Tag: growth

Self-Reflection

I just recently posted a poem I wrote for a competition called “6 Years Ago Today…” on DUP. I ended up winning, but that is besides the point. One of the first people I met and connected with from the very beginning of my time on DUP was Ahavati. She is someone I have looked up to and is in a sense someone I would consider as a mentor. She commented on my piece and she said the following. ” This is classic Elena laced with open honesty. Good to see you posting again!  Despite our future obstacles, it’s amazing how much we see we’ve grown when we look back.  It really provides perspective.” Her comment led me to think about how far I came and this poem/competition gave me a chance to self-reflect. And it is true, I have come a far way despite the challenges and obstacles. That comment led me to think about this topic of self-reflection.

As I thought about 6 years ago, which was 2013 for me, it was a time when I was in my last year of college and it was a time when I was still trying to find myself in this crazy world. I did not know what the hell I wanted to do. I thought I wanted to do theatre since that is one of the things I really love. Although I am not doing much theatre now, a part of me still loves it and misses it. That is besides the point too. I feel like self-reflection is a must or an essential tool to use to get through life. I love this quote that I found about that very idea. “Self-reflection is necessary to dig beneath our own layers and visit the inner crevices of our heart and mind to develop an understanding of life.” What I must add to that quote is that self-reflection is also a way to develop an understanding of ourselves. It ties it to our past and how to create a better future for ourselves.

I feel like self-reflection is a way to tie our pasts to our now and future. Self-reflection is used in any parts of our lives, but is most definitely used after a relationship’s breakup and/or after a job’s end. That reminds me of a quote I found by Robert L. Rosen who says, “Self-reflection entails asking yourself questions about your values, assessing your strengths and failures, thinking about your perceptions and interactions with others, and imagining where you want to take your life in the future.” I feel like that is why we learn so much after relationships and jobs end. We take what we like and leave behind what we do not like. Everything in life is a learning experience and we learn more about ourselves, as well as where that takes us in the future. Those are the two pivotal moments in which self-reflection is used most.

I thought I would talk about self-reflection since we are now more than half way through the year and it is a great time to see how far we come. I will leave you all with one more quote by Paul TP Wong who says, “Time spent in self-reflection is never wasted – it is an intimate date with yourself.” Like I said before, it is a way to get to know yourself and it never is a waste of time. Anyways, I encourage my readers to self-reflect and really see how far we have all come. We learn so much and gain so much perspective when we look back. Here is my poem I was talking about earlier. I hope everyone enjoys it!!

6 Years Ago

Six years ago, I was just someone
Who was trying to find her place
In this world filled with chaos and
Uncertainty everywhere she went.

Back then I was trying to outrun
My old demons and tried to face
That I might not be able to stand
On my feet. Everything was bent,

Twisted and all out of shape back
Then. My friendships were tested
And we all made memories along
The way. There were some days in

Which I thought I would be off track
Or lost forever. My lungs, congested
With yelling, laughter and my song
Made me comfortable in my skin.

Growth

As this year and 2018 comes to an end I want talk about something important. I know that I have talked about something similar in my post “Growing Up,” but as much as the subjects are close similar they are different. We all experience growth at some point, right? Growth is not always sunshine and rainbows because sometimes growth can be just downright painful. It is not just growth, but personal growth. “Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere we don’t belong.” Yes, things in life are painful as I said, but nothing is worse than staying somewhere you do not belong. That is why growth is so important.

Growth is something that is not easy because it can be downright scary and it sometimes take a lot of reflection. You have to think for yourself, especially for something like personal growth. There is this quote I found that is essential to personal growth. “Sometimes personal growth is going to cost you friends, relationships, jobs and material things. Don’t ever stop growing or put your dreams and aspirations on hold in order to keep people and things in your life. It’s not selfish to put yourself and your happiness first, keep growing.” In other words, you cannot let certain people or things keep you from growing and that is especially important, especially in a relationship. I think a part of being in a relationship is growing and building together. That is one piece of advice my mom gave me at one point. She pretty much said you cannot be with someone if they do not help you grow and flourish. If it means cutting off those certain people or things and walking away, so be it. Which is pretty much similar to another quote I have come to love. “The woman you’re becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces and material things. Choose her over everything.” That quote is a lot like the one I already posted. It is pretty much saying to choose the woman and person you are becoming over everything else.

