Tag: messy ties

Unrequited Love/Crush

We all know that feeling, right? That feeling when we love someone or have a crush on someone, but they do not feel the same way about us. That is called “unrequited love.” It basically means it is all one sided. Here is a quote I found among the many about unrequited love. Suzanne Harper says, “Problems can be fixed. But unrequited love is a tragedy.” Growing up I almost always had a crush on someone who did not feel the same way I did or just completely ignored me. I had a crush on the jock or one of the popular guys and I was always one of the quiet or shy girls. It happens to all of us. It is awful and makes us feel bad. It makes us feel unappreciated and makes us have the worst self esteem, like am I not good enough or why doesn’t he/she like or love me back? And I have also been on the other side too where someone liked me, but I did not like them back like that. It sucks, but you cannot force chemistry with just anyone. So I know what it is like on both sides and what I am saying is that it sucks, but happens anyways.

Sometimes it happens where someone likes you and you like them, so it would be a requited like/love like you both mutually like or love each other. And that is great when that happens, but sometimes it is a rarity. So I really sympathize with my readers, understanding everyone’s frustration and heartache. Sometimes you will look back and say damn, I missed my chance or it is a good thing they did not love/like me back because of the person they turned out to be. I look back on some of the crushes I had and wonder why I liked them to begin with. There were rare chances when they actually treated me well. Then some of that changed as I got older. I am sharing two poems to share two different sides of the spectrum. Happy reading and enjoy!! And a late happy Valentine’s Day to all of my readers out there. I posted this in the spirit of that holiday. I hope that you enjoy it, even if you are single. And I will throw in one more poem in that spirit. So it will be three poems that you will be reading here. Enjoy (again)!!

Unrequited Crush

Heart stopping and heart pounding affection.
Every time you turned my way, I had to stop
From fainting. As we got older, the connection
We once had faded because you would chop
My heart into pieces and pretended like you
Never knew who I was to you. You smiled at
Every pretty girl, but I never had the luxury to
Be on the receiving end of it. I was a doormat
And an outsider, but I am over it now because
A guy like you does not deserve my infatuation
Or to be my unrequited crush. It made me pause
Wondering why you would be my temptation
Because you are nothing more than a daydream
In a fantasy. Someone else gives me that gleam.

Feeling It Right In the Soul

Everything about you looks good on paper, but it is about
What the heart and mind wants. Everything that is you
Cannot change, but I want to scream and shout
That you deserve better because you want someone to
Give you that love that you give so freely in return.
I am not the one to give it to you, but someday you will
Find someone who will give you a spark and flame
You can never put out. They will dive in right until
You take your last breath. Then you will know the claim
That they have on you. That is something you want,
Not only on the surface, but also deep down to your
Very soul. Darling, do not let that mistake haunt
You of wanting and loving the wrong girl. The door
You wanted to open will open and you will walk right
Into something you could have never visualized
Before. You will smile, laugh, argue and fight
With them forever. You will be surprised.

Valentine’s Day – Not Just For the Lovers

Valentine’s Day is for the lovers with flowers
And chocolate, but what about the lonely ones?
It is like God has stripped them of their powers
To get that love in return. He or she outruns
That possibility because they only want what
Others have, a chance of happiness. When they
Think no one would love them like that, their gut
Bottoms out because as much as they hope and pray
For a strong love. Someone out there is going to stay.

Being an Introvert/Enjoying Solitude

I know that there are tons of people out there who will relate to this subject and topic, for I am one of those people too. I am talking about something that is on everyone’s mind and that is being an introvert. I want to start by saying that there is nothing wrong with being an introvert and in fact, people who are introverts are some of the smartest people we know. Famous people like Albert Einstein, Rosa Parks and Eleanor Roosevelt (another one of my heroes) have been known to be introverts. Yes, they may come across as shy, quiet, and someone who keeps to themselves, but nothing is wrong with that either. When you look up the definition there are many definitions, but one that sticks out is “a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings.” That, in my mind, clarifies who an introvert is to the t.

