Tag: messy ties

Mary Oliver Tribute

As I became older in age I also became a huge fan of Mary Oliver. Her work is simple, but also very rich. I just wanted to write a post dedicated to her since she recently passed away. I have a few of her books, but one of my favorite poems in hers is called “The Journey,” which goes like this:

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice –
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
“Mend my life!”
each voice cried.
But you didn’t stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do –
determined to save
the only life you could save.

I wrote a poem that is a spin off of that poem, but before I share it with you I wanted to explain more why she is one of my favorites. I love a lot of her poems, but she also paved the way for the next generation of writers and poets. She shares her wisdom and she makes me become a better poet. There are so many of her quotes that are quite amazing, but there is one or two that stick out to me. The first one is, “So tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one and precious life?” In that quote she asks us what we are going to do because we only have one life and we each have a different plan/path to follow. The second quote is, “For poems are not words, after all, but fires for the cold, ropes let down to the lost, something as necessary as bread in the pockets of the hungry.” In other words, poems are not just simply words, but they are something that is necessary and essential for everyone. They almost always bring some sense of hope. That is what I like about Mary Oliver. She is someone who provides that hope and fire. I love that her pieces focus on nature too.

So here is that poem that I wrote in tribute to Mary Oliver. It is also a poem I submitted for a competition on DUP and won runner-up for it. Wherever you are Mary Oliver, I hope you rest in peace. I strongly encourage all of my readers to read her work. I know that you will not regret it.

The Journey (After Mary Oliver)

The journey starts with one small step. It is one step into the world
Where the tides and waves all rush to meet at your feet as you walk
In the sand on the beach’s shoreline, following endless words curled

On forgotten pages. Above all the endless noise, chatter and the talk
Of those around you is where you begin to find your bearings. It is
When you see the stars and you are away from the advice of a hawk

You find your voice. You want someone else to come fix and un-fizz
Your life like the aftermath of a chaotic storm or glass of champagne,
But it starts within you. You pried and took the truth from her or his

Delicate fingers. They may blame it on the wind because with the rain
It knocks everything sideways and makes everything damp, but you
Have to do what you needed to do all along. The naked truth may stain

Their souls, making them yell why? But someday when the sky is blue
Again they will understand that it was all a part of the journey. It was
All a part to saving one life, which is only yours. It may echo through

The empty house that might tremble like an earthquake, but the buzz
Finally clears and you stand there with the answers that make sense.
It is like all the overgrowing weeds and the clouds that used to cause

Worry has disappeared into the surrounding atmosphere. The fence
That separates you from the rest of the world has crumbled into ash.
It is like life’s naysayers, worries and doubts are all in the past tense

Because what happened in the past has no place in the now. You dash
Into the pouring rain so you can feel alive and to hear something other
Than the voices that live in your head. There are days when you crash

And burn, but you still keep going on with one step at a time to another
Fork in the road. Where should you go? Whichever way gets you further.

Superpower

I have really been into the superhero stuff these days, especially with the things I watch on Netflix like The Flash, Supergirl, Marvel’s Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., etc. They all have different superpowers like strength, speed, etc. I always thought about what my superpower would be if I were a superhero. I think I will stick with either invisibility or strength. Those seem like good options. I am going to give you a quote from the man of steel himself, Superman. “You’re much stronger than you think you are. Trust me.” And he is right. We are stronger than we think we are. I think strength not only comes from the outside, but within. We just have to trust that we are strong. We do not have to be as strong as Superman or Superwoman, but strength makes us powerful. So go ahead and find your superpower because someday the world might need it!! Here is a poem I wrote for a competition about having strength as a superpower on DUP. As it so happens I won. Here it is… Enjoy!!

Strength of Armor

Can you feel all my strength? It is strong enough to lift
Mountains that have tried to tear and weigh me down.
It is radiating even stronger than Greek God Krato’s gift,
Being strong enough to tear through this dead end town
And all it’s no good people. It is powerful enough to start
Every tornado or hurricane that touches down and slams
Into the west coast shoreline. My precious and gold heart
That will be leaving everyone behind in pieces while I am
Still standing here with my indestructible, yet solid armor.
People want a war? Well, they got one once they stand in
My way or path of destruction. I am a beginner and starter
Of every fire. I help everyone drown in his or her own sin.

