Tag: messy ties

Lost and Found

Right off the bat I want to wish everyone a happy new year. May this year be great for everyone. Life is all about lost and found. We constantly lose things, but a lot of the time we gain things too. It may not be exactly like the thing we lost, but a lot of the time it is better. That is what this post is about. It is about things we have lost and gained. That brings me to my first quote of the post. “Remember, for everything you have lost, you have gained something else. Without the dark, you would never see the stars.” So in other words, for everything you have lost you will gain something else. People want to tend to focus on the things they lost instead of looking at the things they gained.

I am personally thankful for the things I have gained and lost because it got me to where I am today. That brings me to my next quote which sums up what this blog post is all about. “What you don’t have, you may gain; what you gain, you may lose; what you lose, you may regain. Life is a cycle of gaining and losing. So appreciate things before you lose them. And have faith that whatever you’ve lost will be replaced. Maybe in a different package, but enough to make you whole again.” In other words, we should be thankful for everything in life that comes and goes. You never know when something will come back to you in a different form. I hope that you all enjoy the poem down below.

P.S. I am going to start something new this year on this blog. To get everyone more involved I am going to start doing polls. I am going to leave it up to my readers what I talk about here. I am going to start off by doing it at least once a month and we will go from there.

Losing Me

I thought that losing you would really hurt me,
But it was when I lost myself, piece by piece
That ended up hurting the most because people
Can come and go, but I could never get another

Me. I know deep down there is no magical key
Or solution to getting rid of every single crease
That built me from scratch. Your loss was lethal
Like a bullet to the heart, but mine was what other

Words could not describe… bottomless and little
Hope to remain intact. Even after the dark and
Gloomy days ended there was a real chance for
Hope, but how can I love after a loss so turbulent?

How can I forget that you left me broken and brittle?
It is when I took a look at my heart beating in my hand
That I realized I could not take that chance for the door
To close and leave me behind. Your loss was permanent,

But I was okay with that because in the end I gained my
Happiness as you had no part in making me happy. You
Had no part in gaining the pieces I thought I lost forever.
You had no part in restoring the old me who was not

Broken. You were not part of the reason I stopped crying.
I lost you, but I gained a new sense of hope and a blue
Sky that had me smiling. I was not whoever or whatever
You wanted me to be because I was no longer a tangled knot.  

Spreading Your Roots

I think I have talked about making BIG changes. I feel like one of the biggest changes I have made as of recently is moving from my hometown of Oakland, CA to Portland, OR. That really has me thinking of this topic I will be talking about in this post. When I think of the meaning of spreading your roots it means to stay in a place where you feel like you found home and spreading your roots/seeds. I think I feel like I am finally starting to find my roots here in Portland. I have been slowly finding my community and feel like it is the place where I want to be for a while.

I have searched for a quote for this post and here is one that I came across. “Spreading your wings doesn’t mean leaving your roots behind; it means embracing the freedom to explore new territories while staying grounded in who you are.” So in other words just because you spread your wings and roots does not mean you forget who you are. It just means you have the freedom and ability to explore new places you have never been to before. In fact it keeps you even more grounded in who you are. Embrace where you come from. And on that note I will stop here. Enjoy the following poem.

Visual poem titled “New Place, New Beginning.” Image copyright by Elena Waller.

Temptation

Just a fair warning to those who read this post. It is going to be a short post because there is so much I could say about this, but I think I will let this poem speak for itself. Temptation… it is never a simple or easy thing/subject to talk about. So I’m just going to share the following poem which got me runner up position for a competition I participated in on DUP. Here you go. Enjoy!

“Temptation” visual poem. Received 2nd place in a competition on DUP.

