that and that is the WRONG kind of obsession because outer beauty does not matter as much as our inner beauty. Yes, appearance does matter, especially in professional settings such as when she works, but we should not teach little girls to become beauty queens. That is an obsession that can be carried around for a lifetime. It is something that is forever ingrained. Instead we should be teaching girls and women to be comfortable in who they are. That leads me to my next quote by Sandra Cisneros. She says, “I am obsessed with becoming a woman comfortable in her own skin.” That is an obsession we should be touching everyone, man and woman.
It could lead to something bad later down the road. That brings me to my next quote. Greg Carlisle says, “Anything that inspires addiction or obsession – substances, entertainment, beauty, secrecy – is dangerous in that it can lead to isolation, self-absorption, and disconnection, to paralyzed stasis: an immobility that gathers like a force.” Like I said the wrong kind of obsession can lead to bad habits. I want to end this post by saying obsessions are obsessions. They are things that are deeply ingrained. I have included two poems down below. The second one is a visual poem titled “Obsession with Perfection – Visual Poetry.” I hope my readers enjoy these poems!! Sorry if my post feels like its rambling on and all over the place. There is so much to be talked about in this subject.
Little Obsessions
She was still a little girl who carried her insecurities around like a blanket
And was always obsessed with finding perfection all around her because
She could not find any perfection within herself. She already had cut
Herself too deeply to care if she was still bleeding. She knew the cause
Of her pain, but it was another one of her obsessions to keep it all to
Herself until she was drowning and completely submerged. Her flaws
Are like track marks and a road map on her body, beautiful but not new
To her. I know she tries hard to forget the inflicting words she has heard
Her whole life. Parts of herself that she keeps to herself. When you
Love someone like her, I promise you that she will mean every word
Because for her they come directly from her heart. Her obsession
With words never diminishes because she wants to be a free bird.
When I was in college I took an interesting class my senior year. It was Nature Writing. One of the writers we talked about and read in that class was Wendell Berry. I always try to broaden my horizons when it comes to reading and following an author/poet’s work. Wendell Berry is one of those people for me. He and Mary Oliver are similar in some ways because they both bring nature into their work. I feel Oliver’s is simplistic in some ways and Berry’s work is slightly more complex. Anyways, one of Berry’s pieces/poems that I came across was “The Country of Marriage.” I am including the text from that poem down below.
I. I dream of you walking at night along the streams of the country of my birth, warm blooms and the nightsongs of birds opening around you as you walk. You are holding in your body the dark seed of my sleep. II. This comes after silence. Was it something I said that bound me to you, some mere promise or, worse, the fear of loneliness and death? A man lost in the woods in the dark, I stood still and said nothing. And then there rose in me, like the earth’s empowering brew rising in root and branch, the words of a dream of you I did not know I had dreamed. I was a wanderer who feels the solace of his native land under his feet again and moving in his blood. I went on, blind and faithful. Where I stepped my track was there to steady me. It was no abyss that lay before me, but only the level ground. III. Sometimes our life reminds me of a forest in which there is a graceful clearing and in that opening a house, an orchard and garden, comfortable shades, and flowers red and yellow in the sun, a pattern made in the light for the light to return to. The forest is mostly dark, its ways to be made anew day after day, the dark richer than the light and more blessed, provided we stay brave enough to keep on going in. IV. How many times have I come to you out of my head with joy, if ever a man was, for to approach you I have given up the light and all directions. I come to you lost, wholly trusting as a man who goes into the forest unarmed. It is as though I descend slowly earthward out of the air. I rest in peace in you, when I arrive at last. V. Our bond is no little economy based on the exchange of my love and work for yours, so much for so much of an expendable fund. We don’t know what its limits are– that puts us in the dark. We are more together than we know, how else could we keep on discovering we are more together than we thought? You are the known way leading always to the unknown, and you are the known place to which the unknown is always leading me back. More blessed in you than I know, I possess nothing worthy to give you, nothing not belittled by my saying that I possess it. Even an hour of love is a moral predicament, a blessing a man may be hard up to be worthy of. He can only accept it, as a plant accepts from all the bounty of the light enough to live, and then accepts the dark, passing unencumbered back to the earth, as I have fallen tine and again from the great strength of my desire, helpless, into your arms. VI. What I am learning to give you is my death to set you free of me, and me from myself into the dark and the new light. Like the water of a deep stream, love is always too much. We did not make it. Though we drink till we burst we cannot have it all, or want it all. In its abundance it survives our thirst. In the evening we come down to the shore to drink our fill, and sleep, while it flows through the regions of the dark. It does not hold us, except we keep returning to its rich waters thirsty. We enter, willing to die, into the commonwealth of its joy. VII. I give you what is unbounded, passing from dark to dark, containing darkness: a night of rain, an early morning. I give you the life I have let live for the love of you: a clump of orange-blooming weeds beside the road, the young orchard waiting in the snow, our own life that we have planted in the ground, as I have planted mine in you. I give you my love for all beautiful and honest women that you gather to yourself again and again, and satisfy–and this poem, no more mine than any man’s who has loved a woman.