I think people are introverts for a variety of reasons. Maybe the primary reason is that they like silence in a world and society that is noisy. They enjoy the quietness, solitude and calmness of every moment. Although introverts tend to be quiet, they are observant of what goes on around them. They would observe rather than participating. Introverts are the ones who stay quiet, but that does not mean their thoughts are quiet too. Sometimes it is the quiet people we have to pay attention to. Stephen Hawking says it the best. “Quiet people have the loudest minds.” That is definitely something that is true and applies to introverts.

A part of being an introvert like I said before is enjoying solitude. To introverts it is important and vital like breathing. In other words, introverts need solitude to survive. Susan Cain says it pretty much the same way. “Solitude matters, and for some people, it’s the air they breathe.” People do not always believe me when I tell them I am an introvert because they think with the way I talk to people and socialize they think I am an extrovert. I am only that way around people I know and with people I am completely comfortable with. My therapist once explained that it all has to do with where you get your energy from and how you recharge. You either get it from being around other people or being by yourself and in solitude. I think I am right on the fence of being an extrovert and an introvert. I enjoy being around people, but more and more these days I enjoy the time I take to myself. I am not always the one who loves going out every Friday and weekend day. I wish people would believe me more on that, but each to their own I guess.

I wrote this piece for introverts and non-introverts alike because although a lot of us are introverts, there are also a lot of people who are not. I wrote this kind of as a rule book of what makes someone an introvert and how to deal with these kinds of people. This is a quote to kind of explain how to deal with someone like that. “Yes, I am an introvert. No, I’m not shy. No, I’m not stuck up. No, I’m not antisocial. I’m just listening. I’m just observing. I can’t stand small talk… But I’ll talk about life for hours. I’d rather be at home with a close friend or two than among a crowd of acquaintances. Don’t scold me in public. Don’t embarrass me in public. Respect that I am reserved. And if I open myself up to you, know that means you’re very special to me.” In other words, introverts should be respected just like everyone else. It does not matter what kind of introvert they are because they can have multiple layers. Respect and enjoy that!! Some of the best people are introverts, but that is just my personal opinion being one myself. This poem just touches some of the points of being an introvert. Happy reading and enjoy!!

Quiet Thoughts

In a noisy room, I want every moment that is
Quiet and peaceful. Darling, there is no need
For me or anyone else to be the one who says

Something just to fill the silence. You will lead
And I will follow right behind you. Take me to
Where the horizon meets the ocean. The seed

That nobody thought would grow. Give it a few
Drops of water. Watch it grow into something
Nobody thought would happen. A cut through

The serenity and something magical. A spring
By the waterside and a pretty flower that will
Unfold when you give it a place to grow. A wing

That uncurls and flies away. The quiet thrill
Just as the sun rises every morning and we
Are thinking every thought that keeps us still.

Moments of Clarity

Do you ever get those moments or ideas that just hit or strike you out of nowhere? I like to call those moments of clarity. I feel like a lot of people get at least one those moments in their lifetime. You get to those moments in your life that help you see where you are going. I think of them like when lightning strikes. In other words, it is like when a moment is bright and sudden. That brings me into this quote by Cathryn Louis who says “Sometimes a moment of clarity shines so bright, you have no choice but to walk into the light – or hide under the rug.” So in other words, you have two choices when it comes to clarity… you can step right into the light or hide away. I feel like you do not want to hide from these moments of clarity because sometimes they will go away and sometimes you will be left with nothing.

I think those moments, like I said before, can hit you at any given moment, but sometimes they hit you when you are hitting rock bottom or at a low point in your life. Whether it is dealing with some kind of situation or a person who helped you get those moments of clarity. Sometimes you do not realize they helped you with your moments of clarity until later on and that is perfectly alright. I guess what I am saying is that these situations and people help you see where your life is going, as well as helping you determine where you do not want your life to go. This time is valuable as Linda Poindexter says. “There is no time more valuable than a moment of clarity.” Like I said before, sometimes you do not always see it until later, but it is still there.

