Tag: messy ties

Cutting Ties

One of the most difficult things to do in this world is to cut ties with other people. It is difficult, but for the most part it is necessary (especially to cutting those ties with negative/toxic people). You do not want them to poison your spirits and to make things worse than what they already are. If you cannot cut ties with those people then your mind is telling you something. You have to dig deep and really think if you still want those people to be a part of your life. If the answer is no, you have to cut ties and show them the exit door. If the answer is yes, then they are good people. If the answer is I do not know (or I am unsure) then you really have to go with your gut (to figure it out). If you really have to think about it then that is telling you something.

It does not matter if you have been friends or in a relationship or are just acquaintances.  You should never let any of that cloud your judgment or the decisions you make. It should be clear that the people you are cutting ties with are not good for you at all. They will do anything to weigh you down, bring drama, and keep you back from finding someone or something better. It is just the way it goes. As Steve Maraboli puts it “The path to freedom is illuminated by the bridges you have burned, adorned by the ties you have cut, and cleared by the drama you have left behind. Let go. Be free.” In other words, cutting ties should feel freeing and rewarding. On the other hand, sometimes other people cut ties with you and sometimes they just up and leave you behind. In terms of that situation, it is oh well. You just have to think that they did not deserve you anyways.

To all my readers, I hope that you have the strength and courage to cut ties because as painful as it is, it is also a good thing to do. It is cleansing and in a sense it is like a detox (to the system). What is at stake is yourself (mind and body) and your health. It is all about what you deserve because as I said before you (and everybody else) deserves happiness. So hang in there. Remember that sometimes the people who you cut ties with deserve to be cut because they did something bad to you and the chances are that they are the ones who handed you the scissors to begin with. I hope these poems bring you peace and more understanding. Happy reading!!

Cutting Ties

Sometimes, cutting ties is the

Best thing to do. It’s better to

Move on rather dwelling

On sometimes that hurt you

Or that make you doubt

Everything that you thought

Existed. Holding onto

Something for that long can

Make you miss out on

Something good and

Miss out on something

That can change your life.

So do whatever it takes

To move on – deleting

Their number, deleting their

Facebook. You don’t need a

Constant reminder of what

Went wrong. It’s not your

Fault. People, they change.

They want and need

Different things they did

Before. They do nothing

But hurt other people. It

Doesn’t matter if you

Forgive them or not.

You’ve got to move

Forward. With life.

With love. With living

And breathing.

 

Detox

I have this irrational fear

Of running into you and

Not knowing what to do

Or what to say.

What if I freak out?

What if I run the other way?

Do you know how I feel?

It made me feel more alone

When you just up and left

With no reason to come back.

Do you know how much I hate you for that?

I am trying to get it all, including you,

Out of my system. It is all a detox of

The sad and bad things. It is like clearing

My system of all the hurt and toxins.

I am trying to let the anger dissolve

And slowly fade away. I am trying

To forgive you like I have

Done in the past. Forgive me while

I am trying to let go the

Disappointment and frustration.

Do not be mad when I am trying

To move on and completely forget

About you. It feels like by the time

You are willing and ready, I will

Be already done with you.

I will not let you become

My crutch and drug anymore.

I will not cave and give in to you.

I will not relapse and overdose.

You were my antidote. Now I am

The antidote for myself.

I am my own detox. I am my own.

Lightness Versus Darkness

I do not know why, but I have almost always been interested in lightness versus darkness. It is a topic that always seem to make an appearance in my work. Maybe it fascinates me or is just something that always comes up. I almost always find ways to compare and contract them because they are so similar yet different at the same time (if that makes sense). People who know me so well know that I have nothing but light within me (hence why I smile a lot), but I (just like almost everybody else) have a dark side and have bad days. Some people come in versions of light and dark (like certain people represent darkness and others represent lightness). On the other hand, there are people who represent both.

I just wish that more people would realize there is a mix of both lightness and darkness in this world (and it always is not a bad thing). There is this quote by Madeleine L’Engle (who wrote “A Wrinkle In Time) that I absolutely love. She says that “Maybe have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light” and that is so absolutely true. You have to take whatever comes with the darkness and whatever comes with the lightness as well. You cannot always have one without the other. In those times of darkness do not be afraid to ask for help for you to pull yourself up. I also wish that people will show me the darkest parts of themselves because I am not always afraid of those parts of them (I am not that kind of person). I think it is raw and imperfect (to me that is perfectly okay).