Stars

Okay… we are finally talking about one of my favorite topics, stars. I know that I talked about it in one of my previous posts just briefly, but I get to talk about it in full length right here. I do not even know where to start. I guess I will start off by talking about why I love them. I have always had a strong connection to them. After learning about them when I was in school, I developed a fondness of them. When I took astronomy in college, it renewed my interest in them. I was always curious about our connection to the stars. They are beautiful to look at, that is for sure. Just a fair warning that this is going to be a longer post and there are going to be a lot of quotes. Just keep that in mind. With that being said… stars are said to be healing. There is nothing better than seeing the stars late at night and I feel like they can heal many things. “Don’t underestimate the healing power of these three things… Music. The Ocean. Stars.” And that quote is far from incorrect.

I feel like they are our connection to everything in this world. It is our connection to the darkness, the moon, the sun, life and everything in between. The first one I want to talk about is the darkness in relation to the stars. There is this quote, which I am finally understanding. “The darkest nights produce the brightest stars.” So in other words, the darker the nights are the better it is that we will see the stars, something I view as hope and better days ahead. We would also not be able to see the stars without darkness and night. The next one is the connection between the stars and the moon. They have a deep connection because the moon is in the sky when the stars are too. There is this quote by Les Brown and this is one of my favorites. “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.” So even if you miss the moon, you will still have the stars. Something that will also bring some hope. In other words, you will a chance, even when you miss your first shot. The sun, just like the moon, has a strong connection to the stars. Since I love stars and this is my first post of 2019 I will throw in another poem. The second poem is about the Northern Lights, which are super important. Just looking at pictures of them is really magical and I hope to see them in person one day. I know that this post has been a little all over the place, but I just want to say there is an expression “stop to smell the roses.” I feel like there should be something similar like “stop to look at the stars.” I am sure there is something like that already, but there it is. Happy new year and 2019!!

Looking at the Stars

Stardust
forms a birthplace
as elements combust

like explosions, they are still a part of space
and time. Stars are formed like
constellations that we trace

with our fingers as we enter a dreamlike
state of mind. There we wish upon
a star. There we find our lucky strike

and connection as we are drawn
to the darkness. We are all made
of stardust that may be gone

forever with the novas. Particles are strayed
and are tiny to our eye,
but the dust is the reason why we wade

our way through life. They die
for us to live and breathe.
They free float in the sky

until they land beneath
our skin. The energy is reused.
Their spirit lives on and is a bequeath

to our bodies. They are forever fused
with the stars. The history
leaves us bemused

and fascinated with the mystery
of what they represent.
They are the ongoing story.

We are meant
to collapse at night
when our energy is spent.

We can burn bright
during the day and see
the dark skylight

before dawn. Let there be
no reason to be afraid of
the stars, where we

are formed and come from. The above
heavens bring us peace.
We show them love.

Everything will cease
as we lay under them.
Every piece

is like a gem,
precious and beautiful to look toward.
We forget about all the mayhem.

We should not have pondered
the universe.
The stars keep us anchored

to this world. We submerse
ourselves into the depths of the stars
and reflect back their inverse.

We forget our scars
and here we have fresh starts.

 

My visual poem titled “Northern Lights.”

Growth

As this year and 2018 comes to an end I want talk about something important. I know that I have talked about something similar in my post “Growing Up,” but as much as the subjects are close similar they are different. We all experience growth at some point, right? Growth is not always sunshine and rainbows because sometimes growth can be just downright painful. It is not just growth, but personal growth. “Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere we don’t belong.” Yes, things in life are painful as I said, but nothing is worse than staying somewhere you do not belong. That is why growth is so important.

Growth is something that is not easy because it can be downright scary and it sometimes take a lot of reflection. You have to think for yourself, especially for something like personal growth. There is this quote I found that is essential to personal growth. “Sometimes personal growth is going to cost you friends, relationships, jobs and material things. Don’t ever stop growing or put your dreams and aspirations on hold in order to keep people and things in your life. It’s not selfish to put yourself and your happiness first, keep growing.” In other words, you cannot let certain people or things keep you from growing and that is especially important, especially in a relationship. I think a part of being in a relationship is growing and building together. That is one piece of advice my mom gave me at one point. She pretty much said you cannot be with someone if they do not help you grow and flourish. If it means cutting off those certain people or things and walking away, so be it. Which is pretty much similar to another quote I have come to love. “The woman you’re becoming will cost you people, relationships, spaces and material things. Choose her over everything.” That quote is a lot like the one I already posted. It is pretty much saying to choose the woman and person you are becoming over everything else.

