Tag: messy ties

Old Drama

Remember when I talked way back when about leaving things behind? Well… one of those things that we have to leave behind is old drama. I do not know about you all, but I got teased relentlessly throughout middle school and high school. Those people who teased me, I do not associate myself with them anymore or at least I try not to. The worst thing is that they pretend to be your friend and do not remember that they treated you terribly back then. Yes, I am a person who loves drama, but that only comes in the form of theatre and performance drama. Trust me, I have dealt with drama, especially coming from a huge family, especially on my mom’s side. Someone is always talking about someone or not speaking to someone or spreading rumors. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Sounds like high school all over again. Please, I know we are back in high school with this bullshit, pardon my language. Two things I will not tolerate; those are fake people and old drama.

That brings me into my next point of combing the two. I do not have the time, nor the patience to be dealing with those kinds of people. That brings me to this…which is best explained in this quote. “Sometimes those who don’t socialize much aren’t anti-social, they just have no tolerance for drama and fake people.” The worst assumption that people can make about me and people who are very similar in this regard is that we are anti-social. We still deal with people, just not those who are trying to bring us down and I will take more about the type of people we should be around in a different post…later down the road. That is why I only associate myself with some people from school, especially middle school and high school. That brings me into my next quote. “Drama just does not just walk into your life. Either you create it, invite it, or associate it.” In other words, do not let drama come into your life. It will give you headaches and things you do not want in the long run.

I know that I keep telling people this, but walk away. However, this time I am saying to walk away from drama. You should never try to associate yourself with drama. That brings me into my next quote which says “Real people avoid drama. They know their time is too precious. and choose not to waste it on unimportant people.” Sometimes I should take my own advice. Do not walk right into drama either. Those people who create drama thrive off of it, so do not give them that satisfaction. I just wanted to thank an old friend of mine from middle school, Ms. Sareena, who inspired this poem. You taught me a valuable lesson of never entertaining or being fooled by old drama. The best thing to do is to extend an olive branch and forgive. However, if they do not take it and want to bring up old drama, then walk away. Keep walking and never look back. I hate to be harsh, but those people do not deserve to be in your life. Cheers and remember that you should try to live your life as drama free as possible.

Leave the Drama Behind

Do not be fooled by the old
Drama and by people who think
They know you. They acted cold
Towards you while they wink
At you now, thinking that you are still
Friends. Darling, they are dumb
Enough to want to catch up and fill
The space with stories, but some
People never change. They want
The gossip and the latest scoop,
Not knowing that every taunt
Still echoes. Go ahead and snoop
Because you have nothing to hide.
In fact you have been way more
Successful while they want to ride
With you to the top. They swore
To be your friend, but they
Have become masters at telling
Lies. Never let them get their way
And become manipulators. Swelling
With pride is their way of being
Secretly envious. They want your
Life because they are finally seeing
They are going nowhere fast. Before
You let them watch you fail, succeed
So hard that they have to doubt
Themselves. You will find no need
To satisfy them. Their drought
Is your garden, watered with hunger
And motivation to live above
The drama. You are not any younger,
Living in a world lacking love
And respect because those people
Will still love you, but you also find
Forgiveness under the same steeple.
Leave the hurt and scars behind
Where they belong. Right their
Wrongs even when they are
Far from being sorry. Clear the air
And leave it at that. Be a bright star.

Being a Second Choice and Backup Plan

I know that I have not posted for a while and I want to apologize for that. Anyways…I want to start off by talking about why this post topic is important because it is not as simple as it sounds and it is definitely a lesson we can all learn. Let me start off by talking about where I got this idea from. When I was an undergraduate at McDaniel College I was in an on and off “relationship” with this guy for about 1 to 2 years or so. To be honest, I was relieved when it was all over. The point is that while this guy and I were in this so called “relationship” or whatever you want to call it, he was always constantly choosing himself, as well as other people and things over me. He was pretty much making me his second choice and backup plan. It sucked because I wanted to mean something as much as he did to me, but it did not work out that way. This is going to sound harsh, but that was his choice and decision. He was making no effort to make me his priority and that hurt a lot. After that kind of relationship happened I promised myself to never try to put myself in that kind of situation ever again because it was not worth it. It taught me to never force someone to make that choice.

