Tag: mandy hale

Being Yourself

I know that it is a topic that I have talked about in so many of my blog posts, but it deserves its own category and it is something that I will always continue to talk about since it is something that is very important to me. That would be being yourself. We are born into this world and I have to admit that sometimes it takes some time to figure out who you are. It also takes some time to figure out what you want to do. I remember a while back ago, I am pretty sure it was about a year ago, I was talking to this person who I know who said to me “You’re you.” I sat there and thought about it… I did not truly understand what this person meant. So in fact I asked them pretty much what that means. This person said “You’re you, but your personality is so much more.” In other words, you have to be yourself and your own person. You cannot lose your personality and what makes you who you are, especially to please other people. In fact, you should not be around those people if they cannot appreciate who you really are.

I am digging back into Mandy Hale, one of my many heroes, who says “Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.” What Mandy is saying is that we have to be ourselves and we have to let people see who we really are, even if we have imperfections we do want them to see. We all have quirks, imperfections and things that only make us unique. You cannot be anybody else because as Oscar Wilde says…”Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Live in your own skin and your own body. I encourage all of my readers to be themselves. It is truly the only person we can be. Enjoy the following poem.

Be Yourself

Live in your own body and skin.
Nobody can live the life you can.
It is your blessing and your sin.

You are always better than
Those who pretend to be
Someone else. Always ban

Negative flow. Fit your key
Into you own lock and open
It wide. You are not me

Or he or she. You are not a token
In someone else’s pocket. You
Are not the words spoken

By someone else. Be true
To the person you become.
Be flawed. Be one of the rare few

Who will always come from
A deeply rooted place.
Be full with life, not just some.

Always fill in, color and trace
Your own lines. Remember
That you have your own face.

Hanging On Vs. Letting Go

First of all, I want to talk about one of my new heroes, Mandy Hale (for a moment or two here). I highly recommend two of her books (both of which I have read). “I’ve Never Been to Vegas, but My Luggage Has: Mishaps and Miracles on the Road to Happily Ever After” and “The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go and Moving On.” Both of those books are witty and humorous at times, but they also made me cry. I want to focus more on her book about letting go and moving on because that is the theme of this post.

I used to date this guy and he was my first boyfriend. For the longest time ever, I hung onto a poem I wrote to him, pretty much declaring my feelings for him. When we broke up I hung onto that piece of paper because he wrote something on it. Part of does not know why I hung onto it for all of those years. I finally got the courage to tear it up and throw it away in the trash. It was my own way of finally moving on. I have talked about getting hung up on past and how we cannot be stuck there forever. It is important to remember things from the past, but at the same time it is important to move forward with our lives.

Letting go and moving on are a couple of things that are hard to do no matter what. Some friendships and relationships come to an end at some point because they simply are not the same any more. Some of them just come to an end and we do not always know why. We have all been there, where something comes to an end and we do not know what to do. We can try to hang onto those memories or we can try to move on with our lives. We have memories and mementos from that relationship, whether they are pictures or stuffed animals or letters.

Hale has a section in her book about what to do with all of those items once you have ended that relationship. She suggests to put those things away and deal with them at some other time when the hurt goes away. It is true, we all get hurt. I am sorry, but it just happens that way. It may hurt now, but that cannot last forever. Hale talks about this whole idea of “out of sight and out of mind.” It sounds a lot better in theory than it does in real life, but that motto is worth trying out. That whole idea inspired this poem that I am sharing.

Forgetting

Clinging and holding onto

Something until your hands

Start to hurt is no good.

You need to let some of

The memories and

Moments go. Do not let them

Have power over you and

What you hang onto.

You may want to set them

On fire or delete them from

Your phone or return or

Give them back, but that is

Not the right thing to do.

You can delete those messages

All you want. You can tear your

Love notes all you want, but

Do not throw away things that

Were parts of your relationship.

Although they hurt to look at

They mean a lot to you.

Put them away in boxes that

Go into your closet or under

Your bed or into your head

And heart. They may be

Forgotten, but they will be there

When the hurt lessens and when

You are more ready to deal

With it all. Some things are

Hard to forget.

The Past – Letting Go

The past… It’s a topic we all know and talk about on a daily basis. Demi talks about it and Mandy Hale (another one of my role models) talks about it. They talk about it in similar ways, which is to learn from the past and remember that you are where you need to be now.  I know I’m guilty talking about the past and I know a lot of people are too. There’s no need to be super guilty about talking about it. There’s nothing to be ashamed about. Talking about the past is like talking to an old friend or someone you just reconnected with recently. You may reminisce and catch up. It’s also like talking to someone new. You want to remember things in your childhood or good memories from school. However, there is a reason why it’s called the past. It has already happened and that’s where you need to leave it.

The past comes in many forms like previous jobs and previous experiences. Most of the time the past comes in the form in people and certain situations. In terms of people, there are past relationships with family, romantic partners, friends, and with other people you loved (or people who you were close with). In terms of certain situations, there are both good and bad things that happened. There are things that are good and there are things that happened that you want to completely forget about. Some people need to realize that certain people may not want to talk about their past because it was dark and/or not so good. That’s perfectly okay. The things you learn from your past are lessons learned. We all constantly make mistakes and that’s perfectly okay. You’re taking those mistakes/lessons and applying them as you move on in life. That moving on is to your present and future where you should be living. What I mean is that you should be living in the present but trying not to obsess too much about the past or future.

I know in this poem I’m posting down below talks about the past in terms of people, but this poem can be open to interpretation. Whether it has to do with people or things or whatever happened in your past, it doesn’t matter. All that I know is that we all have a past and that what connects us together. The past is sometimes painful, but it doesn’t always have to be. We have to take a look at our pasts, remembering both the good and the bad aspects.

In The Past

Take a breath

And let it go.

The past is in

The past.

The tears and

Sobs lodged

In the back

Of your throat

Don’t matter

Anymore.

They can’t hurt

You anymore.

They can’t bring

You down anymore.

They’re just people

And words that

Pretend to care.

That’s why they

Don’t change

And morph into

Something positive.

They stay negative

And bad. Ignore them.

That chapter is in

The past. All you

Can do is leave it all

In the past. Leave the

Baggage behind,

But never forget

What they have taught

You.

 

P.S. I wanted to add this quote, since I think it is relevant to this blog post. “Starting today, I need to forget what’s gone. Appreciate what still remains and look forward to what’s coming next.”