Tag: messy ties

Depression/Sadness/Anxiety

Just giving everybody a heads up on this deeply personal and emotional post. Depression….Sadness….Anxiety….These are all things that we have dealt with at some point or another because we have gone through them ourselves or we know people who suffer from them or a combination of both. Sadness is something that is pretty much self explanatory, so I am going to leave that one alone for now. I do not think people realize how terrifying and draining these are. “Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends but hate socializing. It’s wanting to be alone but not wanting to be lonely. It’s caring about everything but then caring about nothing. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.” You have these two conflicting emotions to deal with. I am not a complete expert on these subjects, but I have felt them at some point or another in my life because we are being honest here.

These are emotions and feelings that just take over. We cannot, for the most part, control what or how to feel in these situations. People have panic attacks and sometimes depression hits you at random times. You just have to ride out the waves and just realize they never go away completely. These go into the category of mental illnesses which are really serious. I highly encourage my readers to talk to a licensed professional if they or anybody they know has this illness, especially depression.

When it comes to this subject matter I hope people realize that they are not alone, myself included. Loving these people can be challenging, but have patience. They need as much help as they can get. The worst thing you can do is to tell them to get over it because the sad truth is that they cannot. Hang in there and do not forget to breathe, especially having anxiety. Never make fun of people who have mental illnesses ever and it is never something to be taken lightly. It is something that people have to deal with on a daily basis. Just know I am right there with you.

Letting Everything Take Over

What if I let the darkness take over and consume me?

Just for a moment the peace and quietness will take control

Over me. I can forget about my racing thoughts and I will see

 

That I am not that broken girl anymore. I will be whole

Again just for that frozen memory and time.

Every bit of sadness that washes over me stole

 

Every part of the happy girl I used to be. I cannot climb

To the top of the mountain anymore because I have lost

That battle. The demons have won. I feel every bit of grime

 

Stuck on me. It is like living in a nightmare and holocaust

Every day of my existence. I try to always follow

The crowd. I have been looked over and have been tossed

 

Away just because I always look happy. I am so hollow

And empty on the inside, but nobody ever wants to truly

See that. They cannot stand to see me wallow

 

I get asked “Are you okay?” I have to answer them coolly

That I am perfectly okay when we both know that everything

Is not below the surface. I have no sense of my natural beauty.

Why I Write

I have been writing poetry for as long as I could remember. I date it back to middle school when we wrote poems for English class. It has stuck with me ever since then. I always credit my 8th grade English teacher, Mr. Rose, for encouraging me to keep writing. People must wonder why I write, especially poetry.

The answer is very complex, but it makes sense to people who are the closest to me and it obviously makes complete sense to one person…That person would be me. I do not write poetry just for the heck of it, although I write a lot when I have nothing else to do. I write it for myself. I write it because it helps me make sense of what I am feeling, especially deep down inside. For other people, it is like writing in a journal or listening to music. It is therapeutic and soothing.

As a person who is, for the most part shy, unless she is around people she really knows, it has always been an important part of my life… the writing of poetry. I know that I have a hard time expressing how I feel, especially out loud and writing poetry has helped me break out of that shell. Writing is the best way to say what I need to say without feeling bad about it. In fact, it feels rewarding and freeing, especially if I am dealing with a bad situation or if I am otherwise weighted down. I write regardless if I am happy, sad, angry, mad, frustrated, etc. It is my way of coping with everything. I always try to carry around a notepad and pencil just in case if I get any inspiration. I even write notes on my iPhone.

In this world, you do not necessarily have to be a poet or a writer. As David Carradine says “If you cannot be a poet, be the poem.” In other words, we can all be writers and poets, but it matters more what you write and the content because it shows we have something to say or at least that is how I interpret that quote. People can disagree with me all they want to. I am leaving it open to interpretation.

To be a poet/writer you have to be open, especially to criticism, the ability to have guts and being vulnerable. That is what makes your writing better and more honest. I feel like honesty is the best policy. You choose what you get to write about. Natalie Goldberg says “Write about what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” In conclusion, when you are writer and Natalie is saying this as well, you have to be fearless and be willing to anything/everything. So I strongly encourage all of my readers to write, draw or whatever it is that expresses who you are and what you have to say. I promise you that it will be worthwhile in the end. It gives you a chance to be yourself or you can be someone else like in theatre and acting. That is the reason why I like theatre as well. There are simply no rules and you can do it any way you want to. Here are two pieces just to show similarities and differences. Enjoy!!