The whole point of all of this is to say that you should never settle to be someone’s second choice or backup plan. I just want to tell everyone that we are worth way more than that. That just does not regard a romantic or traditional relationship, but for friends as well as family and other types of relationships. Consider this following quote as a mantra to remember and it can last you a lifetime, I can guarantee that. “I’m not a backup plan, and definitely not a second choice.” I want my readers to remember that because being someone’s back up plan or second choice is not a good feeling at all. In fact, sometimes it hurts more when you do not even become someone’s choice to begin with. Do not take it personally because it is on them and not on you. In other words, there is nothing more you can do and you deserve to be someone’s priority, no matter what.

In fact here is a quote to explain what you should do if someone ever starts treating you that way. “When someone treats you like an option, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself from the equation. It’s that simple.” That is going to sound harsh, I know, but you sometimes have to do it. I get it if it something reasonable, but if they always treat you like an option and a choice then you have to walk away. You have to take yourself out of the situation, no matter how much it hurts to do so. That is what I strongly conclude to my readers… walk away if they start treating you that way. It is a survival mechanism and works in the long run. It is good for your own health so that you do not have to constantly worry about them and you at the same time. They have issues to sort through and you all should leave it at that. Hang in there and realize that I am right there with you. Just a side note…this poem implies a romantic type of relationship, but it can be used for almost any situation you find yourself in.

Her Over Me

You did not choose me because you always
Chose her or someone else over me. Maybe
Our stolen moments and your secret gaze
At me were not enough for us. When you see
Her instead of me, it hurts more than it should.
I thought we had something special, but the daggers
And harsh words came out instead of the good
Ones. The big and revealing truth staggers
Instead of standing up straight. I hated you for
The way you made me feel. It was like we had
A chance, but it was ruined. It was your
Lies and dishonesty that made me really mad
Like a thunderstorm. I could no longer stand
To look at you because everything came back.
I wanted something more than holding hands
And secrets. Darling, I wanted to black
Out and forget it all like none of it never
Happened. You always make it look so easy,
By pulling the trigger, plug and lever
On all we had. How can you not be so queasy?
But I guess you never really cared about me after
All so it was a simple solution. I never got
To see your smile or hear your laughter
And the reality is that you never once thought
To fight for me every single day while I was so
Wrapped up in you. I had to watch everything go.

Showing Support/Lifting Others Up

Ever heard of that expression, “pulling yourself up by the bootstraps?” Well… I am going to be talking about that in this blog post. I do not even know where that saying originated from. I know that some, if not all of us, should pull ourselves up by the bootstraps, but a lot of us need other people to do that for us as well. It does not show weakness or giving up. It shows more than that and that would be having others help us up or in other words having people reach out a helping hand. I do not know how others feel about it, but I appreciate people who support as well as motivate and push me to be better. This brings me to this quote I found by Charles M. Marcus. He says “Surround yourself with people who are going to motivate and inspire you.” I know that I have talked about how we all go through times when we struggle, but the truth is that we, for the most part, have people who help us get through those hard times. Those are the people who help us smile, laugh and wipe away at least some of our tears.

For some of us that might be family members or a really good and best friend. For some of us it could be a counselor or mentor or a significant other. For a lot of us it could be a whole mix of those and for those of us who have that kind of person or multiple people, I say that we are lucky. For some other people, they are not as lucky and I truly feel sorry for those people. For some people, they have that “special” person, but that “special” person may not realize that they are that type of person. That really does not matter. What it matters is how much they support you and become that rock/solid foundation for you, especially when things in life become crazy/unstable. Those are people who help us live life. That is why I try to avoid people who are negative. They only try to bring you down. That brings me into my next quote about being around successful people. “Successful people build each other up. They motivate, inspire, and push each other. Unsuccessful people just hate, blame, and complain.” That is why I try to surround myself with good people/people who are going somewhere. Yeah, you may have some people who may not be going anywhere, but that is because they are temporarily stuck. Know the difference between those people and those people who never want to get unstuck or out of that situation.