All that being said… I just want to say that 2018 has been a year of growth. I had to walk away from at least a few situations that were not the best ones to be in and I learned so much. That is another thing about growth… you can definitely learn something from it and it is a process. Here is another quote. “Growth is a process. You gain, you lose, you cry, you grow, you learn, you try, you fail, but you keep trying.” I feel like if you are not growing you are not learning and vice versa. So here is to my readers and my last post of 2018. May you never be afraid of growth because it is just simply another part of life. The good thing is that growth helps you mature and find better things out there. You truly never stop growing or learning. Happy (early) New Year and 2019!! May you all have a happy and healthy start to the new year. And since it is the end of another year I am going to include another quote to end the year on a good note. “If you know me based on who I was a year ago, you don’t know me at all. My growth game is strong. Allow me to reintroduce myself.” Cheers and enjoy these two poems. The other poem is what I resolve to do in 2019 and the new year. Happy reading!!

When Thing Grow – A Villanelle

Make room for things to grow
And mend in your heart cavity.
You have to plant and sow

Your roots. You always know
To stand tall, letting gravity
Make room for things to grow

Into a garden. No sign of a crow,
Signaling your end of depravity.
You have to plant and sow

All of your seeds. You show
Your speed and concavity.
Make room for things to grow

And twist into balls of dough,
With elasticity of your morality.
You have to plant and sow

For everything that will glow
And shine like your reality.
Make room for things to grow.
You have to plant and sow.

2019 New Year’s Resolutions

With 2019 just around the corner I resolve to be loving myself
And be selfish because my love for others is on the high shelf,
Just out of reach. I resolve to be kind to my mind, body and
Gentle soul. I resolve to be patient because I fully understand
That time is precious. I resolve to live every day to the fullest
With sunshine and laughter. I resolve to never let the dullest
Of moments fade away into nothingness. I resolve to let all
The bad memories go and to hang onto the good ones. I fall
But then to get back up and keep going. Life is a battlefield
And I resolve to walk through the fire. I resolve to be healed.

Growing Up

Growing up…something that is terrifying to think about because when we used to be kids we wanted to be a grown up and when you grow up all you want to do is to be a kid again. For some reason it just happens that way because sometimes we want the opposite. However, some of us can still try to be kids on the inside. There is a quote I want to throw in here, which is super deep and meaningful by the way. “Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero? Race issues were who ran the fastest, war was only a card game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and good byes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up.” Sometimes we don’t have to grow up that quickly. Anyways, there are certain situations and things we go through that make us grow up, sometimes rather quickly. For me that situation came when I applied for college and decided to attend college outside of California. People took one look at me and thought I was crazy, but also courageous. I made that decision because I was ready for change and that is a part of growing up. Sometimes as we grow up we are ready for different things, places and people. That is also a part of growing up.

During those days of college I learned a lot about myself and was for the most part, able to make my own decisions. I made the choices who I made friends with, what classes I took, etc. I was learning how to be financially stable which is still a struggle, but I am learning. A lot of those things in my mind are all a part of growing up. That certain situation might be different for someone else. That is also a time where you find out who you are and what you want because that could have been different from the time when you were younger. A part of growing up is sometimes doing things you did not do before or losing people you were once close too. In other words, we outgrow those things and people. I want to thank those of you who have been there while I have been growing because they have never left my side. I even want to thank those who left me too because those people taught me a lot. That brings me into my next quote. “Whether you pushed me or pulled me, drained me or fueled me, loved me or left me, hurt me or helped me, you are a part of my growth and no kidding, I ‘thank you’!” You all are really a part of my growth, no matter what.

Another time that made me grow up was simply going from a girl to a woman and that was also when I turned 21 when I was in college. We go through all those changes when we grow up and although I am now past 21, it still feels like I am growing up every day. I do not think that growing up phase ever truly goes away. Someone may want to argue with me about that, but it is whatever. When you grow up you lose things, but growing up also may mean to keep some things and to also gain things. In addition to growing up we also grow, which is pretty much the same thing as growing up. It is just without the up part. We let things grow and blossom. I want to include this quote because it all the things we go through growing up. “As you grow up, your priorities change, nights out are swapped for nights in, your circle gets smaller and games, drama, and partying every weekend just aren’t fun anymore. You get to a point where it’s quality over quantity, like your your career, your relationships, your family and YOU! You want quality now. Something that’s yours, something real, something you can grow, something you’re proud of. As you grow up, you want a future, not just a for now. As you grow up things change, YOU change… and you start to like it that way.” This poem I included is a reminder for all of my readers that it is okay to grow/grow up because all things and people grow up, whether it is plants, people, feelings, etc.

Growing Up Into a Woman

Darling, I hope that you dry your tears
That you cry when you go to sleep at night.
Believe you are stronger than your fears
And that you are still the endless light
That glows. You are no longer that little girl,
But you are still a fighter and growing up
To become something more than a pearl.
You never lost your ability to see that the cup
Is still half way full. You are a good woman with
Optimism, magic and hope at your fingertips.
You have to be more than that fable, myth
And fairy tale. You write your own scripts
And stories. You are someone’s wonder
And super woman, but you do not belong to
Them. You may trip, but you never slip under
Because you are someone who is always true.