Writing

I get so lost in the words that I write.

The rest of the world fades away as

The words spill out like ink on paper

And beautiful images begin forming.

I do not notice the daylight bleeding

Into the darkness. Everybody talks

Their solitude and this is mine.

The paper listens to me and my pen

Is waiting for my command.

Here, nobody tells me the rules

Or how to write or what to write.

I listen to what my head and my

Heart tell me. Every story comes

To life and it captivates me.

 

Spilled Words

Words spilling out on a blank piece

Of canvas and images tumbling

Out. The doubt will stop and cease

 

Just for a moment. Thoughts stumbling

And lagging behind are catching up to

Me. Things that were once crumbling

 

To the floor like ash are rising up to you,

The one who never truly understands

Unless you know me. My long-lasting blue

 

Sky is different than yours. The strands

Running through my fingertips would never

Make sense to you. Hang onto my hands

 

So you know what I feel, but forever

Feels like a long time ago. Catch onto my

Every word. It will take however

 

Long it needs to for you to get why I cry

And the reasons why I write. Everything

I create are my friends. They make me less shy.

Being Yourself

I know that it is a topic that I have talked about in so many of my blog posts, but it deserves its own category and it is something that I will always continue to talk about since it is something that is very important to me. That would be being yourself. We are born into this world and I have to admit that sometimes it takes some time to figure out who you are. It also takes some time to figure out what you want to do. I remember a while back ago, I am pretty sure it was about a year ago, I was talking to this person who I know who said to me “You’re you.” I sat there and thought about it… I did not truly understand what this person meant. So in fact I asked them pretty much what that means. This person said “You’re you, but your personality is so much more.” In other words, you have to be yourself and your own person. You cannot lose your personality and what makes you who you are, especially to please other people. In fact, you should not be around those people if they cannot appreciate who you really are.

I am digging back into Mandy Hale, one of my many heroes, who says “Just be yourself. Let people see the real, imperfect, flawed, quirky, weird, beautiful, magical person that you are.” What Mandy is saying is that we have to be ourselves and we have to let people see who we really are, even if we have imperfections we do want them to see. We all have quirks, imperfections and things that only make us unique. You cannot be anybody else because as Oscar Wilde says…”Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.” Live in your own skin and your own body. I encourage all of my readers to be themselves. It is truly the only person we can be. Enjoy the following poem.

Be Yourself

Live in your own body and skin.
Nobody can live the life you can.
It is your blessing and your sin.

You are always better than
Those who pretend to be
Someone else. Always ban

Negative flow. Fit your key
Into you own lock and open
It wide. You are not me

Or he or she. You are not a token
In someone else’s pocket. You
Are not the words spoken

By someone else. Be true
To the person you become.
Be flawed. Be one of the rare few

Who will always come from
A deeply rooted place.
Be full with life, not just some.

Always fill in, color and trace
Your own lines. Remember
That you have your own face.

Guardian Angels/Faith

First of all, I want to wish everybody a happy 2017. This is my first post of the new year. Let us dive right into it. Growing up in a household with a Jewish dad and a Catholic mom has been interesting not only because they are not practicing, but also because my parents have never forced us to choose a religion. They let us make our own decisions when it comes to that. I have never been a strong believer in God or anything like that. However, that does not mean I do not believe in things like guardian angels, etc. I believe that there is someone out there looking after me and if it was not for my guardian angel I would not be here. When people think of a guardian angel they (like myself) automatically believe it to be an actual person, but in my mind it does not necessarily mean it is an actual person. It can be something as simple as a voice you can hear inside of your head.