So to my readers… I promise you that you are not the only one who deals with darkness because I know I have and other people have done the same as well. Do not be afraid to have a dark side (just as long as you know that you do not have to be there forever). Hang in there… We have all been there and there are certainly better days (hopefully filled with light and better things ahead). Fair warning, these poems are in terms of people and sometimes they come in forms of symbols. Enjoy!!!!!

The Lightness Vs. The Darkness

This guy right in front of me,

He just might be my future.

He’s the one that I’m supposed

To love, to marry, to have kids

With, and to grow old with.

We’re supposed to be happy.

To raise our kids, see them

Grow up and be grandparents

Together. We’re supposed to

Do all of those things together.

But what if everything changes?

How am I going to reassure

This perfect guy and myself that

Everything is going to be okay?

When I know that everything

That we planned might fall

Apart and slip right from our

Grasp. What if it’s him that

I fall in love with? What if

I’m lured away by that guy

In the corner. The guy

I would normally ignore

Because he’s too dark and

Unknown. He’s different than

My future because while my

Future pulls me into the light,

The other drags me away into

The darkness where there is

No light, not even a peak of

Sunlight. Maybe that’s where

I belong. Wherever he goes,

I follow and go along with him

Because even though he may

Not belong in my future, he’s

Still there, waiting for me.

 

Light and Dark

I can see the light behind your

Eyes and I can see the complete darkness

There too. I don’t want to you endure

Any pain. You should also feel the lightness.

It can either put you on your knees with

A prayer on your lips or leave you

Celebrating with the angels. You may wish

And hope that things don’t fall through,

But you may never know that the plans

Are. Sometimes there’s a beacon

Of hope. There might be hands

To give us help. Don’t let the demons

Frighten you. They have no hope.

They only want you to fall and feel heavy.

So while we’re given ways to cope

And deal with all, don’t let the hefty

Weights bring you down. The light

Is there to get you to a positive place.

You are strong enough to fight.

You know you can reach home base.

The cheers and good thoughts should

Propel you forward and lift you up.

There you should see the good.

Don’t let it all buildup.

You have a good heart

And you are kind. Don’t let the

World take it all apart.

You don’t deserve that. Never bet

Against the bad. You should be setting

And smashing your goals. There’s no logic

To being in a life stressing

Mess. There’s no need to suffer a psychotic

Breakdown. There’s no need to suffer

And pay for the dark night.

Be like the summer,

Bright and put on the light.

That smile should glow

And remind you of being positive.

This is your show.

Don’t dwell on the negative.

Having High Standards

I want to talk about a topic that is very important and that is having high standards. High standards… Whether we want to admit it or not we all have high standards when it comes to relationships (I am talking about dating/love types of relationships, but any other kinds of relationship will do). I know that there are many people who we cross paths with. We have to determine whether those people are important enough to stay and be a part of those lives. We can call them boundaries or standards or whatever else we want to call them. Nevertheless, they are almost the same exact things. They are a set guideline that we establish in order to live a healthy and happy life. We set those standards not for other people, but for ourselves.

There is this quote that I came across that I totally agree with. “Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.” What that quote is saying is that you should never be sorry for having high standards because they are there for a reason and they will never be too high for those who want to be a part of your life. The other people who do not want to rise up to meet them are not important and they really should not matter to you at all. I do not want to be rude or blunt, but you should really kick those people to the curb because in the end those people are not worth it. I have to admit that even I have high standards. That does not make me or anybody else a prude and does not make us feel uncertain. More than anything else, it shows that we know exactly what we want because we observe and pay enough attention to what goes around us.

These high standards are not just for our personal lives (dating), but they are also applied to every other aspect of our lives. In the end what I am saying is that having high standards are important because you cannot just let anybody walk all over you. I have gotten my high standards from my parents (especially my dad because he treats my mom so well) and from other people. As I have said before, I am one of those people who likes observing and for the most part, I know what I want, hence my high standards. I want to conclude this post with one of my favorite quotes by Steve Maraboli. “Just because she has high standards doesn’t mean she’s high maintenance. Don’t confuse the two.” So listen up ladies and gentlemen… Treat us with respect, dignity, etc. and you will be perfectly okay. That is all we are asking for and may we all find someone (or more than one person) who will meet our high standards face on. In fact, find those people who go way above and beyond those standards. Those are the type of people you want to keep around for the long haul. Thanks for tuning in.