I think of those moments of clarity like inspiration because like inspiration they make your life better, clearer and simpler. It is like the fog and haze has been lifted. Sometimes those moments of clarity do not come around often like Paul Reiser states in this next quote. “Once in a while you get a moment of clarity — an inspiration — and they don’t come that frequently.” So in other words, those moments of clarity are special and rare. Like I said before inspiration and clarity are equivalent to each other. They are one and the same. So I encourage my readers to fully grab those moments of clarity or when inspiration strikes and hold onto them. You may never know when they come again. They will help propel your life and will help you find where you are going. Sometimes it is better late than never. In a sense, they help shape you and your life. Just a little reminder to my readers that you should do whatever you can to get those moments of clarity, even if that means stepping back for a little bit. There is nothing wrong with that. Cheers and happy reading. I have included two poems within this post, so I hope that you all enjoy!! I thank every one of those moments that gave me clarity, whether it was a certain situation or person I dealt with.

Moment of Clarity

Everything felt so dark and blurry, like you could not
Find the light or clarity until it was too late. Like that
Sudden flash of lightning, suddenly you have and got
This idea of where your life is supposed to be. Flat
Surfaces become full of depth and perception. A pool
Of thoughts that gather and collect. When your logic told
You that you were drowning is finally when your cool
And warm both temperatures kept you afloat. Hold
That moment near you when you are were so close
To giving up for good. You were so afraid to the pit
Of your stomach. Do not forget it was you who rose
From the ground up, but you did not truly realize it
Until you made that decision to walk away from
Those people and the things that no longer served
You right. They did not contribute to your outcome
Of life. It was not until you were riding curved
Roads and reaching unknown destinations when
You recognized that you were getting tired of
Everything that was the same as before. Again
And again it was the same story, but the love
That you had for yourself outweighed everything.
That is when your moment of clarity hit like a swift
Illumination of light. Darling, you are carrying
Yourself home and always floating adrift.

 

You Became My Moment of Clarity

There were nights when I spent the time crying myself
To sleep. Hugs, kisses, touches and words that turned
Into lies. I wanted to believe that there was something
More than those stolen moments, but that high shelf
You kept me on was breaking. My stomach churned
Because it read something was wrong. A long string
Of lights that turned on because the moment of clarity
Hit us both like a bolt of lightning. I got this feeling like
I knew exactly who you were, lost and scared like I was.
I could not spend any more time wondering the severity
Of the situation we got caught up in. Your final strike
Got you out of the game and I was done chasing the buzz.

Disrespect of Women

There are so many topics we all get sick and tired of hearing about. One of those is the disrespect of women, especially with the whole thing around Donald Trump and Harvey Weinstein. It is the 21st Century, but it makes me feel like we are back in the ’50s or something because we are still treating women with disrespect almost every single day. It makes me sick and tired because women deserve better. We have to do a better job as a country and as a nation to take better care of our women. After all, we come from women, so what gives us a right to disrespect women? Tupac pretty much says it the same way. He says “A woman brought you into this world, so you have no right to disrespect one.” And he pays homage to them in his song “Keep Your Head Up” where he raps about how women should be treated better. Here is a sample from that song. “And since we all came from a woman/Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman/I wonder why we take from our women/Why we rape our women, do we hate our women?/I think it’s time to kill for our women/Time to heal our women, be real to our women/And if we don’t, we’ll have a race of babies/That will hate the ladies, that make the babies/And since a man can’t make one/He has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one!/So will the real men get up/I know you’re fed up ladies,/But keep your head up/(Keep ya head up) Oooh, child things are gonna get easier/(Keep ya head up) Oooh, child things’ll get brighter/(Keep ya head up) Oooh, child things are gonna get easier/(Keep ya head up) Oooh, child things’ll get brighter…” So he is telling women to keep their heads up and telling the guys to respect women.