Revenge

It is a busy time for me so I apologize for not posting anything for a while, but I am back now and let’s dive right in. Let us talk about revenge. Now when people think of revenge they think of something like hurting the person who hurt them because that is what that is the first instinct… to hurt someone who has hurt you. It is kind of like karma or returning the favor. We think of revenge as loud and maybe loud, but honestly the best kind of revenge is quiet. That way the person or people who hurt you do not see it coming. That leads me to my first quote of this post. Pranit Arya says “Sometimes silence is the best revenge.” I have to agree with that one because silence says so much. People expect the worst from you especially when you are hurting and angry, but the best way to get revenge is to stay silent instead of being loud.

The best thing is to never stoop to their level because what they did to you is beneath you and although you want to hurt them you should not really have to. Sometimes they do not mean to hurt you, but sometimes they do it on purpose they have been hurt too. It is just an endless cycle… people who hurt other people. The best revenge is not violence or wanting to hurt that person, but it is to move on, be happy, be yourself and be successful. That leads me to my next and final quote by Alissa Violet who says “The best revenge is no revenge. Move on. Be happy. Find inner peace. Flourish.” In other words do not even bother with revenge because the best revenge is to simply move on and be happy with your life. You deserve that much instead of causing problems and dwelling on people who bring you down. You need to focus on yourself and not others and what they did to you. It is as simple as that. I hope that you all enjoy the following poem.

Sweet Revenge

You wanted her pretty and submissive,
But she was wild and followed her
Own rules. She lived for the danger,
But to you she is sweet and addictive.
It is too bad that she was truly never
Yours because you were only a traitor.

Little did you know that all she wanted
Was revenge and she was dressed for
The kill, never stopping until she gets
What her heart wants. She outsmarted
You in the games and in the endless war.
You think that she would have regrets,

But she has none. She stole your key
To your heart, never to be seen again
As she is driving down the road and out of
Town. Today you might feel freedom,
But tomorrow you will feel her in the rain
And when you least expect her deep love

To seep through the cracks or crevices
She left behind for someone else to
Replace. You may say it is sabotage,
What she did to you, but selflessness
Is what she gave everyone and you
Took advantage of the goodness lodged

In her heart. It may be cold or calculated,
But her revenge mode is activated.

Faded Love

Hi there! I know that I have not posted for quite some time and for that I am sorry. Let’s dive right back in here. I know that I have talked about this subject for quite some time… love. But here I am going to talk about a type of love we do not always typically talk about. Love is not always sunshine or rainbows or flowers. Sometimes there is a type of love that fades away and we cannot always stop it from fading away or disappearing. Sometimes it is as simple as people who do not belong together and you know what… that is perfectly okay. Sometimes love is not that fairy tale or happy ending and this is what this blog post is all about. That brings me to my very first quote by Carolyn Meyer. “What had happened to our love? Somehow it had faded, or worn out, or simply withered away.” Something like love can be simply faded, worn out or withered away and it happens a lot more than we think it does.

This doesn’t always have to be related to love. It can be about anything or anyone in your life that fades away. That leads me to my next quote. “Sometimes you can’t choose what stays and what fades away.” So in other words some things fade and some things stay and you have no control over that. In the end some a lot of things like love simply fade away to make room for something better. That leads me to my next quote by Diego J. Carrillo Díaz who says “One day everything will start fading away and before you know it its all gone for good; making way for new and better things.” So it was like what I was saying before… things fade away to make room for the new and better.

We have to learn how to take care of something as precious as love because if we are not careful it could fade and die. That leads me to my next quote. “Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.” In other words love does not die naturally and we have to learn how to water it and let it grow. We have to learn to fix our mistakes and betrayal. We have to learn how to heal it and make it better. We have to do all of this because otherwise it will get faded, tarnished and withered.

On the other side of the spectrum nothing is going to be permanent including love and a lot of the time you cannot leave yourself empty handed or leave yourself with nothing when you do decide to leave and let that love fade away. That brings me to my next and final quote. “I have come to realise that nothing is permanent. No matter how much love you claimed you have for someone. It can fade away. Yours, or his. Just make sure when that time comes, you still have something left inside of you to keep you moving forward.” I have always learned this the hard way. Love is not always a permanent thing because even if they love you or you love them it still is something that can fade away over time and one of you still has to walk away with love in your hearts. You have to learn that it is okay to walk away if something does not feel right. Just make sure that you leave yourself with something still left inside of you that keeps you moving forward, not backwards or stuck in place.