All that being said… I just want to say that 2018 has been a year of growth. I had to walk away from at least a few situations that were not the best ones to be in and I learned so much. That is another thing about growth… you can definitely learn something from it and it is a process. Here is another quote. “Growth is a process. You gain, you lose, you cry, you grow, you learn, you try, you fail, but you keep trying.” I feel like if you are not growing you are not learning and vice versa. So here is to my readers and my last post of 2018. May you never be afraid of growth because it is just simply another part of life. The good thing is that growth helps you mature and find better things out there. You truly never stop growing or learning. Happy (early) New Year and 2019!! May you all have a happy and healthy start to the new year. And since it is the end of another year I am going to include another quote to end the year on a good note. “If you know me based on who I was a year ago, you don’t know me at all. My growth game is strong. Allow me to reintroduce myself.” Cheers and enjoy these two poems. The other poem is what I resolve to do in 2019 and the new year. Happy reading!!

When Thing Grow – A Villanelle

Make room for things to grow
And mend in your heart cavity.
You have to plant and sow

Your roots. You always know
To stand tall, letting gravity
Make room for things to grow

Into a garden. No sign of a crow,
Signaling your end of depravity.
You have to plant and sow

All of your seeds. You show
Your speed and concavity.
Make room for things to grow

And twist into balls of dough,
With elasticity of your morality.
You have to plant and sow

For everything that will glow
And shine like your reality.
Make room for things to grow.
You have to plant and sow.

2019 New Year’s Resolutions

With 2019 just around the corner I resolve to be loving myself
And be selfish because my love for others is on the high shelf,
Just out of reach. I resolve to be kind to my mind, body and
Gentle soul. I resolve to be patient because I fully understand
That time is precious. I resolve to live every day to the fullest
With sunshine and laughter. I resolve to never let the dullest
Of moments fade away into nothingness. I resolve to let all
The bad memories go and to hang onto the good ones. I fall
But then to get back up and keep going. Life is a battlefield
And I resolve to walk through the fire. I resolve to be healed.

Dark Room

I think I have talked about darkness before, so this may sound a little like a repeat. We have all been in darkness at some point and this may sound a little weird, but we may have all been in a dark room at some point too. I am going to leave that up to interpretation because everyone has their own definitions of darkness and a dark room. I think of it like when you are home alone and you sleep in your dark room. It can be scary and nerve wracking for sure. You may try to turn on the TV or listen to music or doing something to calm your nerves. There are some people who do enjoy it. Either way you learn so much about yourself and there are so many things that can happen. I feel like we are blessed to have things that are dark because it makes us appreciate it that much more. You have to trust it or as one of my favorite hip-hop artists, Kendrick Lamar questions in his song, Poetic Justice with Drake, “If I told you that a flower bloomed in a dark room, would you trust it?” In other words, you have to believe in the darkness and dark room regardless of what happens in this world.

I do not believe that people realize that a dark room is a sacred place. We have all cried, laughed and done other things in between these four walls. I guess in a way they hold our secrets and the truth. It is something to be thankful for as silly as it sounds. I guess what I am saying is to embrace the darkness and dark room as much as you embrace the light, as well as everything else in life. You never know what you might discover in a dark room. Sure, you cannot see as much, but you trust your eyes and things that you may not always see, but sometimes you can feel it. I think I finally found a quote that describes it a bit better. “If you are in a pitch dark room, wait for a few seconds and your eyes gradually start seeing! Patience gives clarity.” In other words, you begin slowly adjust to being in darkness. People are afraid to be in a dark room, but you never know until you try.

In This Dark Room

The dark room begins swaying and tilting.
How the hell did I get here? Maybe I had too
Many shots and drinks from the night before.
I remember your gaze, burning and wilting
Something deep within my fiery soul. You
And me finally all alone with a locked door.
No one was around to watch. I really wanted
To take you home, but we never got that far
As your hands wandered all over me and my
Body. I could not breathe. You have a haunted
Presence that I cannot shake off. Every scar
Is hidden away. We cannot see the blue sky
Inside the darkness anymore. I wish I could
Retain the color of your eyes before the lights
Went out and when our clothes slowly began
Disappearing.  I want to recall all of the good
And clear memories. We all have dark nights
And shadows, but you are always the same man
Within these four walls. Right here is where we
Made a lifetime of moments and memories. No
Truer words spoken than in a room that holds
Our secrets closely. A sacred place that will see
More to come.  No sunlight, but we will grow.
In time everything becomes beautiful and unfolds.

Appreciation For All We Do Have

I have not posted for a while, cannot believe it has been about a month since the last time I posted. Things have been that busy I guess. I wanted to post something about Thanksgiving and I know I am about a week late, but I guess it is better to be late than never. We have a tendency to complain about all the things we do not have instead of all the things we do have. It is just a part of our human nature to worry more about the things we do not have and we forget to appreciate the good things in life.