I just want to thank those people in my life as well as those people who play a significant part in other people’s lives because we would not be where we are without them there supporting us every step of the way. No matter what life throws our way, we hang onto people and as unexpected as they may be, they are still there. This brings me to a quote I have come to appreciate and love a lot more. “There will be storms, child, there will be storms. And with each tempest, you will seem to stand alone against cruel winds; but with time, the rage and fury shall subside. And when the sky clears, you will find yourself clinging to someone, you would have never known, but for storms.” In other words, sometimes storms bring us those kinds of people who end up meaning the world to us. All we can do is to hold onto those people tight. Since this post is a topic I have a strong interest in, I am including at least a couple of pieces here.

Helping Hand

Reach your hand out and I will pull you up
By the bootstraps. When think that your cup
Is half way empty, I will fill it back to the top.
When your life is coming to a dead stop
And red light, it is turning green again.
When you are tired because the rain
And storm keeps coming, just pause for
A moment so I can catch up when the door
Closes. You do not need to thank me because
In all those times when I could not get my jaws
To work to form words or good thoughts
You were there to untangle the knots
And have everything running smoothly
Again. Darling, you are always going to truly
Be my guardian angel when I am your rock.
I know that you are not the one to mock
My insecurities because you have some of
Your own. It when you showed me what love
Really was, being there for someone else and
Being there for yourself too no matter if the sand
Tries to sink you down with it. I always made
That promise to uplift you when you felt weighed
Down. I promised to show support and grace
Even when you did not deserve it. Your face
Is the one I picture seeing for the rest of our days,
Forever. I will walk with you through the maze.

When Life Is a Storm

Life was beginning to blow over and was falling apart.
It is when some higher power was leading me right to
You in the middle of it all. The darkness in your heart
Was outweighed heavily by the storm around you.

You did not want to let anybody in because of all that
You were going through, but I was continuously
Changing your mind. You wanted to give up and flat
Line, but I got you back to living. I got you seriously
Thinking about life again. Darling, it is not always about
The clouds and the storms, but how we get through them
Even on a good day. It was during every single blowout
When you held onto me. I was your constant steady drum.

It was the laugh, the smile, and kind words that you said
Saved you. It was during the rain that you said I was
Your rock. I was your breath of fresh air when you bled
Out all over the floor right below us. It was because
Of the times when life’s storm threw you hard
That I got to truly know you and you became my lucky card.

Growing Up

Growing up…something that is terrifying to think about because when we used to be kids we wanted to be a grown up and when you grow up all you want to do is to be a kid again. For some reason it just happens that way because sometimes we want the opposite. However, some of us can still try to be kids on the inside. There is a quote I want to throw in here, which is super deep and meaningful by the way. “Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero? Race issues were who ran the fastest, war was only a card game. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and good byes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up.” Sometimes we don’t have to grow up that quickly. Anyways, there are certain situations and things we go through that make us grow up, sometimes rather quickly. For me that situation came when I applied for college and decided to attend college outside of California. People took one look at me and thought I was crazy, but also courageous. I made that decision because I was ready for change and that is a part of growing up. Sometimes as we grow up we are ready for different things, places and people. That is also a part of growing up.

During those days of college I learned a lot about myself and was for the most part, able to make my own decisions. I made the choices who I made friends with, what classes I took, etc. I was learning how to be financially stable which is still a struggle, but I am learning. A lot of those things in my mind are all a part of growing up. That certain situation might be different for someone else. That is also a time where you find out who you are and what you want because that could have been different from the time when you were younger. A part of growing up is sometimes doing things you did not do before or losing people you were once close too. In other words, we outgrow those things and people. I want to thank those of you who have been there while I have been growing because they have never left my side. I even want to thank those who left me too because those people taught me a lot. That brings me into my next quote. “Whether you pushed me or pulled me, drained me or fueled me, loved me or left me, hurt me or helped me, you are a part of my growth and no kidding, I ‘thank you’!” You all are really a part of my growth, no matter what.

Another time that made me grow up was simply going from a girl to a woman and that was also when I turned 21 when I was in college. We go through all those changes when we grow up and although I am now past 21, it still feels like I am growing up every day. I do not think that growing up phase ever truly goes away. Someone may want to argue with me about that, but it is whatever. When you grow up you lose things, but growing up also may mean to keep some things and to also gain things. In addition to growing up we also grow, which is pretty much the same thing as growing up. It is just without the up part. We let things grow and blossom. I want to include this quote because it all the things we go through growing up. “As you grow up, your priorities change, nights out are swapped for nights in, your circle gets smaller and games, drama, and partying every weekend just aren’t fun anymore. You get to a point where it’s quality over quantity, like your your career, your relationships, your family and YOU! You want quality now. Something that’s yours, something real, something you can grow, something you’re proud of. As you grow up, you want a future, not just a for now. As you grow up things change, YOU change… and you start to like it that way.” This poem I included is a reminder for all of my readers that it is okay to grow/grow up because all things and people grow up, whether it is plants, people, feelings, etc.