Angels, whether they are people or voices or objects, are there to ward off evil/bad things. They remind you that there is goodness/light no matter if there is a lot or a little darkness in life. They give you that hope and a reason to hang on. They give you balance and may help restore whatever faith you have. It does not matter what or who you believe in, just know that you always have someone/something watching over you no matter where you are. Somehow, angels are among us. I have also included a quote to remind us of that. “Angels live among us. Sometimes they hide their wings, but there is no disguising the peace and hope they bring.” They are, as this poem reminds us all, our protector/guardian. I hope that this new year brings everybody hope and some kind of faith. Just know that nobody can ever take those away from you. Since we are on the subject here, I will include another poem, below the one I have already included.

This angel in the picture up above was given to me by my 2nd mom after I got my driver’s license back in September and helped, in a sense, with this poem I wrote.

Guardian Angel

What the hell am I going to do?
When the world all around me
Is a mess and I can only think of you

My guardian angel, who will see
The good in me even when I
Am not seeing it. I want to feel free

Without the burdens. Every tear I cry,
You take them away with everything
That is feeling heavy. You fly

Me to a safer place. I want to cling
To you and that protection. During
My darkest times you bring

Me endless light that I find alluring
And peaceful. That voice, telling
Me that I can do this, the reassuring

One in my head is saying to stop dwelling
On the past, on mistakes, on the low-level
Thoughts, and to start living. Stop selling

My soul and heart over to the devil
In disguise. He wants to see me fall apart
Just like the world and wants to revel

In my weakness. My pulsing heart
Is still intact in my angel’s hands.
She is giving me a new start

Every day and when I cannot stand
Anymore. She is my strength, light,
Anchor, protector, and a rubber band,

Keeping everything together tight.
She is my guide through every
Storm, rough wave, and dark night.

P.S. I won a contest with the above poem on a website I have been a part of for a while, called Deep Underground Poetry. The contest theme was angelic protector.

Our Own Version of Faith

I do not pray to the same God as you,
But I still carry that faith and hope
With me like the heavy load. Through

Every hard time, I hang onto the rope
Like a miracle. Somewhere up there
An angel is watching, trying to cope

With brokenness. I will not bear
Anybody else’s crosses except for
My own. You have a prayer

Spilling out of your lips. Save it before
You go preaching to someone who will
Never accept it. I have my own door

To open and walk through. Keep still
While others are feeding you made
Up lies. I hope that you continue to fill

Yourself up with love and every blade
Of grass running through your finger
Tips. Never let those moments fade

Away. Never let your hatred linger
Behind, even when you do not agree
With someone else. Imagine the bigger

Picture of the world. It is more than me
And it is more than you. It is not just
Black and white anymore. It is we

And us. Everything can be discussed
And heard.  Everything could be argued.
How can we ever have such distrust?

Being Open To New Possibilities/Chances

Just a little backstory before I dive right into it… When I was little, I used to be a picky eater by eating a whole lot of plain food plus my parents used to cook me a separate meal and I did not enjoy super spicy food. I fast forward as I got older and that slowly began to change. I felt like it got better when I went off to college and after I graduated from college. I remind my parents that they no longer have to cook a separate meal and I eat whatever I am served. There are still some things I refuse to eat and my taste buds have changed. I still will not eat super spicy food, but some spice is okay. What is the whole point to this? I know that I have talked about to never make assumptions and I think I also talked about keeping an open mind. That is what I am getting into.

I was also just talking to someone I know and I was explaining to her about a situation I am in right now, but I am not giving too many details. As I was explaining to her what was happening, she said to never shut out new possibilities. In the back of my mind, I was thinking about times where I say yes, even in situations where you should say no. However, I would say to be respectful of your boundaries, so if you need to say no or maybe go ahead and do so. There is nothing wrong with that, but that is not what I am talking about here. I have learned, especially a lot recently, to be open to any possibilities, regardless if you are unsure. You may never know where you will end up going. It could turn out great or maybe not so great after all.

This brings me to a quote that I found which perfectly relates to what I am talking about. “Today, open yourself up to new opportunities. Be accepting and ready for all of the wonderful possibilities that are coming your way… Your time to bloom is now.” There is no day like the present for new things because new things are for the most part good, especially when it feels like you need a change or more adventures. Even if they do not work out, they still teach you something. Maybe I am thinking about this with the new year arriving, although this may be my first post of the new year. I am strongly encouraging my readers to taking chances and to be open to new possibilities/opportunities. I challenge everybody, including myself, to making it one of the many New Year’s resolutions. Always have that voice in your head that says you can do this, no matter what happens. I am including two poems in this post today.