High Standards

Every kiss on my hand and

On other parts of my body

Give me chills. Every time

You hold my hand and

Hold me it gives me

Reassurance that you

Want me as much as

I want you. You are

Showing and telling me

That you care. When you

Brought me flowers

You are being thoughtful.

When you are meeting

My family you are

Being brave. When you

Bring my mom flowers

And my dad wine you are

Being considerate.

When you are helping me

With my jacket and

Opening my door you are

Being a gentleman.

I have high standards

And you are rising up

To meet them. You are

Going above and beyond

My expectations.

Just when you are not

Looking it comes to you.

Different Perspective and Point of View

I know that I have talked about things from a woman’s point of view (because I am a woman), but I want to talk about something a little different here. Firstly, I wanted to share this quote by Oprah Winfrey (I found this quote in Demi’s book in her entry on July 13th). “So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.” I know that we have all fallen down and I know that I am included in that as well. What we have to do is to either see things from the ground up when we fall or to pick ourselves up. I know that we are more than capable of picking ourselves up, but I know that it be sometimes hard to do so. Sometimes it is harder to see things from the ground up.

One thing I have learned (especially writing this blog and my poetry) is to see things from a different perspective. I know I see things from being a white, single female, but maybe it is time to see things from a guy’s point of view or an older or a younger person’s point of view (and I have written from all of those points of view or at least I have tried to). There is nothing wrong with the women in this world, but I just feel like men get ignored and dissed (not always on purpose by the way). I thought it would be interesting to write things from a guy’s point of view because sometimes their point of view can be way different or they may not be so different after all. They may or may not want the same things as us. Point of views can be unusual and unique in a way.

So I want my readers to think about things from a different perspective because you never know what the other person might be thinking or feeling. What I am saying to be open and willing to interpretation. There is a book I read when I was in middle school, “To Kill a Mockingbird,” written by Harper Lee and there is this quote in there that we can all relate to (said by Scout’s dad, Atticus Finch). What he says is “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” If you have not read this book, I would highly recommend it. In the end, I hope that you all enjoy these poems written from a different point of view and to never judge someone because you may not really know them (ties hand in hand with my post about no judgements). There is so much we can learn from other people. Happy reading!! P.S. I thought I would showcase at least two different points of view.

Staying Away

It hurts to see that she still chooses

Me every time, no matter if I try to

Steer her in another direction

Towards someone who is more

Stable and can provide for her

More than I can. Someone who

Cannot hurt her like I can.

Someone who is more deserving

Of her than I am. She does not seem

To care or even notice any of it.

She is so stubborn. Does she

Not realize that I already have a

Reputation? I am already a

Heartbreaker. I am too bad for her

Maybe even too bad for someone

Who is too good like her. She is

Determined to save and change

Me for the better. I do not need any

Of that. What I want is for her

To steer clear away from me.

But she cannot stay away from me.

She is drawn to me like a magnet.

I know how fragile girls like her

Can be. They say that they are

Strong and that they can

Handle anything when I know that

They can break just like that

Into thousands of tiny pieces.

That is easier to deal with.

It is less complicated

And is not so messy. I do not want

Her to see just how messed

Up that I am. I do not want her

To realize how much time I am

A waste for her to deal with.

She could be out, having fun

For once yet she wants to

Draw out all of my pent up emotions

That I try to hide from her. It does not

Work. She can see right through

The façade, the tough exterior

To see the torment and anger

That I have. I want to deal with it

Without her around. I do not want

Her to try to make it all better.

She does not deserve someone

So broken, so damaged like me.

That is why I try to push her away.

All of that closeness is too

Much to deal with.

 

Burnt to the Ground

My eyes flash in terror

To only think that my home,

My town, so beloved and

So sacred. Growing up

And staying with my friends

As kids normally do. Only to

Get destroyed and burnt

Down. I only wish that I

Could call out to my momma,

My everything since poppa

Left us. I want her to take me

Up in her arms, to tell me how

To get rid of the monsters.

If only she, my savior of

Another could protect me now,

To tell me more of her stories

That help me sleep at night.

More of those monsters

Are coming, killing every

Last one of us, not caring

That we were children.

They come, running towards

Me. Their guns and other

Weapons, reflecting in the

Flames, already threatening

To burn down my home, my

Sense of protection. As they

Closer, they remind me of the

Monsters that used to scare me.

My heart starts to beat faster.

My legs want to move as far

Away as I can. But suddenly,

I hear the words of my momma

Telling me to not be afraid.

It’s time to stop fighting and to

Just let go. That’s what I did.