Growing Up Into a Woman

Darling, I hope that you dry your tears
That you cry when you go to sleep at night.
Believe you are stronger than your fears
And that you are still the endless light
That glows. You are no longer that little girl,
But you are still a fighter and growing up
To become something more than a pearl.
You never lost your ability to see that the cup
Is still half way full. You are a good woman with
Optimism, magic and hope at your fingertips.
You have to be more than that fable, myth
And fairy tale. You write your own scripts
And stories. You are someone’s wonder
And super woman, but you do not belong to
Them. You may trip, but you never slip under
Because you are someone who is always true.

Never Wait Too Long

First of all, before I dive into today’s subject/topic I just want to take a quick break for a second to wish all the moms out there a happy Mother’s Day. Whatever mom you are, whether you are a single mom, adoptive mom, foster mom, step mom, those first time mothers, those trying to be mothers, those who have lost their moms, etc. we appreciate you all. Thanks for being inspirational and a part of our lives. We really would not be here without you. Thank you for being teachers, showing love, guiding the way, being role models, etc. I am lucky enough to have 2 moms. My birth/first mom: thank you for being my mom and doing what you do. My second/east coast mom: thank you for taking me under your wing and for supporting me throughout college/beyond. I hope everybody else takes the time to show appreciation towards their mom. It is something I will talk a little bit about in this post. Thanks for tuning in. Here we are, back to talking about today’s original topic/subject.

I know that I recently just talked about timing and fate in one of my recent posts. Furthermore, I want to dive right into something that ties in with that subject matter. I know that I have said that timing is everything. On the other hand, you cannot just sit around and wait too long. Sometimes by the time you stop wait and take a chance to something, that opportunity may be already passing by. In other words, it would be too late to take that shot and chance. I got a quote that fits perfectly into what I am talking about. “The good ones go if you wait too long.” In other ones, the good opportunities and chances go quickly if you wait too long. Remember when I talked about taking chances? Yep, that is what I am talking about. You have to take those shots and chances, even if it does not work out.

What also happens when you take too long, especially in telling people how you feel about them, especially with someone you really like is that someone else can come along and take your spot. In other words, someone else can come along and by then it would be too late for you to do anything. That brings me into my next quote. “Maybe one day, I’ll be what you need. But don’t wait too long, because the day you want me, may be the day I’ve finally given up.” Think about it this way, if you tell someone how you feel and you never know if they feel the same way. The best case scenario is that they can like you right back or the worst case scenario is that they do not feel the same way. Either way at least you go in knowing that you at least tried.

I know that people are told to “wait it out,” especially when it comes to feelings and things along those lines. Yes, in some situations waiting is super important, but a lot of the time you really should not wait. That is why I try to show appreciation for the people in my life. What happens if you do not show your appreciation/gratitude and then they die or something? They will die not knowing how much they meant to you, regardless if they felt the same way about you. Even if you had bitter experiences with them, it is better to be safe than sorry later down the road. This brings me right into this next quote. “Say it before you run out of time. Say it before it’s too late. Say what you’re feeling. Waiting is a mistake.” Even if you are afraid to say it, you should definitely say it all. That opportunity may never come to ever again.

Never Wait Too Long

Do not get all caught up in the hype of
Physical beauty when it should matter
About the goodness inside. That is not love
If you care about if a person is a mad hatter
Rather than loyal and kind. The truth is that
Some of the best people are a little crazy
And weird. Not everyone is always what
They seem. They could be like a daisy,
Ordinary or like a rose, beautiful but full
With thorns. You cannot always avert
From the truth and they can either pull
You in like a magnet or leave you in the desert
For days. It is your decision to make,
But make it wise and strong because
Once you make it you cannot take
It back. You may be missing out on what was
A good woman with kindness and understanding
In her heart versus a woman whose looks will
Eventually fade away. She will be commanding
Your attention, but not with the full spill
Of emotions and feelings to come with it.
She will make you feel empty when you got
What you came for. Only then will you admit
That you miss that woman who long forgot
You and is the company of someone who never
Took her for granted. She waited but not for too
Long. You know she is too good for whatever
Level you are at. In the end, she never needed you.