I know this is a lot to take in and I was trying to make up for lost time with this lengthy post, but there is still a lot to learn from all of this. Like I said before love is not always a sure, definite or permanent thing and that is okay. It can become faded, especially when we do not take care of it. We have to treat it with care like it is something that is delicate and fragile. Otherwise it can wear and tare over time like anything else in life. Faded love is something we do not have control over. So my readers… I hope you learned something from this. And I hope you enjoy the following poem. Cheers!!

Faded Love

I loved you through it all,
The highs, the lows and
Everything in between but
Even as every single wall
Came down with your hand
In mine perfectly it was what
Tore our love into tiny pieces.
Some love is right there like
A shiny new toy and reaches
The stars but ours is on strike
And sits on an abandoned
Shelf, all alone and collecting
Dust along with the flattened
Sense of hope. It is reflecting
On you, not me as I always
Loved you, but you loved me
Far too late when yesterdays
Fade away into weeks. You see
Me for who I really am months
Too late. By then I have already
Moved to someone who confronts
Everything head on with a steady
Presence instead of waiting in
The shadows and for him to love
Me better than you could on even
Ground. So where did the pieces of
Love go when we both fled the scene?
We walked away with hands finally clean.

Out With the Old/In With the New

It is a new year. Happy 2023 everybody. To kick it off here is my first post of the new year. And I am sure it is a familiar subject for most if not all of you. It is out with the old and in with the new. That means we get rid of the old in order to bring in anything new. That leads me to my very first quote of this post. Eileen Caddy says “Life is full and overflowing with the new. But it is necessary to empty out the old to make room for the new to enter.” In other words we pretty much need to de clutter in order to make room for anything new. So this is the end to this post because although I could go on and on about this subject, but I will stop here.

Out With the Old, In With the New

I say goodbye to all the people and things weigh me down
Because if life taught us anything it is the fact that we do not
Deserve it when our megawatt smiles turn into sullen frowns.

Say goodbye to the things that turn our stomachs into knots
Much like a lasso that does not untangle or come undone.
Sometimes we miss the people we used to know and spots

Where we used to hang out. We are more worthy of the sun,
Moon and stars when we trust the people who give them to us
Instead of questioning their motives. Some days we have spun

Out of control, but we learn to let go of the things we fussed
Or fought over. Much like we shed the things that no longer fit
Us like the clothes and skin we used to wear, we adjust

To the changes and loads we must carry. So as the world sits
And watches just remember to breathe and never quit.

Blessings

Life is always a roller coaster ride, filled with many ups and downs. Sometimes we tend to focus on the bad or negative things. On the flip side we sometimes ignore the good or positive things. Whether it is good or bad, positive or negative, it does not matter. What matters is that we need to focus on our blessings. You know that saying a blessing in disguise? That is what this post is about. We can say that when things are going bad it it is a blessing in disguise. That leads me into the first quote of this post by Oscar Wilde. He says “What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessing in disguises.” So when we think of something as bitter or bad or negative it is actually disguised as a blessing or something good.

I could go on and on about this topic but I will conclude by sharing one last quote and this poem to end this year of 2022. Manisha Shrestha Bundela says “Hard times are often blessings in disguise. Let go and let life strengthen you. No matter how much it hurts, hold your head up and keep going. This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a rough day, a bad month, or a crappy year. Truth be told, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your spirit needs most. Your past was never a mistake if you learned from it. So take all the crazy experiences and lessons and place them in a box labeled ‘Thank You.’” And with that I wish you all a merry Christmas, happy holidays and a happy new year. See you next year!