Something New

Goodbye to the bad habits I am trying
To get rid of forever. I am not going to
Live my life in the past while crying

 

Over something I cannot change. You
Try to keep me down, but I never need
People who do not need me. The new

And fresh start to something is a seed
Of hope. There is a better version of me
Somewhere inside. The desire to succeed

Is overwhelming and I know that I can see
Myself blossoming into one of those flowers
I love so much. I am stronger than the tree

Roots. I am rising up taller than the towers
And skyscrapers. Something is out there
The horizon. I am taking what is ours,

What we built and began. The clean air
Surrounds us and there is a new beginning.
All I can do is to send out a prayer.

 

New Chances

New possibilities, both new and old.

Never shut yourself out from the cold

Because it will make you appreciate

The warmth a bit more. Never wait

For anything to catch up with you

Just like you cannot wait to be through

With old doors before opening new ones.

Darling, you cannot be the one who outruns

The fresh chances that come your way.

You have to sometimes try to stray

From the path just a bit to learn to say yes.

Life is still always going to be a mess

In the end. This is your chance to shine,

Bloom and to be the first one in line

This time without being second best.

I know that you are weary and need a rest,

But you have this handled because this

Is your year. This only your bliss.

 

P.S. As the new year (2017) is upon us as of tomorrow (the 1st of January), I want to wish everybody a happy new year and I hope that you have a great start to the new year. Thanks for continuing to show me your support, as this blog (Messyties) is turning a year old. Thank you all so much. I hope the new year brings you all good things. I am leaving you all with another quote since this one is special for the new year and it is said by Rainer Maria Rilke. She says “And we welcome the new year, full of things that have never been.” I hope that everybody opens their heart to new things for the new year.

All Things Long Distance

When I first think of long distance, I think of something along the lines of a long distance phone call or a long distance relationship. However, after thinking about it for a while longer, it goes far beyond that because you can also have a long distance friendship or relationship with family members. I remember when I was in college (on the East Coast), I had that kind of relationship with my friends and family who were out here in California. Now I am dealing with the same kind of thing over here with my friends and people who are like family to me on the East Coast. Long distance is one of the most challenging and difficult things to deal with. You do not always get to see them as much as you used to (it even happens sometimes when friends and family are close by too).

Luckily, I have not been in a long distance relationship (even though I have been pretty close to having one a couple of times with my first boyfriend and a guy I was “dating”). Like I said before, anything long distance can be challenging and extremely difficult. It takes a lot of strength, courage and a lot of patience. It is not for everybody (I know that), but also you go through so many obstacles it may (or may not) be worth it in the end. I know that I would learn so much from having one of those kinds of relationships. Sometimes those kinds of relationships/friendships are better than the other ones (I am lucky enough to have those who are far away and also close by). You cannot help but miss them.

I searched high and low (because I just did not want to focus on just long distance relationships, as in romantic relationships) for a great quote. I think that I found a pretty good one. “You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That’s the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.” I love that quote so much because wherever we go (whether it is across the United States or outside of this country) we always meet amazing people and they can sometimes become that person who means a lot to us. I am thinking of this long distance, especially with more of the holidays coming up (like Christmas, Hanukkah, New Year’s, etc.) because those holidays are about being together and sharing many moments together. Sometimes it is hard to celebrate because family, friends and others are not right there besides you physically, but for the most part they are there with you mentally.

This serves as reminder to my readers and everybody else to cherish those moments with people who are right besides you because you will never find anybody as special as them. Furthermore, do not forget about those who may seem far away because you will (eventually) see them again. Do not forget to cherish those moments (whenever you see them) with those people as well. Nobody said long distance was going to be easy, but you just have to hang in there. I wish everybody happy holidays. May you have a Merry Christmas, a happy New Year (and whatever else it is that you all celebrate). And like I said before, not all things last forever. In this case, long distance does not always last forever. Enjoy this poem.