I let go because I know

Anywhere else would be better

Than this place. Better than

Going on living with pain,

With suffering, knowing that

I lost everything. I know that

I will be reunited with

My momma and the rest of

Those who died, watching

Those who survived, knowing

That those horrid people

Killing and taking away

Innocent lives will never be

Able to live a peaceful life.

They will forever be haunted

By the ghosts of the children,

Of the men and women who

Didn’t deserve to die.

Another P.S. In case if my readers cannot figure it out, the first poem (“Staying Away”) is from a guy’s point of view and the second one (“Burnt to the Ground”) was inspired when I went to a small town in France (it’s mostly ruins now) where a lot of kids were killed. Unfortunately many kids died in what is called the “Oradour-sur-Glane massacre” (I believe that’s the one I am talking about).  That is from the point of view of one of the kids (imaginary in my head) who died in that massacre.

Death

I know that this is never a pleasant subject to talk about, but I want to talk about death in this post, especially with all the deaths happening around the world (and especially in the United States). RIP to those who died in these terrorist attacks, the people who died in Orlando, other incidents happening around the world, and people getting killed by cops. Death is extremely hard to talk about because to a lot of people it gets personal and causes a lot of grief. I have not personally experienced  a lot of deaths. There was a family friend that passed away and my grandpa died back when I was a lot younger (my grandparents on my dad’s died before I was born). I would not know what to do if my grandma (on my mom’s side) passed away because she means the world to me and we are extremely close.

What is that one thing that comes with death, besides grief? That would be pain and a lot of the time, sadness. No matter how hard death is, we sometimes have to focus on the positive side as well, even if we have to squint. It is a celebration of that person’s life and all that they have done. We all have our role models who have passed away (mine include Maya Angelou, Robin Williams, Prince, David Bowie, Alan Rickman, etc.) For other people it may vary. So if anybody has ever known someone (plural too), I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart. I want to include a quote right here.  “We talk about them, because we’re proud. We talk about them because they deserve to be remembered. We talk about them, because even though they are not physically with us, they are never far from our mind. We talk about them, because they are a part of us, a part that we could never ignore or disown. We talk about them, because we love them still and always will. Forever. Nothing will change that.” Scribbles & Crumbs

Death can be as literal or as symbolic or as imaginative as we want it to be. Although we know people who have died, we can also apply that to thing(s) that are not people like relationships. While we mourn for people who have died, we have also mourned for a relationship that has died or faded away. In both cases we are saying goodbye. I think that it is especially important to come together and stand together.

There is a little inspiration behind this poem. Like everybody else I listen to music and one song that I came across is Sam Smith’s “Lay Me Down.” For people who do not know this song, it goes something like this:

Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you
And make sure you’re alright
I’ll take care of you
I don’t want to be here if I can’t be with you tonight

I love Sam Smith plus his lyrics because they personal and moving. This poem I wrote is in mourning of a guy (who I figuratively lost and is still hypothetical), but can be applied to any person or thing that has died (especially to those people killed by cops). May you all rest in peace! And on a somber note, happy reading to everybody and just know that you are never truly alone. There will be a day where we are reunited once again in a world, hopefully filled with better things that what life has to offer now. Whatever happens, I will be right there beside you. There will be a day where we will get past these deaths (maybe not today, but some other day). Lots of love!! P.S. Just a little side note here that this post is dedicated to the victims in Orlando, Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, Dallas cops, and to countless amounts of other victims. May you all rest in peace.

Reunited Once Again

Lay me down next to him

So he does not feel so alone

In this world that has let

Him down. I want to crawl

Into this cocoon with him

So that he knows that I am

Right there with him. He may

Be as dead and cold as his

Tombstone, but nothing

Including the rain could ever

Disturb the peace. Although

He is lifeless and still, he will

Be alive in my mind where

We are dancing. We are

Laughing and smiling

Although he is no longer

Walking this earth. I am

Missing the twinkle in his

Eyes and the swagger in

The way he moves. I just

Know that we will meet again

And be back to how we used

To be. Now I have to imagine

This life without you in it.

I wished that I would be able

To tell him “I love you”

For the last time, but

He already knew that.

There will always be a

Missing piece in my heart

That he took with him

When he left. He knows that

I will never forget him just

Like I know that he will

Never forget me.

Is this why this is all so painful?

Does moving on truly hurt?

Yes, it does hurt, but I have

To move on. I have to do this

For the both of us. We will

See each other again

In another lifetime

Full with happiness, rainbows,

And other good things.