Good Blessings

I tumbled headfirst yet I still keep
My footing on stable ground.
The light was there as I was deep
In the darkness. I was crowned
With so many blessings even as
The blessings turned ugly and had
Thorns, but my foot was on the gas
Pedal going through all the bad
Patches and weeds trying to slow
Me down. I held my head high
As the constant ebb and flow
Was trickling. Saying goodbye
Was right there on my tongue,
But the blessings kept coming
And made me forever young.
I was walking instead of running
Towards everything I was once
Afraid of. Nothing is diminishing
My spirits or keeps me from the suns
As I am one step closer to finishing.

Community

I just want to apologize to everyone for the long hiatus. Things have been just crazy with life in general. I am sure that you heard my story of how I got started in poetry. I started writing in middle school and have been in love with it ever since. I use it mostly as an outlet… a way for me to try to get my feelings and thoughts out on paper so I had it somewhere instead of just in my head.

Another reason why I enjoy writing poetry so much is that it gives me a way to connect with others. I really just happened to stumble across Deep Underground Poetry and thanks to a friend of mine who also joined. I am thankful to that friend because Deep Underground Poetry has become a community. It has given me a chance to connect with other writers and it is an environment I feel safe in to be myself and share my work. Here is a quote by Mary Karr who describes it the best. “Poetry is for me Eucharistic. You take someone else’s suffering into your body, their passion comes into your body, and in doing that you commune, you take communion, you make a community with others.” That is what poetry really means to me, especially in the poetry community.

This post is dedicated to the Deep Underground Poetry community and to Bluevelvete who’s work I have been following. The following poem is a competition I participated in and received runner up. Thank you for being an inspiration and giving me the push and drive I need to keep writing. I thank each and everyone from the bottom of my heart. This community has been welcoming and has welcomed me with open arms.

Soft like Velvet

Just like flower petals you open up.
When life is feeling empty and
Extremely heavy you are the cup
That always remains full. You hand

Me parts of your soul and spirit
When mine is giving up. Your words
Bring hope. They are my one ticket
To the light in the darkness. Like birds

You fly me to a safer place. So my
Darling, I hope you never stop letting
The words float across the page die
Away. You are the soft and safe netting,

Protecting everyone. You are the ying
To my yang and the sweet to my sour.
You are like my miracle in the spring.
So I am thankful for you in every hour.

War

I apologize for not posting in a long time. I know that there is a lot going on with the world right now, but the main thing I’m thinking about is the war going on with the Ukraine and Russia. I feel like war is never the answer because it only brings pain, suffering and does not resolve anything. That leads me to my first quote of this post by Janet Morris who says “Wars don’t bring lasting peace, only lasting death.” And I feel like that quote is so true. On the other side of the spectrum is peace. That is something we need more of every day. I could go on and on about war and peace, but I think I will just leave it here.

“War Survivor” visual poem.

Real and True Love

I know that this post is a week late with Valentine’s Day just a couple of weeks ago, but I guess it is never too late when we talk about this subject. I just recently had a conversation with my closest friend who went through a bad breakup. I won’t go into all the details of what happened because that is her business. With that conversation and with everything that I have gone through in the past with past relationships I will talk about this subject of real and true love. I feel like this is a subject we can all relate to in one way or another. I think it is what a lot of us aim and strive for when we are looking for that right relationship. And for the most part it will find you rather than the other way around. That leads me to my first quote of this post. “When love is real it finds a way.” This echoes almost exactly what I said just before. It is what my best friend said to me once upon a time. True love will find you, especially when you least expect it. It could happen at work or it could really happen anywhere and with anyone.