Long Distance

You are running through my mind,
But there is nothing I can do about
It with you so far away. I am blind
To what people say. It is like a drought,
Parched and dried up with little hope
Left for the rain. I want to shout

 

That life is not fair. This frayed rope
Is all that I have left to hang onto just
Barely. How am I supposed to cope?

How am I supposed to survive? We must
Fight for whatever is left, although I
Just want to give up. I put my full trust

Into you. I suppose that I could lie
And tell you that I do not want this
Anymore, but all we can do is still try.

We are supposed to be getting bliss
And happiness, but it is all on trial.
We are still in this endless abyss.

With all the distance and every mile
That is between us, there is audacity.
I may never want to live in denial

Ever again. This takes a lot of tenacity
And lots of hard work, but somewhere
Deep inside it takes us our full capacity.

Being Confident In Who You Are

Confidence, especially in who you are is a very and extremely important thing to have, especially as a woman in this society. People always tell us to be beautiful (because apparently that is how women are supposed to be), but being a woman is more than that. Confidence is being able to have full trust and belief (especially in oneself). We call that self-confidence and that is just as important. Lack of self-confidence is a whole another story. In other words, if you do not have self-confidence, that is no good. Being strong, confident, and working hard all go hand in hand.

Some people might say that having confidence can make you an ego maniac and arrogant (in fact, I think the word people might use in this instance is the b**** word). That is by the way not a nice word to use (at least in my books). In my mind there is nothing wrong with being overly confident (even in Demi’s song “Confident”, she asks “What’s wrong with being confident?) The answer to that question is absolutely nothing. I would rather be viewed as overly confident, rather than not having any confidence (trust me when I say that we can all work on our confidence). We should never have to worry if other people like us or not (it is not our responsibility to make them like us to begin with). This is the perfect moment to bring up a quote. “Confidence isn’t walking into a room with your nose in the air, and thinking you’re better than everyone else, it’s walking into a room and not having to compare yourself to anybody else to begin with.” I know that I have talked about never comparing yourself to other people and that is almost exactly what the right confidence does (which is not being better than anybody else).

That is why I have good role models who are confident like Beyoncé and Demi Lovato. They really do not care who likes them. I think it is because they have so much confidence in themselves that they really stop caring about others (and that does not make them selfish). They are strong, confident, independent and hard working women. In fact, besides Demi, Beyoncé has written some pretty wonderful songs about that, including “Singe Ladies (Put a Ring On It).” I just recently got her “Lemonade” album (just a little while ago) and I absolutely love it. Sure, she put her marriage on blast, but she sings a lot about what it is like to being a strong, independent, and confident woman (especially as an African American woman). I like her songs such as “Freedom” (with Kendrick Lamar) and “Formation,” but one of my favorite is “Six Inch” (which has inspired this poem that I have included down below in this post). In this song (if you really listen to the lyrics) she talks about working hard for the money. One of my lines in this song is “Six inch heels, she walked in the club like nobody’s business/
Goddamn, she murdered everybody and I was her witness.”

I decided to channel my inner Beyoncé and wrote this poem because Beyoncé is so inspirational. It helped to channel my inner persona (almost like a diva or an ego kind of in a sense). When I posted this piece as a member of Deep Underground Poetry (a writing community), a person who commented on it brought up a quote (a good one that is now one of my favorites) by Anaïs Nin. She says “The first time he looked at her he felt: everything will burn.” So I hope that my readers (and everybody else) will channel their inner Beyoncé (or whoever they look up to) and having tons of self-confidence.

Working Hard

She can set everything on fire,
But she would never stop and take
Notice. She only feels her own desire

For success. She wants to make
Every man feel weak and powerless.
She is never the one who will fake

Her own confidence. She is the mess
And chaos. She is also the calm
And will never be the one to confess

Her sins to the greedy. Her palm
Faces up not to surrender, but to
Help those who need it. She is a bomb

In the making, never taking shit from you
Because she is built from the ground
Up. Do not run to her when you screw

And mess it all up because she is bound
To not care about your pathetic excuses.
She is death, quiet without making a sound.