Safe Haven

I was just thinking about the places we all go to when we need a breather or a break from the rest of this world and I am wanting to call this place our “safe haven” (some other people may call it a sanctuary). For me, my safe haven is my writing of poetry because that is where there is no judgement and I can be myself there. Furthermore, I personally think that I have more than one safe haven including acting, etc. For other people it might be reading a book (I like doing that too) or doing yoga or something that is relaxing and safe. There is craziness in this world (and sometimes there is lots of it) so we need to find a place where we are completely safe and sane. When you look it up in the dictionary, it is almost exactly that (slightly different definition, but not by that much).

In some cases a safe haven could be a person. You feel completely at home with that person and they make you feel safe no matter what. More importantly it is a place where your heart is completely safe in the hands of another person (or activity/hobby). There is a wond I found for it (a new word I discoverd) called “querencia (n) [which is] a place from which one’s strength is drawn, where one feels most at home. The place where you are your most authentic self.” So in this world filled with craziness like wars, battles, deaths, and darkness, I hope that each one of us find our save haven because we so desperately need one (or two or three or many more than just one). I am going to leave everybody with a quote I found. I am not a huge religious person, but I found comfort in this quote by Joseph B. Wirthlin in his work titled “Safe Harbor.” I hope that people come to understand and interpret this quote (just like my following poem) in any way that they like. It coincidently coincides with one of my previous posts about storms. “Be assured that there is a safe harbor. You can find peace amidst the storms that threaten you.” I hope that you enjoy that quote and the following poem. Happy reading!!

Safe Haven

Give me a place to hide

When I do not feel like

Facing the world.

Life is tough, but it

Does not always have

To be that way.

Give me a place for

Kind and silent words.

Give me a place where

My heart and mind

Are safe. Give me a place

To protect myself from

Sadness and heartbreak.

Give me a place to hide

All the bad things

And all of my demons.

This is my safe haven.

This is my

Restorative justice.

This is a place of

No judgment.

This is my peace

And quiet.

This is my safe haven.

True Colors

Everybody knows that song by Cyndi Lauper “True Colors.” If you do not what I am talking about, the chorus goes something like this:

“And I’ll see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that’s why  love you

So don’t be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful

Like a rainbow…”

Of course seeing someone’s true colors is not always that bright and peachy. We wish it would happen that way, but the truth is that it does not. I have to admit that I learned it the hard way. Sometimes you have to be careful when someone shows you more than two versions of themselves. There is usually one version of themselves when they are out in public in front of others and then the other version of themselves is when they are in a private place or with loved ones they trust. Then there are some people (a rare coincidence I believe) who are always the same. Some people have a need to hide behind masks, but that is for another time.

One of the worst parts is when you get to know someone and you think you know their true colors, when the truth is that you do not. That is one of the worst feelings in the world and trust me, I know that all too well. There is this quote by Maya Angelou (one of my favorite people who sadly passed away at least a few years ago) and she says “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” I love that quote and I have kept it close to my heart after one of my aunts told me this quote (I did not know that it was Maya at the time). I want people (who are reading this) to keep that quote in mind because there will be a time where you come across a person like that. I know it is hard, but you have to believe them the first time because you may try to deny it all you want, but that is who they are. People have to be careful because there could be that one person who they love and admire so much, but it may be a different story when you get to know them in a more private setting. All of a sudden, they are a completely different person and they are not always who they are cracked up to be.

I hope my readers keep this in mind as sometimes word travels around and you have to think about who to trust. The people around town? Yourself? Or the person you thought you knew? I hope that everybody chooses wisely and keep believing in whoever you trust the most. I know that I have said before that everybody has imperfections, but sometimes you cannot get past them. So this goes out to my readers, whoever you are. I that you all find someone who is not afraid to share their true colors with you and I hope that you are able to do the same with them (as long as it is safe and healthy). The person (or in this case I think it might be plural) who I wrote this about is a combination of different perspectives and situations. It was not ideal, but I have learned a lot from the experience with them. Learn to trust (always) and happy reading!! P.S. Since we are on the theme of true colors, I will add another poem in the mix as well.

No Hero

It was a hard pill to swallow

Because the truth hurts and

All I wanted to do was follow

 

In your footsteps. The sand

Was sinking me down

Until I could no longer stand.

 

I felt like I was going to drown,

But there was nothing I could do

To stop the whispers in this town.

 

Everybody was speculating and you

Were living up to the hype.

