Tag: moving on

Moving on From Heartbreak

I know this is a subject I have talked about many times. But I thought I would share some more thoughts on this subject, especially the aftermath or what happens after the heartbreak. I have to admit that I have had my heart broken at least a few times. It is something that is hard to move on from and it takes time to really heal. It could take days, weeks, months and some times even years to really move on. There is no definite timeline for how long it takes because it varies person to person. That is why we should not be defined by our heartbreaks because we have all experienced at some point or another. That brings me into my first quote of this post. “You are not defined by a heartbreak. You are defined by how you rise above it and move forward.” In other words you should never be judged or defined by how you experienced heartbreak, but by how you go above it and move on. It is as simple as that.

It is better to move on than stay and dwell on it. It is okay to sit and reflect on it for a little bit, but at some point you have to move on. I know that it is hard to see the good side after a heartbreak, but there is a good side to getting heartbroken, trust me. That leads me to my next quote. Heidi Klum says “I’ve been heartbroken. I’ve broken hearts. That’s part of life, and its part of figuring out who you are so you can find the right partner.” In other words, heartbreak is a part of life. It really tests and makes sure the right people are in your life. I have been on both ends of heartbreak. I have been on the giving and receiving ends of it. Either way it is no fun. But at the end of the day you deserve the right person/people in your life. I could probably go and on about this subject, but I will conclude right here.

I will leave you with one final quote and apologies for it being so long, but it essential. “Heart break. Everyone at some point in their life is going to experience it. And, you know what?It’s probably one of the most painful things a person has to go through. I’m not going to lie. When you get your heart broken, it feels like it shattered into a million pieces. It’s like that person you were head over heels for stomped mercilessly on your heart. It feels like your heart is being shredded to pieces, cut up, and thrown in the trash, left to rot. It hurts a lot, emotionally and physically. Getting heart broken actually makes your heart physically hurt. You cry and cry and wish it wasn’t like this. You wish it was just a temporary nightmare. But, the sad truth? It’s not. It’s reality. And you’re going to just have to accept it, the pain and all.” In other words, heartbreak hurts, but you just have to accept it all and move on. Here is a poem to enjoy. Cheers!

Moving On from Heartbreak

I stood waiting for my heart to repair
Itself but little did you know you had
The power to break it. That despair

I felt did nothing to replace the bad
Feeling I had that this was the end,
But I still have to protect and clad

Myself in the finest armor to send
A message you could never break
Me or my heart. You left me to fend

For myself as the wolves would take
Everything I once held sacred. You
Mistook my kindness for a snake

You can easily get rid of. As my blue
Sky came back to life I knew in this
Moment I would be ok. You misconstrue

What it took me to move on. My bliss
Would not be destroyed by your abyss.

Forgiveness

I know that this is something I have talked about before… forgiveness. It is such a tricky thing to navigate, but it is something that is important to discuss. Forgiveness is about forgiving others and sometimes it is about forgiving yourself. A lot of the time it is forgiving yourself and others at the same time. That brings me to my first quote of this post. Morrie Schwartz says “Learn to forgive yourself and to forgive others.” As we start the new year this is what I think about because in order to move on into a new season/new year forgiveness is a big part of moving on. We do not necessarily have to forgive in order to move on, but forgiveness is something that is important if we want to let go of the things that are hurting us. Even if the other person is not sorry we should learn to forgive them anyways, but like I just said forgiveness is not necessary in order to move on. I think Taylor Swift says it in the best way. She says “You know, people go on and on about, like, you have to forgive and forget to move past something. No, you don’t. You don’t have to forgive and you don’t have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things happening. You just become indifferent, and then you move on.” So in other words you do not necessarily have to forgive people.

Like I said before it is important to forgive yourself as much as it is important to forgive others. That is a huge thing we can all learn in life. Yes, forgiving others is important, but forgiving yourself is more important. We are all imperfect and flawed in some way or another. This brings me to my next quote of this post by D. Muthukrishnan. They say “If you cannot forgive yourself, you cannot forgive others.” In other words, forgiving yourself is important in order to forgive others because if we cannot forgive ourselves then how in the hell can we forgive others? Like I said we are all imperfect and make mistakes. We are only human after all. That concludes this post. I hope you take the time to really digest what forgiveness means to you and enjoy the following poem about forgiveness. Before I conclude this post I will leave you with one final quote. Suzanne Somers says “Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” So in other words, forgiveness is something you give yourself, not to other people. That concludes this post.