She never apologizes for her bruises
Or ugly scars. You should be the one who
Is running scared. She chooses

To see her life from the top window and view
Without being selfish. She works hard for
The money. She sees past everything that blew

Up. She has made the choice to restore
Her own happiness, trust and faith.
I caution you to think extremely hard before

She comes to destroy you like a wraith.
She does not float in the light like a halo,
But she also refuses to forever bathe

In the darkness like a lost child with yellow
Hair like the sunlight. Watch out for the
Lava that is coming out of her like a volcano.

Having a Kind Heart/Showing Kindness

I get it, we all have days where ugliness/meanness rears its head and sometimes we are just mean to other people. I think in today’s world there a far fewer days where we are kind towards each other. Ellen DeGeneres always says (at the end of her show) to be kind to one another. Why do we have to be kind towards one another? Honestly, a lot of the time it is easier to be kind to another. In fact, it should be one of the simplest things in this big world. Think about it…What feels and looks better, being kind towards someone else or saying something unkind. Besides, it does not feel good and takes up a lot of negative energy. Yeah, I know that some people do not deserve kindness, (in fact there could be a lot of people out there in the world like that) but they might just be having a terrible day or need someone to say something nice or for someone to smile at them.

Whenever we have our bad days sometimes we take it out on other people and I know that is not right, but sometimes that is the only way we know how to deal/cope with it. Try doing or saying at least one kind/nice thing day each day. I know it may seem challenging/daunting, but at least give it a try. I challenge each and every one of my readers plus everybody else out there to be much nicer. We all deserve kindness, regardless if we think we deserve it or not.

If you are naturally a kind person, do not let anybody else take that away from you. I naturally smile (it is a habit, maybe because I do it a lot, sometimes that helps me cope with something terrible) and people always wonder why I do. I do not know, but I should not let that be taken away from me. I always try to be nice to other people (partially because my parents raised me that way), but because it is who I am. Kindness goes hand in hand with being compassionate. It seems like such a strong word and it is. This world needs way more compassion too. So I encourage everybody to show compassion and kindness. We all need more of it.

I will finish this post by including a quote right here (there is also a poem to follow this quote) all about compassion and why we need it. There are so many good quotes about this topic, but this is by far one of the best ones I have found. This quote is said by L.R. Knost. He says the following “It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.” We have to show kindness, not only for ourselves but for every kid because we need to be really good role models. And like I have said before, here is my poem about showing some kindness.

Show Kindness

This big world is far too cruel for

Mean words and unkind actions. Keep

Your heart open to kindness before

 

You become too hard. Let is all seep

Into your bones to smile and laugh

When we all have bad days. A deep

 

Connection is craved. Avoid the half

Truths and pretend smiles. Be real.

Be honest. Keep a faded old photograph

 

In your pocket. Never let anyone steal

Your happiness and faith. Do not let

The rest of the world tell you what to feel.

 

Even the small things you worry and fret

About are out of your control. Never wait

For things, both big and small that have

 

Yet to happen. Never let fear, obstacles or hate

Get in your way. You are meant to be wild,

Silly, crazy, goofy and without the weight

 

On your shoulders. Never be tame or mild.

Be reckless, be bold and be brave. Keep

Them wondering why you always smiled.

Hard Times and Struggling

There are many moments (in our life) where we struggle and have difficult times. Some last a short while, but others last a whole lot longer. I found this amazing quote that I believe sums it all up. “Embrace the struggle and let it make you stronger. It won’t last forever” (said by Tony Gaskins). In other words, do not let your struggles or hard times keep you from breaking down and being weak. Every struggle and hardship is supposed to make you stronger/unbreakable. There is this saying that says that you have to go through the bad times before you can get to the good times. That is just how life works. You may try to blame other people or things that just go wrong, but you have to remember that you are the one who are going through these hard times and nobody else.