Timing and Fate

Sometimes people say timing is everything. I am going to dive right in and mention a quote right away. “Timing is everything. If it’s meant to happen, it will, at the right time for the right reasons.” However, timing can also suck big time, especially when it comes to people and certain situations. For example, you might meet the perfect person, but it is at a time when it just does not look or feel right. On the other hand you might meet the wrong type of person at the right time. It does not matter in regards to who this person might be because they could be a friend or something else.

The same things go for certain situations. For example, you might get the perfect job but it happens at the wrong time and vice versa where you get the wrong job at the right time. It rarely happens when you meet the right person at the right time or being in the right situation at the right time, etc. Remember way back when I was talking about patience? That can also apply to timing. You just have to put your trust and faith in timing because like I said before timing can either be for or against you. You sometimes have the urge to throw it all away and give up because it does not work out or it is taking too long. You know the saying if you stop searching it will come to you? I like to be reminded of that because I know people tend to forget and put that towards the back of their minds.

I am putting fate right into this post as well because although some people may not see the connection between the two, it is nevertheless important to make that link. I know that I keep on bringing up these sayings that people are familiar with, but bear with me as I am giving you another one. There is a saying that goes something like this. If it is meant to be (fate) it will come back or something like that. I think this quote can say it better than what I was trying to say in my own words. “Fate does not care about plans. If something is meant to be, it will be. I don’t know about you, but I am a firm believer in fate. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes the reasons aren’t very clear. Some we find out almost immediately, and some we live our whole lives trying to figure out. Why you met someone, why you lost someone, why things happened the way they did. I’m constantly thinking about this. But ultimately, I know that everything ends just the way it’s mean to. Nothing I can do can change the outcome. It always ends well, and if it doesn’t…well, it’s just not the end. It’s that simple.” Fate in other words is when something happens for a reason.

Now that I look at that quote, I realized how much it ties in to the very first one in this post. There is so much more that said about fate, but I will leave it at that because people either believe in fate or not and that is perfectly okay. I am not trying to change anybody’s viewpoint because I am just trying to being respectful while teaching people things they do not know or are not familiar with. I just want to leave you all with at least one more quote. “And if you really need him, fate won’t let you lose him. Fate will bring him back. It may not be soon, but he will come back.” This goes for any person you can think of. Timing and fate are really that important sometimes. I also want to note here for my readers that fate does not always bring someone back because they are simply not your fate. Someone else might be later down that road. I want my readers to realize that and to also realize that you cannot always let fate decide for you. Sometimes you have to make that decision. Here is a poem or two to get you believing in timing and fate all over again, even if you are a non-believer. My final bit of advice would be to be ready for it, whenever it does come your way. Sometimes you might not want to let go. Cheers.

Fate

I know in my head that it is not meant
To be and happen right now,
But some day you might be sent
Back into my life. Somehow
Timing and fate works out.
That should not stop you from
Moving on temporarily. Never doubt
That you should feel sad because some
Day you will find happiness either
With or without me. if you find it
Without me then I will gladly leave
You alone because you deserve every bit
Of it as much as I do. I cannot let you heave
It up the hill alone. If someone else brings
That smile to your face and you get tired
Of the pain I will leave your wings
Intact. You do not deserve to be undesired
Because you are the one person who
Has the ability to make the world both
Bright and holy enough to be lead to the pew.
You deserve everything that gives you growth
And strength. They say timing sucks, but that
Is for the weak hearted. They say fate is for
The fairy tales and myths, but fate is for what
Makes us believe in them again. Let it all soar
High above your heads. Things happen
For all of the right and wrong reasons.
You should never let anything dampen
Your spirits. Fate is in all the seasons.