We tend to think of love stories of having an ending, but I think the truth is that true love never has an ending. That leads me to my next quote. Richard Bach says “True love stories never have endings.” It is like what I said before… true love does not have an ending. I think that is why it is sometime called never ending love. It is love that never ends. A love that lasts until the day you both die. A love that you makes you feel cool and calm. I probably shared this quote already, but if I haven’t here it is. Monica Drake says “The Buddhists say if you meet somebody and your heart pounds, your hands shake, your knees go weak, that’s not the one. When you meet your ‘soul mate’ you’ll feel calm. No anxiety, no agitation.” Usually people tell you that your soulmate gives you butterflies and makes your knees go week. This quote is saying the opposite. Your soulmate should make you feel calm with no anxiety. They can still give you butterflies (the good kind).

I am fortunate enough to have a great example of what true and real love is. I look at the example of my parents. They have love that is undeniable. Yes, they fight and argue, but at the end of the day they still love each other. Love is imperfect. Once you find that real and true love you fight hard to keep it. You just have to make sure that love is mutual. That means if you love them they should love you back in return. In other words, it should not be a one sided type of love. That brings me into my next quote. “Love isn’t perfect. It isn’t a fairytale or a storybook and it doesn’t always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, and impossible to live without. Love is work, but
most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it together.” In other words, love has its imperfections, but sometime it is worth all the hard work, especially when you work together, not against each other.

I could go and on about this, but I will say this… it is a little piece of advice a friend once gave me, especially after leaving a relationship. Take the time to sit down with a piece of paper and make what could be kind of a checklist of everything you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/future spouse. I keep adding to the list and I know that it is still floating around somewhere. If I ever do find it I will definitely share it with you all. She said to include it in your vows whenever you do get married.

I will share two final final quote with you all. Ali Larter says “You know it’s right when you feel this undeniable connection and chemistry.” In other words, you just know when it is the right type of love. Love goes way beyond chemistry. You can just feel it in your head and heart. The second one by Pierre Alex Jeanty says “True love will come. It will not bring pain, but healing. It will not
bring confusion, but clarity. It will not awaken your insecurities, but put them to sleep. Real love will come and wipe away all the wrong experiences. Hold on.” In other words, hold on until you find that real love. That quote ties into one of the other quotes of this post about finding someone who makes you calm. Your soulmate is like a teammate or parter. They support you and have you putting away your insecurities/doubts.

I just encourage everyone to never give up on true or real love. This post is dedicated to my best friend since elementary school. I love you. This post and poem is dedicated to you. I hope someday you find someone who can give you that real feeling of love because you deserve it!

The Purest Love

All I wanted for you to do was to take me
Home, but every time I look into your eyes
I am already there. With your clothes
Thrown around my room and in this bed
With my head against your chest I think
To myself… this is all I ever really wanted.

With you in my head and my lungs I see
A bright future. All of the other guys
Could have me, but with all the oaths
I made to you the oaths stand true. I sink
To my knees because you are in my head
And heart. Others have never haunted

My dreams quite like you do. Somehow I
Thought every man before you was going
To save me, but I had to save myself and
Be okay with being by myself before
I could ever let anyone else in. I let you
In even with a protected and guarded

Heart. I saw my reflection in your eyes
And saw myself as you saw me… glowing
And filled with happiness. With your hands
All over me I was home. With the door
Of the past closed I could breathe. Too
Many times I thought I would be discarded

On the side of the road like I was totally
Forgotten about, but you picked me up
When the darkness became too much.
I just wanted for the good parts of our
Story to be what people remember when
They think about love. I was never afraid

Of losing to love, but losing the brokenly
Parts to my enemies who wanted my cup
To remain empty. It was your firm touch
That saved me. With every waking hour
I just want to to spend them all within
Your loving embrace. I never prayed

For anything more than what my parents
Have…. A strong and gentle love. An
Equal partnership. Love that lasts until
We are old and gray. Something that holds
My hand and heart with such carefulness.
Someone who will say I do at the end of

The aisle with sureness and assurance.
Promises with vows and rings with plans
For the future, giving my heart stillness
And not shakiness. When the truth unfolds
You will dive in with me with fearlessness
And with no room to be afraid. This is love.