It really disgusts me how we can elect a president who disrespects women every day with rape, sexual harassment, etc. The list goes on and on. One thing about respecting women is believing them when they step forward and speak up about those things I just mentioned. That support needs to happen right now. That starts with women respecting other women. I know society has taught us to tear each other apart and to speak bad about each other. That all needs to stop. In other words, we need to have a strong community of women. Sophia Nelson says it like this. “Be a woman other women can trust. Have the courage to tell another woman direct when she has offended, hurt or disappointed you. Successful women have a loyal tribe of loyal and hones women behind them. No haters. Not backstabbers or women who whisper behind their back. Be a woman who lifts other women.” If we start there we can just do about anything. To continue more about this I want to throw in one similar like the one above, which I got from Amber Riley’s story on Instagram (she was in the TV show “Glee”). She wrote “Part of my 2018 focus will be creating deeper roots with my girls we really do need another creating a safe environment where we all feel we can share triumphs and failures.” In other words we need to make it safe for every woman.

I wrote this post purposefully almost exactly a year after the Women’s March. We went and participated in one in Oakland. It was such a wonderful experience. We went to another one this year (it was yesterday in fact). It was a wonderful turnout at this one and at other marches across the country, even across the world. I think the way to stop all of this disrespect is to continue to speak up, protest and do whatever it takes to be heard because like I said, it is something I get tired of hearing about. In fact, we should not even be talking about it today, but we are! We are going to continue to talk about it always. To quote my hero Maya Angelou “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” So in other words, once one woman or in this case, one group of women, can stand up for all women. It takes a lot of work, but I know we can do it. So here is to the end of the disrespect of women although there are many other groups that are disrespected like immigrants, Blacks, Latinos, etc. and we should not forget that. Enjoy and march on!! I am with you all!

The Disrespect of Women

Women of every race, religion, shapes and sizes
Getting mistreated everyday, not making the same
Amount of money that men are. We are no prizes
To anyone but ourselves. When we have no game
Or hustle, but we bust our asses off just to get food
On the table and make a name for ourselves. Catcalls
From the street when we just simply walk by. Nude
Bodies admired when we are a size zero, but falls
Short when we have any extra body fat. Being called
Bitches and whores when we show off too much skin.
Being threatened, beaten, blackmailed or being hauled
Away when all we said was no thank you. When we grin
We are too easy. When we are frowning we are told to
Loosen up and smile. When we are supposed to please
Men and never ask any questions of why? The queue
Of men allowed to abuse and rape us repeatedly. Sleaze
Balls staring at us and asking us for our numbers when
We said we are not interested or already have a man
At home. They think they can write all over us with pen
Like we are their property and thinking they think they can
Hit us all they want to because we are small fragile creatures.
They lecture us when we have sinned and are too much of
A temptation for men. They think they become preachers,
Luring us into traps. We are told we are not worthy of love
Or respect when we want to be alone and without anyone
Else. Those lies we are being fed will always be outrun.

Happiness

We all want many things in life, but I think one thing we all want is to be happy or to find our happiness. I know that we try to find it within other people or things, but I think the main way to find happiness is to find it within ourselves. I know that there are bad people in this world, but we all deserve happiness. It is like you wish people the best no matter what, even if they hurt you. Yeah, it is true that you surround yourself with people who make you happy, make you smile and laugh. Those are the good people and they mean the world to you, but you learn to find your happiness the hard way. That means you have to let go of people and things that do not make you happy. I am not saying that everything is sunshine and rainbows all of the time, but there is no room for bad things either. Being happy is very personal as this following quote says. “Being happy is a very personal thing and it really has nothing to do with anyone else.” YOU, not anyone else finds YOUR happiness.