Healing

You know the saying “time heals all wounds?” Sometimes I wonder where that expression comes from, but let’s not worry about that too much. Sometimes time does heal all wounds, sometimes it heals some wounds and sometimes it does not heal any wounds. It just works out that way for whatever reason. Let us not worry about time that heals wounds because there are other things that heal wounds and scars. For me that would be words, music, writing, reading and poetry all together. For other people they find other ways to heal including therapy, being busy, etc.

There is this quote I found that rings so true for the healing process. “Everything heals. Your body heals. Your heart heals. The mind heals. Wounds heal. Your soul repairs itself. Your happiness is always going to come back. Bad times don’t last.” In other words, we all have something that needs healing, whether it is mentally or physically or emotionally or any other versions of healing you can imagine or think of. That quote is pretty much saying that almost everything can and will heal over a period of time or however long it takes. I want to point that out because everybody’s healing process is different. For some people it can only take days and for other people it could take weeks, months and sometimes even years to heal fully.

As I have said before and as that quote points out even your happiness will find a way to come back. Happiness has a way of healing as well just like almost everything else. Healing is a process and is something that takes time. It is something that you have to work on every single day, no matter what. Leon Brown says that “Healing is not an overnight process. It is a daily cleansing of pain, it is a daily healing of your life.” That goes for healing when you are in recovery from whatever issues you might have. As I have said before it takes time to heal. It also takes patience and trust because you cannot rush the process. Healing is one of the hardest things to do and is not that easy for the most part. Just stick with it and you may turn out to see something beautiful in the end. Just hang in there. Cheers!! Here is a poem to celebrate the healing process.

Healing

The words heal the heartache.
It erases the everlasting pain.
There is never any mistake

In the feelings. The words stain
The pages like blood and ink.
The flow replaces the rain

And tears. Everything I think
Hard about come alive in
The rhythm. I no longer sink

And relive every bad sin.
I am floating in the clouds.
I feel alive in my own skin.

Get me away from the crowds
And into my own quiet space.
Let the words become shrouds

And shields of armor. Trace
Over your story with your pen.
Let the gentleness and lace

Like pattern tell you when
To open up your heart. You
Will be able to fully heal again.

Insecurities and Doubts

It is something that comes up a whole lot, whether we realize it or not. That would be insecurities and doubts. Maybe I was inspired by one of Beyoncé’s songs “Pretty Hurts” where she sings about “Pretty hurts/Shine the light on whatever’s worse/Perfection is the disease of a nation/Pretty hurts/Shine the light on whatever’s worse/Tryna fix something/But you can’t fix what you can’t see/It’s the soul that needs the surgery..” Girls and young woman are always taught that you need to be pretty because nothing else should matter. I am not taking away from the fact that boys do not have insecurities, but when you open a magazine who do you see? Female models, most of whom are skinny and thin. Sure, people tell you to also embrace your curves.

I am tired of hearing that girls should be pretty like a barbie dolls with the perfect hair, the right clothes and makeup. Girls and boys are getting different messages. It should be okay for females to be tomboys and for guys to feel like they should not “masculine.” In some of the lyrics of Colbie Caillat’s “Try” she sings “You don’t have to try so hard/You don’t have to, give it all away/You just have to get up, get up, get up, get up/You don’t have to change a single thing/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try, try, try, try/You don’t have to try/You don’t have to try…” Remember when I talked about being yourself? Well, it applies here too. Sometimes we try so hard to be someone else when we should be ourselves. Stop listening to those who think you are not pretty or beautiful or smart or dumb enough. In other words, stop paying attention to society. They, for the most part do not know what they are talking about.

Insecurities are all in your head because you create them based on what you hear. They are those voices in our head that are quiet but are loud enough for us to listen to. Here is a quote which says “Confidence is loud. Insecurities are loud.” In other words, try to have more confidence while trying to not have insecurity. I know that it is hard. Shut it up, whatever it takes because you should believe that you are simply good enough. Heck, you should surround yourself with people who think you are good enough as well. Insecurities for the most part are a part the negativity you should ignore and should not be a part of. I know there are tons of quotes about insecurity out there, but I will leave you with one that rings true for a lot of us. “Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities.” In other words, never let your insecurities hold you back from pursuing whatever it is that you want, including people/relationships you want, etc. It may also stop you from going after what you want.