Anyways, it is a beautiful poem. I never really read any of Berry’s poems until recently because of a competition on DUP. My poem was runner up, but first let me just reiterate my point of Berry’s connection to nature like in the poem I just included above. He ties it all together and makes the connection between nature and marriage. I could go on and on, but I think I will let that poem speak for itself. I will conclude by bringing up a quote I think goes along with what this post talks about. Berry says “The earth is what we all have in common.” In other words the one thing that connects us together is our earth and that itself says so much.
There are so many other quotes I found, especially by Berry. I will bring two more quotes to the forefront. Nature is very important to our existence. Berry says, “Whether our politicians know it or not, Nature is party to all our deals and decisions, and she has more votes, a longer memory, and a sterner sense of justice that we do.” That is one of the other things we talked about in that Nature Writing class. Social/Environmental Justice and how important our environment is. It is the deciding factor in a lot of things.
I know I have brought this up before, but we must care for this earth. Berry says, “The care of the Earth is our most ancient and most worthy, and after all our most pleasing responsibility. To cherish what remains of it and to foster its renewal is our only hope.” Enjoy the poem down below and go out to enjoy nature, something that is around us every day. It is meant to be enjoyed and cherished as it is. There is a picture I included in additional to the poem.
The Promise of Marriage (Wendell Berry Tribute)
I dreamt of you walking towards me As you leave the shadows behind and The lights within your soul are brighter. I want to meet you alongside the river’s Edge – my sanctuary and where I see Us building our first home. My hand Wants to touch your skin – an igniter, A spark and something that delivers
Its promise of protecting us. I was just A wanderer, lost and unsure of where I was going next, but then you came Wearing your heart on your sleeve. Your willing heart craved wanderlust Too. You are a woman with long hair, A smile that goes with it and a name Beautiful as a dove’s call. The leaves
On the tree become greener as you Approach and meet me down the aisle. There I vow to shield you as you did It countless times, even when I was Undeserving and with the clear blue Sky above our heads I love every smile Along with the tears that already slid Down your soft face. We take a pause
To take it all in, enjoying all the early Mornings and late evenings. We laid Our love at the Earth’s feet. We look as Fall, winter, spring and summer change, But our love that sometimes turns curly Stays the same. Are we what we prayed For? We have love that is raw like topaz People dig for and is a mountain range.
I just recently posted a poem I wrote for a competition called “6 Years Ago Today…” on DUP. I ended up winning, but that is besides the point. One of the first people I met and connected with from the very beginning of my time on DUP was Ahavati. She is someone I have looked up to and is in a sense someone I would consider as a mentor. She commented on my piece and she said the following. ” This is classic Elena laced with open honesty. Good to see you posting again! Despite our future obstacles, it’s amazing how much we see we’ve grown when we look back. It really provides perspective.” Her comment led me to think about how far I came and this poem/competition gave me a chance to self-reflect. And it is true, I have come a far way despite the challenges and obstacles. That comment led me to think about this topic of self-reflection.
As I thought about 6 years ago, which was 2013 for me, it was a time when I was in my last year of college and it was a time when I was still trying to find myself in this crazy world. I did not know what the hell I wanted to do. I thought I wanted to do theatre since that is one of the things I really love. Although I am not doing much theatre now, a part of me still loves it and misses it. That is besides the point too. I feel like self-reflection is a must or an essential tool to use to get through life. I love this quote that I found about that very idea. “Self-reflection is necessary to dig beneath our own layers and visit the inner crevices of our heart and mind to develop an understanding of life.” What I must add to that quote is that self-reflection is also a way to develop an understanding of ourselves. It ties it to our past and how to create a better future for ourselves.
I feel like self-reflection is a way to tie our pasts to our now and future. Self-reflection is used in any parts of our lives, but is most definitely used after a relationship’s breakup and/or after a job’s end. That reminds me of a quote I found by Robert L. Rosen who says, “Self-reflection entails asking yourself questions about your values, assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about your perceptions and interactions with others, and imagining where you want to take your life in the future.” I feel like that is why we learn so much after relationships and jobs end. We take what we like and leave behind what we do not like. Everything in life is a learning experience and we learn more about ourselves, as well as where that takes us in the future. Those are the two pivotal moments in which self-reflection is used most.