I think all you have to in life is be happy. That is the best medicine and best revenge, especially when things in life make you unhappy. I think if you are happy, especially with yourself, I feel like everything else will fall into place. That is what this next quote by Chuck Palahniuk says about happiness and revenge. “That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone having a good fucking life.” Like I said, being happy is the best thing to do. Yeah, some people can tell when you are unhappy, but maybe they do not always know when you are happy. Just keep it that way. Sometimes you just want to keep some of that happiness to yourself and that is perfectly okay. You do what makes you happy and do not forget that.

Happiness is one thing I try to strive for every day. I made that promise to myself, especially with the new year upon us and I hope that all of my readers will do the same. That is the best advice I can give my readers. Enjoy and happy 2018!!!! Since this is my first post of the new year I will throw in another poem. Happiness is the best new year’s resolution you can put on your list, but it is always something to work on. I just want to conclude this post with one final quote. “Choose your happiness over everything.” In other words, being happy is vital to living, so if you choose anything choose your happiness, especially over things that do not make you happy. So enjoy and once again happy new year!!

Find Your Happiness

Sunshine streams across your face,
And through windows, erasing
Shadows that you used to trace
With your fingertips. The racing
Sound of your heartbeat evens out
While you feel calmness wash over
Like steady streams used to sprout
And help you grow every clover
In your garden. Your mind begins
Expanding into beautifully said
Words and thoughts. Your sins
And bad decisions have bled
Out. They have been washed
Away with yesterday’s pain.
Negativity has been squashed.
You learn to dance in the rain
And smile like you have never
Been sad. You let everything
Bad down the drain and the lever
Has been pulled. You fling
Yourself into all things that
Make you happy and less flat.

Resolution – Your Happiness First

Why can’t you be happy? Maybe you are trying
Too hard for perfection that cannot always be
Reached. A look in the mirror and you are crying
For the girl inside of you because what you see
Right before your eyes is not the same person
You are truly becoming. Maybe you should stop
Believing your insecurities before they worsen
And shape into something you cannot drop
Off at the baggage claim anymore. Maybe what
You grow is more important than the weeds
And things that did not grow. Let the voice shut
Down the doubt. Embrace your prayer beads
Within your palm and hanging around your neck.
Save yourself and pick yourself up from the wreck.

Meeting People

We all cross paths with people on a daily basis. Whether it is simply strangers passing by on the street or friends or people we know or meeting someone when you go out on a date, etc. there are very few days when we do not meet new or old people. There is no accident to meeting these people either. It reminds me of this quote that I got on one of my birthday cards this year, which is one of my favorite quotes. “We don’t meet people by accident. They are meant to cross our path for a reason.” What I am saying is that these people we meet or come across, whether it is simply for a minute or an hour or a day or weeks or months or years, they come into our life for some reason. In other words, they teach us something whether it is about ourselves or about them or about the world all around us. That brings me to this quote. “You will meet many types of people in your life. You will meet delicate flowers, raging oceans, quiet forests, towering mountains, and colourful skies. You will meet thunderstorms, you will meet lightning. They will knock you down, they will leave you breathless. You will meet sunrises, you will meet gardens. They will give you light, they will take you on adventures. Explore them. Get lost with them They all have something different to teach you.” That quote describes what I am talking about so perfectly.

Like I said, there are so many types of people that walk this Earth everyday and we are blessed enough to meet these people as well as sometimes getting to know these people. It is true that we may find and meet people who are very similar to us, but we also meet people who are different. Those people all teach us something. There are people we never see again. There are people who we meet but then lose touch with. There are some people who come into our lives but then leave again. Some of those people we do not want to think about ever again. C.S. Lewis puts it in a better way than I can. He says “In your life, you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some, you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again. But you do.” He brings up a lot of the points I already made. We think about people, that is a given and we have a tendency to think about people we never want to think about to begin with. No matter if you do not want to think about them or not, that still teaches you something.