Forgiveness

I am sorry… the words that are dripping
From the mouth that should taste sweet
Like honey, but in the heart they taste like
Blood, full of copper and salt. Do you truly
Mean those simple words or are you tripping
Over false words and promises? Your feet
Carry you to the ocean where you dislike
The waves, but drowning in your newly

Found duty to be honest with yourself and
Those you hurt should mean something.
How can you live with yourself when you
Can feel the flames on your skin? How can
You forgive others when you cannot stand
To forgive yourself? Maybe you are numbing
The pain inflicted by others. Maybe the blue
Parts of your soul heal from the pain you ran

Away from. All you know is that forgiveness
Should not feel like something that hurts as
Much as a bullet to the heart. It should not
Have to be as painful as being in love with
Someone who does not love us or give us
What we need in return which are the paths
To redemption and forgiveness. The knot
May become untangled, but you re-breathe

Life. Forgiveness is never easy, but neither
Is leaving her behind – the girl who used
To never believe in forgiveness or apologies.
Now she wears those words proudly on her skin.
I am sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry. The keeper
Of words that used to be fractured and bruised,
But now they are the words of higher qualities,
A different place than where she used to begin.

Revenge

It is a busy time for me so I apologize for not posting anything for a while, but I am back now and let’s dive right in. Let us talk about revenge. Now when people think of revenge they think of something like hurting the person who hurt them because that is what that is the first instinct… to hurt someone who has hurt you. It is kind of like karma or returning the favor. We think of revenge as loud and maybe loud, but honestly the best kind of revenge is quiet. That way the person or people who hurt you do not see it coming. That leads me to my first quote of this post. Pranit Arya says “Sometimes silence is the best revenge.” I have to agree with that one because silence says so much. People expect the worst from you especially when you are hurting and angry, but the best way to get revenge is to stay silent instead of being loud.

The best thing is to never stoop to their level because what they did to you is beneath you and although you want to hurt them you should not really have to. Sometimes they do not mean to hurt you, but sometimes they do it on purpose they have been hurt too. It is just an endless cycle… people who hurt other people. The best revenge is not violence or wanting to hurt that person, but it is to move on, be happy, be yourself and be successful. That leads me to my next and final quote by Alissa Violet who says “The best revenge is no revenge. Move on. Be happy. Find inner peace. Flourish.” In other words do not even bother with revenge because the best revenge is to simply move on and be happy with your life. You deserve that much instead of causing problems and dwelling on people who bring you down. You need to focus on yourself and not others and what they did to you. It is as simple as that. I hope that you all enjoy the following poem.

Sweet Revenge

You wanted her pretty and submissive,
But she was wild and followed her
Own rules. She lived for the danger,
But to you she is sweet and addictive.
It is too bad that she was truly never
Yours because you were only a traitor.

Little did you know that all she wanted
Was revenge and she was dressed for
The kill, never stopping until she gets
What her heart wants. She outsmarted
You in the games and in the endless war.
You think that she would have regrets,

But she has none. She stole your key
To your heart, never to be seen again
As she is driving down the road and out of
Town. Today you might feel freedom,
But tomorrow you will feel her in the rain
And when you least expect her deep love

To seep through the cracks or crevices
She left behind for someone else to
Replace. You may say it is sabotage,
What she did to you, but selflessness
Is what she gave everyone and you
Took advantage of the goodness lodged

In her heart. It may be cold or calculated,
But her revenge mode is activated.

Keep On Living & Moving Forward

Sometimes grief hits us like a tidal wave. Well… sometimes that is how it feels to me because sometimes it just hits us out of nowhere. This post is all about moving on from that grief. Sometimes all we can do is to just keep on living and moving forward without that person. It could be losing someone literally or figuratively. We have to come to realize that the world just keeps moving forward, which brings me to my first quote of this post. “The world moves on with or without you.” I know that sounds harsh, but it is the honest truth. Whether we realize it or not the world just keeps moving and turning. Sometimes we cannot stop for anything, including grief.