I was starting to feel like the new

 

Girl around these parts. I had to wipe

Away my tears before you saw

Me as weak. I was not your type

 

Of girl. I used to be in awe

Of you until I saw all of the ugliness.

You were no shiny medal. The flaw

 

In the both of us was heartless.

And the darkness of the situation

Was twirling off its axis.

 

Nothing was turning out to be certain

Like I thought it was going

To be. Nobody clearly won

 

This battle. It does have a lot of sting

Because you meant so much to me,

But we were both down to our last swing.

 

I could no longer let you see

Things from my perspective because

Everything had to stop and cease.

 

I paid no attention as each person’s jaws

Dropped to the floor because I never

Cared enough for their claws

 

To sink into us and pin me as the enabler.

Their golden and bad boy could

Never disappoint them. Your honor

 

Was never real. How I wish you would

Show the world who you really

Are and how the bad outshines the good.

 

People always viewed you as godly

And perfect. While I am just

An ordinary girl and I was barely

 

Hanging on as I was. I wanted to trust

You enough so you would never break

Me into pieces, but I was turning into dust.

 

Your True Colors

My feelings were hidden from view.

I never wanted to hide what

I was feeling away from you.

 

Deep down in my gut

And intuition was the truth

That everything was going to cut

 

Me deep. It did nothing to soothe

My irrational fears of you leaving.

It turned out that I saw your true

 

Being and colors shining

On through. I prayed for some

Miracle. I thought it would bring

 

You and I back in rhythm like a drum.

We got out of sync and you were no

Longer a part of this dance. I feel numb.

 

You and I were supposed to go slow,

But I got ahead of myself and wanted

Too much. You gave me this glow,

 

But it has all dimmed. The wall

That I built is going back up.

I am left wandering

 

This world while I suffered the blowup.

You did not have to suffer as much as I did.

You just went on like this was no breakup.

 

You went off the map and grid.

You vanished and disappeared altogether.

We could do nothing to stop this skid.

Storms and Imperfections

Ever since I was a little girl, I have never been a huge fan of storms, especially thunder and lightning storms because they have always scared me. I still remember my parents would tell me how far away the thunder and lightning is by making us count. If it was further away, the higher I would be able to count. I still do not always like storms (especially if I am right in the midst of one), but I have come to tolerate them slightly more these days. Why am I talking about storms? And I know tons of people who like (as well as love) storms. What is there to not like about storms?

I will tell you why. Storms, in a sense, are like a symbol for life. No storm is perfect and beautiful, right? Sure, the end results are gorgeous and stunning, but during the storm it may not always look that way. Rain, snow, thunder, lightning, and whatever else you consider to be as a part of the storm do not look the prettiest. Sometimes people like standing in the rain, getting wet and I get that (I really do), but there is something amazing about when we can see the rain (and other parts of the storm from afar). I do not know about other people, but sometimes when a storm comes (literally or hypothetically), all I want to do is cuddle up with a good book or TV and let it pass. Sometimes it gets me into a bad mood and sometimes it gets me into a reflective mood. I guess that it all just depends on the storm because it could vary and sometimes drastically.

So I am going back to storms and what they represent. Storms in addition to representing life, also represent imperfections and flaws. There is this quote that I think sums this all up perfectly (no pun intended). “I’m beautifully broken, perfectly imperfect, beautiful in my flaws. All together, I am a beautiful disaster.” I have always wanted to figure out who wrote this quote because it has seriously become one of my favorite quotes. This is totally coincidental, but in Demi’s book (in her June 28th entry) she says that “If you don’t love yourself for your flaws and imperfections, you can’t expect anyone else to either.” And I think that ties in perfectly with this theme of flaws and imperfections.

All in all, this has come to be a slightly longer post than what I originally intended, but I think this is an important discussion to have. Storms are amazing things because they teach us so much and mostly they teach us about ourselves. There is a little backstory to this poem that I am sharing in this post, but I will not get too much into detail about it because I want people to enjoy the poem. Just a side note that the title of the poem changed from “Beautiful Disaster” to “Against The Storm.” My hope is that people get this poem from a symbolic point of view. So, this goes out to all of my readers as a reminder that nothing is perfect and it is okay to go through life with constant storms. We all have flaws and imperfections and you know what? That is just fine and we are better that way. So happy reading!! P.S. Just a note that I decided to add another poem (it is an older one I wrote a while back ago) because I wanted to show two different moods. One is a bit a calmer and the other is a bit on the chaotic angry side.