What I am saying is that even if you cross paths with someone who only stayed in your life temporarily versus permanently they still taught you something. No matter if they end up hurting you or if one or both of you ends up getting hurt they still taught you something. Even if there is anger there, that still teaches you something. Like I have said before, there is no accident in meeting people. This quote says it the best way. “You don’t meet people by accident. There’s always a reason. A lesson or a blessing.” There is simply no other way to say it other than that. We can go on and on about this subject matter, but I will leave it at that. I just want to let my readers know that they should be thankful and grateful for whoever they cross paths with. This is the post that I want to conclude 2017 with because that is a big part of what my life was about this year and for the previous years. I want to conclude by wishing everyone a happy and slightly early 2018 since I will not be writing my first post of 2018 for a little bit. Enjoy this last poem of 2017!

Crossing Paths With Different People

There is never the right time to meet people. They come
Into your life like a hurricane or a gentle breeze or the sun
Behind the clouds. There is always something about them
That will either make your heart race or will make you run
The other way. They will calm your spirit or will make you
Want to be wild, reckless and live on the edge. Some of
Them you never think about again and others you want to
Know because they are intriguing. They teach you to love
And respect this Earth we walk on. They may even teach
You something about yourself you did not know otherwise.
Darling, they will be some people who will help you reach
For the stars and your dreams. You will look them in the eyes
And for some reason you will feel like you are finally at home.
It is there you can finally rest and you can become yourself.
Darling, they make you want to stop trying to find and roam
This world to find ourselves in those people. The high shelf,
They will help you touch and feel it. Those are the good
People who will make your soul feel whole and satisfied.
There are times when you feel misguided and misunderstood,
So keep away from people who will keep you on the curbside
Like yesterday’s trash. You do not belong there. You possess
A heart of gold. Some people will help you realize and fulfill
That. Sometimes you will be looked at like you are a mess.
Never let that bother you because it is okay to be like a spill
Across the canvas. Chaotic, sloppy and muddled is what we
Are always going to be. Some people might join us in our
Unorganized and crazy life. Some people just might see
That we are anything but normal. We learn in every hour
And moment. We learn to knock down every tower.

Seasons of Giving

It is that times of the year… Thanksgiving has already passed and Christmas is right around the corner. In fact, Christmas is tomorrow. Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays growing up and it is still is to this very day. I love waking up early and seeing the presents under the Christmas tree. I feel like one thing has changed, especially as I have gotten older. I still enjoying getting presents and I love giving them away, but I feel like those are so materialistic these days. Like  the newest iPhone or computer or something like that. This quote says it the best. “I think as you grow older your Christmas list gets shorter, because the things you want cannot be bought.” I guess what I am saying is that the littlest of things is what matters like being in someone’s presence or getting a gift that actually matters and is low cost. I feel like one of the best things you can give someone else, especially around the holidays is your time, love and presence.

In other words, I think a great gift is one that keeps on giving or paying it forward. There is a movie about that.  Best of all those kinds of gifts come free or at least they should. I think that is why I want to try to volunteer my time or things I do not need anymore because if I do not need it then maybe someone else might. I have to remind myself that there are people who are less fortunate than me. I wish I could give more because I always believe in helping others. It is in our best nature to help others. That is why I hate how much this world has become the cars, houses, iPhones, jewelry and things we buy with our money. It is such a shame and I hope we can change that now, not only for our generation, but for the ones to follow.

So I guess what I am trying to say is best said in the following quote by Pierre Corneille. He says “The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.” So what he and I are trying to say is that the fact that we are giving is more important than the gift itself because that is what the holidays are all about. Even donating to charity, whether it is a dollar or donating school supplies or scarves and hats to the homeless shelters goes a long way. Those are just some examples, but I am sure there are some other ways in which to give a meaningful gift. Even donating your talents to a good cause can be a way of giving. I want to encourage my readers to think of some way they can give back to something or someone they really care about. That is something we all cherish. Happy holidays everyone!!