There are several good quotes about appreciation, thankfulness and gratefulness, but this is one of the best ones I could find by Wale Ayeni who says, “Be thankful for what you have. Your life, no matter how bad you think it is, is someone else’s fairytale.” So in other words, even when your life is bad someone else’s life could be worse or better. I know things have not been going well for some people, but there is so much to be thankful for. I could give a list of what and who I am thankful for. Maybe this list would inspire others to do the same. In fact people should write at least 5 things they are grateful/thankful for. I will start (and it really has not changed much over the years although I keep adding to it). Here it is and I wrote two poems about what I am thankful/grateful for.My list is as follows and might be long so bear with me (and it is not in any particular order:

  1. My parents
  2. My friends – including my two BFFs
  3. My second family on the West and East Coast
  4. Poetry
  5. Music
  6. My sister
  7. My brother
  8. Family friends
  9. Family
  10. Sunrises
  11. Sunsets
  12. Laughter
  13. Love
  14. Heartbreak
  15. Being broke
  16. Failures
  17. Happiness
  18. Roses (and other flowers)
  19. Rain
  20. Sunshine
  21. Chocolate
  22. Food
  23. Shelter
  24. Therapy (favorite store)
  25. My therapist
  26. Clothes
  27. Baking
  28. Exes
  29. Color
  30. And many more things

Here are my two poems I wrote. I forgot to mention this before and I know I need to do more of this, but I hope you show your appreciation to those who have been there for you because there might be a day when they will not be here. Enjoy and be thankful for what you have every single day. You will not regret it one bit.

Thankful For…

The muse that makes every morning more bearable.
All the hugs and kisses that are keeping me stable.
The whispers behind my back that are making me
Grateful for every kind word. When someone sees
Me for the mess that I am, but is continuing to love
Me anyways. To know that the bright world is full of
Harshness and darkness, but there is knowledge that
There is a smile behind the clouds. The quiet and flat
Laughter turning into sunny merriment coming down
The long hallways. When it felt like you could drown
In sorrow and sadness, but the smell of roses turns
That frown into bright eyes. All the scars and burns
Beginning to repair or heal themselves. The tears
That are drying all on their own and all of the fears
That make me strong. The women who came before
And paved the path for me to follow. Hearing my roar.
Being Thankful For Everything
Life has me thankful for it all…
The easy ups and sharp downs.
The pain and every single tear.
My solid and protective wall.
Smiles emerging from frowns.
The hope blooming after fear
Dies away. The times I laughed.
The mistakes I have made. The
People who are there for me.
Moments not photographed.
My safe place. When there is a
Feeling of peace. The rough sea
That becomes calm. The stars
That are still shining. My heart.
Every day that I am still alive
And breathing. Words that are
Mine. Chance for a new start
And the ability to deep dive.

Beginning of Autumn/Fall

Hi everyone. We are halfway through October and I know it has been a while since I posted. Fall is definitely upon us and there are so many things to like about fall like the leaves changing or the change in weather. Whatever it is, I can think of very few reasons to not like fall or maybe I am just biased because it is definitely one of my favorite seasons. The one thing I do not like is the days getting shorter. It is a way to say goodbye to summer and hello to fall/autumn. Here is a quote about fall that I have come to really like. “Autumn paints in colors summer has never seen.” I think that is why autumn is one of my favorite seasons. We get these vivid colors like orange and red, which is different than summer. So I wish my readers a happy fall/autumn. Stay warm and toasty, my friends!! Happy reading.

The Man in the Arena

I am going to do things a little different because this post is going to be a little bit different. This post is inspired by a competition I took part in on DUP and I won this particular competition just recently. The host of this competition took an excerpt from Theodore Roosevelt’s “Citizenship In A Republic” speech which was delivered at the Sorbonne in Paris, France on April 23, 1910. It goes like this… “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” So I took some inspiration from that and wrote a poem based on my interpretation of that speech. Here you go. Cheers!!

Still In the Arena

The glory that is smeared all over my blade like blood.
The crowd may laugh and point at me because I got dirt
On my face, but they duck for cover as they hear the thud

Of feet heading their way. They are all cowards as I hurt,
Stumble, and feel the pain, but I still stay upright. My
Enemy is not the one with sweat all over his torn shirt.