Against The Storm

Darling, you are like a beautiful disaster.

You go on full speed ahead like a tornado.

You are not like the decay

 

That rots away. You have this glow

To you that never truly goes away.

I wish you would know

 

Your true potential. You have a magical sway

That has everybody under a trance.

You make us all want to stay.

 

You and I are in this endless dance

When neither one of us is willing to cave in.

I am willing to give this a chance

 

Only if you are ready for this dark ink

To settle in. It is starting to become permanent.

You are suddenly becoming too hard to ignore.

 

Baby, you could never become nonexistent.

I will remember you for a long time, even

After you blow on through. This is no stunt

 

To keep you around. Chasing and making me run

After you is useless. I know that you will

Not be coming back and then the sun

 

Will be gone. I could never get my full fill

Of you even if I tried. I am drawn to you.

Even when you will spill

 

Over I will try to catch you. I cannot undo

This hold you have over me. That I cannot

Change, but I do have the power to spew

 

The truth because it is all I got

When it comes down to us. You want to be free.

I know that you are afraid of this tangled knot

 

That has become apart of you and me.

You never wanted to stay long or linger.

You always wanted to flee

 

And run away. I do not know what is to come after

You, but I do not want to figure that out yet.

I am not done exploring you and finding the answer.

 

One thing I know is that I am never going to bet

Against you and the storm ever again.

I know there some reason why you and I met.

 

Nothing is ever a perfect score or a ten.

Nothing is ever set in stone with a pen.

 

Like a Storm

You are going to wish you had

A warning or at least a map

Because I am unpredictable.

I could come in and turn

Everything upside down.

I could just blow right on

Thorough this town.

I am danger without the warning.

I am the storm with

The wind howling

And everybody running

For cover. I am the chaos during

The storm. I am the reason why

You want to change states

And change names so I do not

Find you. You cannot escape me.

You will not escape from me.

I got the fire burning behind my

Eyes. The storm is coming.

The hurricane is coming right

Through my finger tips.

I cannot be tamed. I cannot be

Wished away. I will keep on

Coming back to you, wherever

You are. I am going to keep

You running and hiding.

You are going to constantly

Be looking over your shoulder.

You will not know where I might

End up going. You always said

I was a beautiful mess.

Someone who leaves your

Head spinning and leaves

You a little loopy. Someone who

Keeps you on the edge.

Now I am the ugly type of mess.

I am leaving a trail behind

So you know who I am.

I am leaving my mark on

You and everything that

You love. I am a storm

That everybody hears and

Knows about. You will never

Know what hit you. You will not

Recover before I hit you again.

I am a storm just

Waiting to happen.

Leaving an Impact On This World

Hey there. One of the things I have been thinking about these days is what happens when we depart and leave this world (I am talking about when we die)? What type of impact would we have? And what legacy would we leave behind? I want to bring in a quote here by one of my heroes (for people who watch or know about baseball, you will definitely know who this guy is), Mr. Jackie Robinson. He says “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” I am going to backtrack here for a moment and explain who Jackie Robinson is (for people who do not know who this guy is). Robinson was the first person of color who came to Major League Baseball (MLB) and broke the color barrier by coming to the Los Angeles Dodgers. Obviously, he had a huge impact, not only on baseball, but across the world as well.

That got me thinking about the impact I would have (and how I so much want to leave something behind so people would remember me). I am not trying to be selfish here, but I want people to remember me and I want to do something to also make the world a slightly better place. I think that is what we all need to do. We are living on this Earth, so we all need to do something, not only to take care of Earth as a planet, but to take care of at least some of the people as well (it makes me think of this nature writing class I took when I was an undergraduate).

I want to apply this to relationships we have with other people. I sometimes struggle with leaving an impact (especially a positive one) on people. Through this poem I reflect through relationships I have had (with friends and dating relationships as well). In this poem, I am specifically talking about it through this guy I was seeing and how I wish I could be more of that type of girl that he will never truly forget, no matter what he does. I want him to be thinking about me, even when I am no longer there. I have been on the receiving end of this where I could never truly forget him, but I am flipping the script in this poem. My goal in life is to make this world a better place and to make other people feel things (maybe things they have never felt before).

I found a quote to sum it all up. “Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.” It all goes hand in hand with my post about having this “inner fire.” So I strongly encourage my readers to do exactly that (even if you are not one of those types of people listed). I hope that this poem gives you all the encouragement and hope that you would need to do so much. We need everybody to contribute because it is all about the younger (as well as the older) generation. Enjoy this poem and post!! P.S. Just a fair warning that this following poem is a bit on the longer side.