Sometimes it hurts because you thought that person was going to be around for the long haul, but something happened and all of a sudden you are left to move and walk forward without them. In some way you have to let go of them. That brings me to my next quote. “There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go.” That is the sad truth about life. It is not all perfect, but we still have to move forward with our lives. Sometimes that person is still right alongside you even if they are not physically here with you and sometimes it is okay to walk alone. They would want you to keep moving forward, even if it was without them.

I know that this post is all over the place, but I want to conclude my talking a little bit about my poem that goes along with the theme of this post. The below poem is inspired by the following quote (which turns out to be a part of a poem written by Pablo Neruda). He says, “My feet will want to walk to where you are sleeping but I shall go on living.” The line is very similar to a line from his poem “The Dead Woman.” I submitted this poem for a competition I took part in on DUP called “From Our Differences In Life And Death Is Born Love Eternal” and it won first place. There was a video (click here to view it) that inspired this poem too. I hope that you all enjoy it!

Steps Forward (Without You)

It is hard imaging you not being here
Right now, but for both of us I have to
Walk towards a better tomorrow, one
Foot in front of the other like you have

Always taught me. You always steer
Me, not in the direction where you
Were laid to rest, but where the sun
Still shines the brightest. Your valve

And battery decided to give up, but
I will keep living. I will keep thriving if
It means I can still remember you and
Your smiles. I never knew it was love

Until I saw your eyes and in this rut
You held me as the edges of the cliff
Became sharper. As we held hands
That night I knew it was the dove

Who delivered its message. “Keep
Moving forward darling. I know that
You are tired and you do not want
To move on without me, but I am still

Here in the breath you inhale deeply
Into your lungs. I am still in the flat
Curve of your laughter. Ghosts haunt
You, but I still keep you safe. The thrill

And yell escaping your mouth shows
That I am alongside you on this roller
Coaster ride. Do not lose those west
Coast vibes I fell in love with when we

First met or easy smiles as time slows
Down for our magical kiss. The solar
Eclipse got nothing on the stars winking
At us night after night. We were sinking

Our feet into the soft earth, getting lost
In the steady heartbeat of the world.”
We were programmed, but at what cost?
To feel nothing, but I felt it as you curled

Up against my chest looking at me like
I had all the answers and the cure. I did
Not know that it was your last strike
Of the game. Life came to a quick skid

And halt after your last breath, but I just
Knew that to honor your memory I had
To keep pushing on. You laid the trust
And happiness in me so I am not sad.

Leaving an Impact On This World

Hey there. One of the things I have been thinking about these days is what happens when we depart and leave this world (I am talking about when we die)? What type of impact would we have? And what legacy would we leave behind? I want to bring in a quote here by one of my heroes (for people who watch or know about baseball, you will definitely know who this guy is), Mr. Jackie Robinson. He says “A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives.” I am going to backtrack here for a moment and explain who Jackie Robinson is (for people who do not know who this guy is). Robinson was the first person of color who came to Major League Baseball (MLB) and broke the color barrier by coming to the Los Angeles Dodgers. Obviously, he had a huge impact, not only on baseball, but across the world as well.

That got me thinking about the impact I would have (and how I so much want to leave something behind so people would remember me). I am not trying to be selfish here, but I want people to remember me and I want to do something to also make the world a slightly better place. I think that is what we all need to do. We are living on this Earth, so we all need to do something, not only to take care of Earth as a planet, but to take care of at least some of the people as well (it makes me think of this nature writing class I took when I was an undergraduate).

I want to apply this to relationships we have with other people. I sometimes struggle with leaving an impact (especially a positive one) on people. Through this poem I reflect through relationships I have had (with friends and dating relationships as well). In this poem, I am specifically talking about it through this guy I was seeing and how I wish I could be more of that type of girl that he will never truly forget, no matter what he does. I want him to be thinking about me, even when I am no longer there. I have been on the receiving end of this where I could never truly forget him, but I am flipping the script in this poem. My goal in life is to make this world a better place and to make other people feel things (maybe things they have never felt before).