I know that a lot of my insecurities come from the fact that I thought I was not like anybody else. I was never really a girly girl or cared too much about my appearance. Sometimes it did not help that I had a sister and friends who are beautiful. I stopped trying to compare myself to them a long time ago. Some insecurities also come from when I did theater/acting because I felt like I was never good enough compared to those who got the parts and are great actors/actresses. I was never one of those people who got the parts. I have to stop myself from those who have had years and years of experience acting. I am nothing like them. I am good at what I do in my own way. I want my readers to take the same lesson. Stop comparing yourself to others and remember that you are good enough. Insecurities should not be listened to. I know rejection sucks and it is one thing I am terrified of, but you have to realize that you did try. My final thought is to let go of insecurity or at least we should try to, no matter how hard it may be in the end. Here are two poems for you, my readers, to enjoy.

Silencing Insecurities

Never believe their twisted lies
Whenever you look into the mirrors
Because you want to be the girl who tries

To fight through it all. They are the killers
On the inside. You are pretty but
Are you strong enough for your pillars?

Do you have enough grit to get out of the rut?
You just have to keep digging through the dirt
To find the diamond. You may want to strut

Around, but sometimes being beautiful will hurt
With the shards of the broken glass down
Your throat. Being perfect does nothing to advert

From insecurity. You have the whole town
And world thinking you are a confident
Pageant queen while smiling when you frown

When you are alone. The devil is the occupant
Within your head that tells you that you are never
Going to be enough. Take every compliment

With pride and dignity. Get rid of and sever
Every voice that always says no instead of yes.
Darling, you have to be the one to pull that lever

And watch it all go down the drain. Bless
Every flaw and blemish. Do not hate your skin
Or think that you are a complete mess

Even on days when you do not feel thin
Enough because someone will love all of that.
Only then will you finally feel like you will win.

Stereotypical Girl

Lose the extra pound.
Try harder. Push harder.
Gain some more weight.
You look too skinny.
You look too fat.
Straighten your hair.
Embrace your natural
Hair. Wear contact lenses
Because that is what
Everyone else does.
Wear glasses, even if
They are fake and unreal.
You want to look smart.
Do not wear too much makeup,
Otherwise you will look like
A clown. Some is better
Than none. Get your nails
Done. Go shopping at the
Mall. Wear tight clothes.
Wear loose clothing.
Be proud of your natural
Looks. Do not get fooled
By the stereotypes thrown
Your way just because
You are a girl in this world.

Being a Warrior, Queen and Fighter All Together

Looking at the title of this post, I am sure that you are scratching your head wondering, what the heck?! Yes, they all have relation to one another. How so, you might ask. They are all strong and come back when they are knocked down. There is a reason why I grouped them all together, including this quote I found, from r.h. Sin, one of my favorite writers/poets and I know that there are a lot more great quotes about this subject. “heavy is the crown and yet she wears it as if it were a feather. there is strength in her heart, determination in her eyes and the will to survive resides within her soul. she is you. a warrior, a champion, a fighter, a queen.” I know that we all have this strength within us or a will to get back up and keep fighting. I was also inspired to write about this because I have had a strong interest in kickboxing, especially since I took a kickboxing class when I was in college. Naturally, I think I am a fighter so I know that other people are. I am lucky, I know, but I am still determined and work hard. I try my best to embody all of these. Other people probably do the same.

We have to be all of these people, although we really do not have to be a warrior, queen or a fighter. What I am saying is that although you do not have to be one of those kinds of people, I would say to have the mentality of one or all of those people. Be strong and fierce like a warrior. Have the confidence and wear the crown like the a queen. Get back up and keep going like a fighter. I know that we are all going through our own battles and fights, sometimes on a daily basis. We never give up and still just keep pushing, sometimes even through the pain.

There are some of us who are lucky enough to have people right there with us through it all including the pain, sadness, tears, scars, etc. They never try to change us, they are there to support us and to not tear us down. They let us be fighters, warriors, and queens, if we want to. I also want to inspire people by including lyrics to one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite human beings/singers, “Warrior” by Demi Lovato. Now I’m a warrior/I’ve got thicker skin/I’m a warrior/I’m stronger than I’ve ever been/And my armor, is made of steel, you can’t get in/I’m a warrior/And you can never hurt me again.” Since we have some slightly different subjects in here I will include more than one piece. I encourage my readers to keep fighting and be someone who never gives up. Cheers!!