Gone Girl

Keep her close to your heart
Because that is where she belongs.
You gave her a kick start
To living again. She is like that song
You will never truly forget.
There will be other girls trying to
Take her place, but you will regret
Leaving her behind. You will turn blue
Because she is not there to be
Your oxygen in order to breathe.
She just wants you to see
Your mistakes and you will seethe
Around in anger. You had that
One girl through everything
And then you squashed her flat.
She gave you that something
She had not given to anybody else.
You will miss everything about her.
Most of all, you will miss that easy ebb
You had together. Everything will blur
And begin to fade away from memory.
Although she is gone forever,
She leaves you on unstable and shaky
Ground. Everything tastes bitter
In your mouth. Only then will
You want her back to make everything whole
Again, but she has already had her fill
Of you. Her broken down soul
No longer belongs to you. You can try
To forget and move on with other girls
After her, but she will always fly
Back into your heart. They will not be pearls
Or diamonds like she was. You can never
Truly forget someone as magical
As she was. She will put you on a bender
That will make everything spiral
Out of control for you. She has put
You under her spell that still lingers behind.
She keeps you balancing on one foot
As you are kept in a bind
With her that she is breaking
Into broken pieces like her fractured
Heart. She is no longer aching
For your love. You already uttered
The unspeakable words to get her away
From you. Do you now see the truth?
Do you know how heavy that will weigh?
You extend a branch with that truce
She no longer wants. She is that bright
And smart girl you wish you still had,
But she is strong without you. The night
Is long gone just like she is. Do not be mad
If she disappears. She may be gone, but
She will be embedded into your spirit so you
Can never truly forget her. She is just a droplet
In the sky and a part of the grass that grew
From the ground up. She is a whisper and
A ghost away from being real, but
Is she really here? She is just another strand
Floating. She is no longer caught in the rut.
By the time you truly see her,
She will be a gone girl.

Father’s Day

I am so lucky enough to have the parents that I do. I did a special post about my mom for Mother’s Day and I am going to do the same for my dad in this post. There are so many things that people (including myself) could say about my dad. He is kind, gentle, strong, patient, hard working, and the list can go on. I have had hardships in my life and I am truly grateful that my parents (especially my dad in this case) have been there for me in every step along the way. I am trying to take Demi’s advice. She says to “Thank your parents for giving you the gift of life and doing their best.” I have always tried to show my appreciation towards my parents for all that they have done.

I scoured the internet for the right quote and I came across this quote that describes what my dad means to me. “A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.” I never really thought about it in that way since very recently. I have realized I have many similarities with my mom, but I have also realized that I share many things in common with my dad. We both like sports (especially baseball) and we can talk sports all day long (it would probably drive my mom crazy). Anyways, I just want to take this moment to show appreciation towards my dad and to say thank you for all that he has done. Words cannot describe how much I love you.

There is so much more that I can say about you, but I will let this poem speak for itself. I also want to show my appreciation towards the other fathers and dads across this world. I know that we are not all lucky enough to have a dad to call their own, so I want to take this moment to remind my readers (and others) to show thanks towards people who have been like father figures in their lives, whether it is a mom who plays a dual role of both being a mother and father, or an adoptive dad, or a 2nd or 3rd dad (like I have). I hope you all enjoy your day because you deserve it as much as the moms and mothers across the world as well.

My Father

To my father, a person I am

Lucky enough

To call my own. He is my jokester

With a corny sense of humor.

He is my source

Of wisdom and guidance.

He is my protector.

He is my heart and soul.

He is my kindness

And softness.

He does not have any hard edges,

But he is gentle and intelligent.

I am his daughter, his world and

Someone who will

Always love him.

We share sports and

Other common ground.

Just like my mother,

We share endless

Love and light.

He does not care about

My physical beauty

Because in his eyes,

None of that matters.

He pays no attention to

My flaws or imperfections.

In his eyes, I am perfect just as

I am. He makes me want to

Set high standards for whomever

Is trying to take his place. He is

My source of strength

And resilience. He is my teacher,

For he has taught me about equality

For every skin color, for every race,

For every gender and for every

Social class in this world.

He has taught me about compassion

And that nothing in life comes easy.

We all need to work hard every day.

He sees the negative and the positive

In everything. I am going to always

Be his daughter and baby.

He is going to always be

My dad and father.