I thought I would talk about self-reflection since we are now more than half way through the year and it is a great time to see how far we come. I will leave you all with one more quote by Paul TP Wong who says, “Time spent in self-reflection is never wasted – it is an intimate date with yourself.” Like I said before, it is a way to get to know yourself and it never is a waste of time. Anyways, I encourage my readers to self-reflect and really see how far we have all come. We learn so much and gain so much perspective when we look back. Here is my poem I was talking about earlier. I hope everyone enjoys it!!
6 Years Ago
Six years ago, I was just someone Who was trying to find her place In this world filled with chaos and Uncertainty everywhere she went.
Back then I was trying to outrun My old demons and tried to face That I might not be able to stand On my feet. Everything was bent,
Twisted and all out of shape back Then. My friendships were tested And we all made memories along The way. There were some days in
Which I thought I would be off track Or lost forever. My lungs, congested With yelling, laughter and my song Made me comfortable in my skin.
I have been a huge fan of Dr. Seuss from the time I was a kid until now. Yes, his work is full of silly rhymes and childlike things, but his work is very meaningful, even in today’s world. I loved a lot of his books like “Green Eggs and Ham,” but one of my favorites is “Oh, the Places You’ll Go” and in fact, I got that book as a graduation present from my parents. No matter what age you read that book at it is still a great book to have in your collection. And here is an excerpt from that book.
Congratulations! Today is your day. You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!
You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go.
I wanted to keep this post short, but I also wanted to show my appreciation for Dr. Seuss. So here is a piece I wrote and I got first place for it on my favorite site DUP, which I have talked about before. Here it is and happy reading!! And thank you Dr. Seuss for being such a huge inspiration! Happy birthday to you.
All the Places You’ll Go! (A Take on Dr. Seuss)
You are traveling to cities and meeting new faces. You are exploring every new culture and lose traces Of your previous life. You find new people to fall In love with and you will have stories to tell. The wall Will be crumbling and is falling at your awaiting feet. There are many snow-capped mountains you can defeat.
You conquer anything. Oh, the places you’ll go! And Yes, you will be on your merry way to stand Tall against the naysayer’s nonsense. You have smarts Locked in that big brain of yours and have many hearts Made of gold beating in your thick-skinned chest. You choose all you want to be different than the rest.
Oh, the places you’ll go! Memories made among stars And between blades of grass. Your imperfect scars You forget about as you closed your eyes and this world Takes you to a different galaxy. The thoughts that uncurl And you stand there fully transfixed. You will arrive At your destination with unmeasured breaths. You drive
Down the west coast with the wind in your hair. Oh, The places you’ll go! Life is like a fireworks show Because all you can do is sit back and enjoy it before It passes you by. You will be watching a new door That opens and see sights from a bird eye’s view. Tears sprouting from your eyes helped you as you grew.
Remember the smiles and every time you got splattered Messes on your clothes. You thought you never mattered Or would make it, but there you are saying to yourself… Oh, the places you’ll go! Your love stays on the high shelf And someone will be lucky to get it one day, but you walk Your streets. You are like Mary, but ahead of her flock.
I am going to do things a little different because this post is going to be a little bit different. This post is inspired by a competition I took part in on DUP and I won this particular competition just recently. The host of this competition took an excerpt from Theodore Roosevelt’s “Citizenship In A Republic” speech which was delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France on April 23, 1910. It goes like this… “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” So I took some inspiration from that and wrote a poem based on my interpretation of that speech. Here you go. Cheers!!
Still In the Arena
The glory that is smeared all over my blade like blood.
The crowd may laugh and point at me because I got dirt
On my face, but they duck for cover as they hear the thud
Of feet heading their way. They are all cowards as I hurt,
Stumble, and feel the pain, but I still stay upright. My
Enemy is not the one with sweat all over his torn shirt.
I am the one who is still staying in the arena, eye to eye
With my fears and doubts all on display, but I am not
Scared of failure. I am not terrified of those tears I cry
As they splatter because I made it through every knot.
I survived as everyone around me whispered and crude
Remarks kept coming my way. Every battle that I fought
Was not for the applause or for the ones who screwed
Me over, but for the one who has shown up day after day
And was ready for every fight, me. My hope was renewed
And my faith was stronger than ever before. Every ray
Of sunshine could never shine too bright and the rain
Could never keep me inside. The rocks that try to weigh
Me down feel weightless as feathers and the windowpane
Has no beauty compared to what is happening in the arena.
I am the last one standing and I have gone against the grain.