Fighter

You see the scars and all the pain.
You still want me with it all anyways.
You let the tears that fall down stain

Our clothes and sheets. You gaze
At me and still love me no matter what
Happens. I always surprise and amaze

You every day. Even the punch in the gut
Does not phase you one bit. You say I am
A fighter, head held high. When I shut

Down and feel empty you open the dam
To let me feel everything with you right
There. On the days I when I want to slam

The door shut on you and take flight
You pick me up in your arms to show
Me how much you care. You are my light

And you never try to take away my glow.
I am not living in the shadows and doubt
Anymore. I am living every low

And high with you. I am never in this bout
And fight alone. You are in my corner.
They should know we would never bow out.

Like A Queen

Do not let them tell you a lie.
You are better than every dead
Flower at your feet. Do not cry

Because of despair. Keep your head
Up straight and keep walking because
You never realize you have rosy red

Lips like the queen of hearts. People’s jaws
Hit the ground because you are full of
Wonder and beauty. Continue the buzz

Following you everywhere. Shove
Aside the hatred and jealousy.
You are wonder woman. Endless love

Is in your heart. You have better clarity
About the world all around you.
People want to worship you endlessly

Because you have made it through
Every fire and storm still intact.
People have not realized you grew

Stronger because of it all. You are cracked
Below the surface and far from flawless
Like everybody else. You make an impact

On the world. You never get enough solace
Because people think of you as unbreakable.
Although you are bold, you are still cautious

With a presence that is unshakable.
And your life lessons are unmistakable.

Keeping Things Private

We live in a social media generation, especially for the newer generation. Social media can be great for keeping up with friends, staying up to date of what is going on, that is how some people get their news, and just overall broadcasting information to share. Social media can also become addictive and too informative, hence tmi which stands for too much information. There are days when I use social media a lot and there are days when I do not use it all that much. I know that it varies from person to person. Broadcasting your business does not mean necessarily doing it on social media like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. It could mean telling your friends, family and people you know.

I have learned that there are at least some things to stay private about. In fact, I believe there are at least three things that should be on the down low, which means that it is pretty much a secret and it stays between you/someone else or between you/yourself. Here is a quote explaining those three things. “Always keep your love life, bank account and next move private.” I happen to agree with it, especially as I have gotten older. I have made mistakes in terms of these, but I have gotten slightly better about them over the years. It is true that people begin speculating, but it is okay to let them speculate. The truth is that they do not have to know everything about you.

I think this is especially is important if you are in a romantic relationship because what happens if you are in a relationship, especially a new one, and something happens like you break up, but people know about it anyways. That is no good. It sometimes, in a sense, puts a jinx on your relationships. I made that mistake with my first and only boyfriend, so far. I have learned this from previous experience and my older sister has been a role model/inspiration. This also goes with almost everything in life. People should know some things about you, but you should keep some mystery. The only exception, my case and some other peoples cases is the best friend. This is the one person we tell almost everything to. She is one of the few people I trust completely. That person is the one exception, but sometimes there are things that person does not know and that is perfectly okay.

That is why you have to be careful who you tell your business to because yes, there are people who you can trust, but there are also people who you should never trust because they are just looking for gossip and rumors to be spread around. They want to get into your business. It is like being protective of yourself and setting up boundaries. It keeps yourself and sanity safe as well as protected. It is like protecting your identity and what you do. Yes, I do post some personal stuff, especially on this blog, but I do not talk about people specifically by name unless they are that important to me and when a lot of people know who they are. I guess all of this comes from having a big family, especially on my mom’s side of the family. I will leave you all with one more quote to sum it all up. “Nothing ever comes from too many people knowing your business. Being private and low-key is the best way to be.” Cheers everybody!

Keeping Things Private

Keeping things on the down low
Between you and me because
Not everybody has to know.

People try to sink their claws
Into us but they only want
The latest gossip. Their jaws

Hit the floor but nothing will haunt
Them more than not being able to
Know the real truth. Do not flaunt

What should stay private even when you
Make the next move, they should not always
Know that either. Protect what is brand new.

Let my complicated life be my maze.
I do not need people to enter their
Own commentary. It really pays

To be careful because some swear
To be faithful and secretive while others
Are just looking to pick you bare.