I get that life is not always fair, but that is just how life goes. We all have our ups and downs (sometimes a lot more downs), but we cannot allow them to dictate our life. I am in my 20s and still struggling, but at least I am trying to rebuild my life. In fact, I have been trying to rebuild my life since I finished college a few years ago. The good thing about rebuilding your life is that you get to decide who you want to be and what you want to do with your life. I was explaining this to a friend of mine (about rebuilding my life) and she put it in a great way (that I have never really though about before). She said “Everybody goes through those phoenix stages, burning up and starting over again.” I feel like that is a great metaphor, not only for my life, but for those around me because we all go through those stages in life. To quote the ever wonder Maya (again) from one her most famous pieces “Still I Rise,” she says “But still, like dust, I’ll rise.”

Regardless whatever hardship or obstacle or whatever storm comes your way, I promise you that you will eventually get through it. So this piece goes to all my readers who are having hard times and who are struggling (in whatever capacity). May you as Maya and I say…”Still I Rise.” May we all be phoenixes and continue to get through our hardships and times of struggle by rebuilding our lives (sometimes from the ground up). We will eventually find ourselves.

Like a Phoenix

Always keep walking on with your head

Held high up like a queen on her mission.

Even if you are going through bad times

 

Remember that life is like an audition.

It is all trial and error in life. Although

You want to mope, show your ambition

 

And do not let anyone dull your glow.

We are all phoenixes rising up from

The ashes. We all continue and plough

 

On through uncertainty. Stand firm

Through all the fire, rain and every storm.

I know you are stronger than every crumb

 

And rock below your feet. You will transform

Into something magnificent and wonderful, my

Dear. I can promise you that. Do not be lukewarm.

 

When the dusty ashes will be settled and be dry,

Then you will be beginning to rebuild your life

From the ground up. You are meant to soar and fly.

Being Thankful and Grateful

It is hard to believe that November is coming to an end (pretty soon I might add) and it is that time of year when we start to think about all the things we are grateful/thankful for (mostly because of Thanksgiving). Thanksgiving dates back a long time ago in our history when the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower, but I do not know the exact history. When I look up the definition of Thanksgiving in the dictionary, it defines Thanksgiving as “the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favors, especially to God” (dictionary.com). I personally do not think of Thanksgiving as a religious holiday (as someone who comes from a non-practicing and non-religious family although I am Catholic/Jewish). I just think of it as another holiday to celebrate with loved ones with lots of food and laughter.

Being thankful and grateful should never have to be religious (and it should not be forced upon anybody as such).  Even though I think about all the things I am thankful for (and trust me, I have a lot of things I should be thankful/grateful for), I also think about those who may not be as lucky (like those who are living on the streets or those who are alone without family and friends). The other part of Thanksgiving is the giving part. You can never do wrong by giving (and I know that is something I can work on it). As much as we want to complain/argue about the things we do not have, we should not have to focus on those things. It is all a part of being thankful/grateful for the things we already have. There is this quote I found (in the spirit of Thanksgiving that is coming up this week). “Give thanks with a grateful heart” (Thessalonians 5:6).

So I hope that all my readers have a wonderful Thanksgiving (no matter where you are or who you celebrate it with). I just want to take this moment to thank all of the people who have continuously supported me and for all the things I am lucky to have (like endless love from my family and friends), a roof over my head, laugher, clothing, and food to eat. I hope that everybody realizes that there is always something (no matter how big or small it might be) to be thankful/grateful for. Demi is the one who says that (although the quote is really said by Oprah Winfrey) “Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” And in this poem I echo a key part from Maya Angelou’s “Phenomenal Woman.” P.S. I just want to give a special shout out to K (wherever this person is) because although we have had our ups and downs I am still truly grateful/thankful for having you in my life.  

A Taste of Freedom and Thankfulness

A phenomenal woman, words
Echoed by my hero, Maya Angelou.
Fly home free like the birds.

You are every color, shade and hue
Of the rainbow. Never let the rest
Of the world keep you sad and blue.

Be continuously thankful and blessed
For everything you could ever possess.
Love, family and friends. Drive out west

Where you can taste freedom and say yes.
See every sunset and count all of the stars.
Remember every soft touch and caress.

Live life and sit on the handlebars
Instead of sitting in the passenger seat.
Nobody would be pointing at your scars

From every scrape and bruise. Defeat
All the haters and all of the doubt.
Never let anybody or anything mistreat

You or your trust. You should shout
It out from the rooftops because that is
Who you are and what you are all about.