My Free Gifts

I could buy you all of the materialistic things that
Do not matter or get you a lifetime of laughter.
I can be your solider who can fight and combat
Next to you. I can give you what comes after.
I can be a light that shines within the darkness
Like a precious jewel that you cannot buy with
Money. I will stand with you in the starkness.
I can give you something that only a wordsmith
Can give you. Those are the things that do not cost
Anything because they already come free with me.
Darling, I know that when you are completely lost,
I will be the home and peace you come to. I would be
Everything you cannot find in something else. I am
The gift that keeps on giving to those that realize
That life is far from fake and becoming a sham.
There is something about me that makes me a prize.

People Who Did Us Wrong

I just want to talk about something, especially after doing another competition on DUP. Like I have said before, there are people we come across. Some people treated us right, but there are people who have been a part of our lives and have treated us horribly aka they did us wrong. It does not matter if they are an ex, a former friend, or someone in our family. I know that we should all behave proper, but in this moment it is okay to bash them, just a little bit and not too much because they are still only human after all. Even if they did you wrong you still have to be a better person while forgiving them and then just moving on. Dwelling on something takes too much energy. Some things you can fix and other times you cannot. This quote says it the best. “Hating is for the weak, loving is for the strong. It takes more to love someone who did you wrong than it does to hate them.” So no, I do not hate anybody, but I forgive and say thank you because I would not be where I am today without them. This is a short post, as all of it is pretty simple. I want to conclude by strongly encouraging my readers to dig deep down and forgive those who did us wrong. Cheers and happy reading! Just a side note that this is directed towards an ex, but can be applied to anyone else who did us wrong. I decided to go with two poems. The second one actually won me a competition on DUP.

Did Me Wrong

My first love… why did you have go ahead and break my heart?
You took it all and tore everything into pieces. Everything was sore
And hurting so much. You knew that everything was falling apart,
But you did nothing, except taking back your promises, your
Words and actions. I was left feeling empty and with a gaping
Hole, but I had to replace you. I could not let the sadness
Wash over me while all of the anger was slowly escaping
From my body. I should have every right to be in the madness
And be pissed off. I am sorry and all the other apologies will
Not be enough. I could have burned everything, but be glad
I am not that kind of ex that is psychotic and crazy. The thrill
And chase of that teenage love is done. We could be friends
Is bullshit. We were down different roads and ends.

 

Everything That is You

I hate you and everything that you truly are.
I once thought that you were the shining star,
But I was a fool because you became a meteorite,
Having everything around me burn red and white.
You said that you loved me, but I was just a pawn
And soldier in your game. Even before the dawn
Came I knew that things could never be the same.
Deep down rooted within me there is pain, shame
And fiery anger. If only you could understand it all,
But you are too selfish to care. I was your rag doll,
Only being pushed around and trying to please you,
But nothing could make you completely happy. To
You I am just another person you can throw away.
But I cannot let you treat me that badly. I still pray
To forgive you because I know that nobody could
Ever truly ever be that bad intentionally. The good
Parts of you are there even if you cannot see them.
I have become sturdy like a flower and its stem.

Natural Beauty

I feel like we live in a world where there is too much people being fake and plastic, as in plastic surgery. We see too many celebrities getting bigger boobs, butts, facelifts and other kinds of surgery. We want to be beautiful I get that, but natural beauty is so much better. Women want to cake on makeup, get their hair straightened and do all sorts of things to make them beautiful, but they are naturally beautiful is what I am saying. This quote says it in a great way. “Natural beauty is the best beauty.” It is simply put. If others cannot come to appreciate us when we are in our natural state like having naturally curly hair or wearing glasses or wearing sweats or having no makeup on then they do not deserve us when we are the opposite. Those people clearly do not know what natural beauty may look or feel like. Those are the people we should not be around.

A lot of the time when someone thinks of beauty they might think of the physical part of beauty, but there is a mental part to it. In other words, it is not just about the physical beauty, but also about what is inside that makes a person naturally beautiful. I think it has to do with personality as well as being real and being yourself. You should never try to pretend to be someone you are not. I think it also has to do with the fact that you should believe that you are beautiful. In other words, if you believe that you are beautiful then others are going to think that too. People will love you for being yourself and for what is on the inside. There is so much more I can say about this, but I think I will leave it at that.