I am the one who is still staying in the arena, eye to eye
With my fears and doubts all on display, but I am not
Scared of failure. I am not terrified of those tears I cry

As they splatter because I made it through every knot.
I survived as everyone around me whispered and crude
Remarks kept coming my way. Every battle that I fought

Was not for the applause or for the ones who screwed
Me over, but for the one who has shown up day after day
And was ready for every fight, me. My hope was renewed

And my faith was stronger than ever before. Every ray
Of sunshine could never shine too bright and the rain
Could never keep me inside. The rocks that try to weigh

Me down feel weightless as feathers and the windowpane
Has no beauty compared to what is happening in the arena.
I am the last one standing and I have gone against the grain.

For The Next Generation

I am not sure if I have talked about this yet, but if I did, my apologies. I am talking about the next generation here. I know that I have said I have concerns for the next generations because of what I see and read about. Sometimes I cannot help, but think about when I have kids, what I would say or give them advice about because there are so many things I could say. There are so many things I wish I could do to make this world a better place for them when they enter this world. All of the violence we see every day and the way we are leaving this world unclean. I wish that I could get rid of that so they would never see that, but those are lessons they need to learn and how to be kind to one another, etc. Like I said there is so much I want to give them advice about, so there is a poem that I wrote that will express what I want for my future child/children. I will get to that at the end of this post.

I am going to dive right in because I want to keep this on the shorter side. One thing I would want them to know is best said by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She says “We need to teach the next generation of children their responsibilities from day one that they are responsible for their lives. Mankind’s greatest gift, also its greatest curse, is that we have a free choice. We can make our choices built from love or from fear.” So in other words, we each have responsibilities. It is harder to build something from hate rather than love. I wrote more for my future daughter because although both girls and boys go through a lot, I feel like it is a tougher world for young women to live in. This poem is for you.

To My Future Children

To My Future Daughter:

I hope that you find someone who not only
Worships your body, but also your soul and
Everything about you. You are not made to
Only give him pleasure. When you are lonely,
You feel like someone will misunderstand
You. Do not be tempted to make the sky blue
Or make a home out of someone else’s body
Until you understand the universe inside of
You because although it tends to tilt, swirl,
And change it is still your essence. Embody
Your faults and fissures. You possess a love
Filled with stars. You are no longer the girl
I once held in my arms, but you have become
A woman with a mind and opinions. Speak
Your truth and never let anyone or anything
Hold you back. Darling, you have come from
A mother who gave you the world, so seek
And keep exploring it too. Never stop. Sing
Your song at the top of your lungs. Smile.
Laugh. Cry. Learn. I hope that you grow as
Tall like beautiful sunflowers. Be witty.
I hope you will walk and run every mile
That tries to keep you from your topaz-
Sparkling world like the Emerald City.

To My Future Son:

I hope that you are always giving the respect
Women deserve. I hope you become a man
Who loves their smart minds and not just their
Bodies. I hope what you give should not collect
Like raindrops and be fully forgotten, but can
Be used to water those sunflowers. Be the air
That they can trust. Do not be selfish in giving
Everyone the love they deserve and love hard,
But do not become a hallow shell. A woman will
Love you for being yourself. Always be forgiving
Of her past mistakes because she will be scarred
And flawed, not always perfect. Chase your thrill,
But never forget any of her dreams or aspirations.

To My Future Daughter or Son:

Never let anyone take away your foundations.

Euphoria

You know the saying “you have to do what makes you happy?” We all should know that by now. It does not matter what you do or who you are with as long as that person or thing makes you happy. That feeling is called euphoria. When you look up euphoria one of the definitions is as follows (from dictionary.com). “a state of intense happiness and self-confidence.” There is a quote that explains it the best way, in terms of finding that person who makes you feel that. “When you find someone who can make you laugh. Smile. Grow. Lust. Want. Crave. Make you mad but happy. Keep that. That’s euphoria.” But I have also learned that you do not always have to find it within someone else because you can always find it within yourself. It is above happiness. I can go on and on about euphoria, but I will stop there. I hope that my readers go out into the world and find their euphoria. Happy reading! And I will leave you with one more quote by Bill Watterson who says “That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!”

In the Present Moment

Laugh, smile and dance like there is no tomorrow.
It is in that moment, even in the fast pouring rain
That you truly forget about life and every sorrow.

Those tears that you thought would forever stain
Your soul have freed you from the burdens resting
On your shoulders. You are disentangled from pain

Lingering deep within your bones. You are testing
Your strength by walking away from situations that
Are not good and from people who are not investing

In your growth or adding to your happiness. Chitchat,
Noise and the horizon is what you strive to be above.
You deserve more than an empty promise and a flat

Line because you have much to offer with your love.
You always bring peace to this world like a flying dove.