Natural Beauty: Letter to Myself

Green eyes and a smile that shines.
Dark brown hair that falls in curls.
Wrinkles, frowns, and worry lines
Of yesterday are forgotten. Pearls
Of beauty sparkle. Forget about
The stretch marks and every scar
Across your flawless skin. No doubt
That you are the brightest star
Out there in a fake world. Your
Natural body and face should not
Be envious at all. Do not start a war
You know is pointless. They forgot
You because they thought you were
Just one of the several “pretty”
Girls out there when you are the blur
That passes by. You are that city,
Country and beach girl all rolled
Into one. Someone who is really
Unforgettable like a diamond or gold.
Just a simple girl with nothing frilly.

Showing Grace

I know that I have talked about forgiveness in one of my previous posts, but you may have to go back a while ago to find it. I am going to talk about something very similar, but is kind of different at the same time and that is grace. On the first and third Sunday of every month I work at the Live Oak Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Church in Alameda, CA where I help with child care services. We tell stories right before we go to our classroom. This one focused on grace. There was a girl who went to the beach with her dad. Her dad gave her money to go get ice cream. On her way back she fell and dropped the ice cream on the pavement. She went back to her dad and her dad said to go get another one. She did not have any money, but her dad said to ask for another one. She went up and explained to the woman that she dropped her cone, could she get another one. The woman gave her another one.

The moral of the story is explained in this quote I found as well. “There is nothing more classy or powerful than showing forgiveness and grace to someone who does not deserve it.” So for example, like in the story the girl received grace although she did not deserve it. The moral is not only to give grace, but to also receive and accept as well, especially in today’s world. In other words, we have to make room for grace in our hearts because we need it. There is too much cruelness in this world, so we need to be accepting, especially of people’s mistakes and imperfections. I feel like grace, especially receiving as well as giving it, is what makes the world go round. I feel like there would a lot more anger and misunderstanding if there was not any grace at all. When people think of grace, they automatically associate it with religion, especially Christianity, but you do not have to be religious to believe in grace. I just wanted to point that out, especially since I am a non religious person myself.

The whole point of this post is to tell people to open up their hearts. I encourage everybody to do that and to forgive, as hard as it may be, especially if they really hurt you. I want everyone to give grace, as well as receiving it with open arms. Isn’t that what we want to teach the next generation? They look up to us and the best thing we can do is to teach them to do the same. I am posting this right around Thanksgiving because it is that time of year to think about grace, although we can do so much more of it year round. There are many definitions of grace when you look it up in the dictionary. This is one that stood out to me. “The exercise of love, kindness, compassion, mercy, favor; disposition to benefit or serve another.” We should show grace because it is our duty as human beings to do so. There is so much more to say about grace, but all that I have talked about sums it up. I just want to leave you all with one more quote. “Grace changes everything.” I think this quote shows how important grace is. I will leave it at that. Here is a poem to enjoy by yours truly. Enjoy and happy Thanksgiving in advance.

Everlasting Grace

Darling, I always want to live with grace
And forgiveness in my heart even when
The apology is not given. I am in a place
To be living and starting all over again.
Darling, I have been in a place of being
Able to accept everyone’s past mistakes.
I am no longer running away or fleeing
From the pain and hurt. Someone flakes
Out on you or will make you really mad,
And you make the best out of it, no matter
What happens in life. Nobody can be a bad
Person willfully. We have all made a splatter
And a mess out of things in our highly flawed
Ways. You keep your grace from going numb.
You have always broke, fought and clawed
Your way through life, so do not let some
Messed up situations take you back to where
You were before, another place of being
Unwilling to ever accept the idea of
Forgiveness. However, you are now seeing
Things differently, including grace and love.