I found a quote to sum it all up. “Walk with the dreamers, the believers, the courageous, the cheerful, the planners, the doers, the successful people with their heads in the clouds and their feet on the ground. Let their spirit ignite a fire within you to leave this world better than when you found it.” It all goes hand in hand with my post about having this “inner fire.” So I strongly encourage my readers to do exactly that (even if you are not one of those types of people listed). I hope that this poem gives you all the encouragement and hope that you would need to do so much. We need everybody to contribute because it is all about the younger (as well as the older) generation. Enjoy this poem and post!! P.S. Just a fair warning that this following poem is a bit on the longer side.

Gone Girl

Keep her close to your heart
Because that is where she belongs.
You gave her a kick start
To living again. She is like that song
You will never truly forget.
There will be other girls trying to
Take her place, but you will regret
Leaving her behind. You will turn blue
Because she is not there to be
Your oxygen in order to breathe.
She just wants you to see
Your mistakes and you will seethe
Around in anger. You had that
One girl through everything
And then you squashed her flat.
She gave you that something
She had not given to anybody else.
You will miss everything about her.
Most of all, you will miss that easy ebb
You had together. Everything will blur
And begin to fade away from memory.
Although she is gone forever,
She leaves you on unstable and shaky
Ground. Everything tastes bitter
In your mouth. Only then will
You want her back to make everything whole
Again, but she has already had her fill
Of you. Her broken down soul
No longer belongs to you. You can try
To forget and move on with other girls
After her, but she will always fly
Back into your heart. They will not be pearls
Or diamonds like she was. You can never
Truly forget someone as magical
As she was. She will put you on a bender
That will make everything spiral
Out of control for you. She has put
You under her spell that still lingers behind.
She keeps you balancing on one foot
As you are kept in a bind
With her that she is breaking
Into broken pieces like her fractured
Heart. She is no longer aching
For your love. You already uttered
The unspeakable words to get her away
From you. Do you now see the truth?
Do you know how heavy that will weigh?
You extend a branch with that truce
She no longer wants. She is that bright
And smart girl you wish you still had,
But she is strong without you. The night
Is long gone just like she is. Do not be mad
If she disappears. She may be gone, but
She will be embedded into your spirit so you
Can never truly forget her. She is just a droplet
In the sky and a part of the grass that grew
From the ground up. She is a whisper and
A ghost away from being real, but
Is she really here? She is just another strand
Floating. She is no longer caught in the rut.
By the time you truly see her,
She will be a gone girl.

Update on Losing People

Hi everybody!!!! Here is that poem that I promised. I have already made a few tweaks to it (and I think it feels a little unfinished, but that is just my opinion). Here you go…

Losing You

Things were going as well
As they could go, but then you
Vanished like that. I did not want to dwell

On the past, but I had no clue
What you were doing to me.
You went ahead and threw

Me away like I meant nothing. We are free
From the burdens of it all and
You got what you wanted. Everything felt achy

And unreal. It was like every strand
Was coming undone. What we had
Slipped through our fingers like sand.

I did not know it would be this bad.
We both knew that this would take place.
I cannot sit here and be sad.

I will not forget your face
No matter how much I try to let it fade.
There is nothing between us but space.

I will try to be happy as I bade
You and everything we had goodbye.
I still would never trade

Those memories away. I have to try
To move on and be a better person.
I cannot continue to ask why

You went away. You had to run
Away for whatever reason.
You told me to never stop chasing the sun.

You have left me with a leaden
And heavy heart. The worry
That I was losing you left me broken

And hopeless. I am sorry
For whatever we did to each other.
I could not plea

With you anymore. The answer
Was not there. You were gone.
Everything became a blur.

You told me to move on
Without you and I am finally
Doing that. I got

That part down. I want you here badly
But you do not and will not
Hold that key.

Hanging On Vs. Letting Go

First of all, I want to talk about one of my new heroes, Mandy Hale (for a moment or two here). I highly recommend two of her books (both of which I have read). “I’ve Never Been to Vegas, but My Luggage Has: Mishaps and Miracles on the Road to Happily Ever After” and “The Single Woman’s Sassy Survival Guide: Letting Go and Moving On.” Both of those books are witty and humorous at times, but they also made me cry. I want to focus more on her book about letting go and moving on because that is the theme of this post.

I used to date this guy and he was my first boyfriend. For the longest time ever, I hung onto a poem I wrote to him, pretty much declaring my feelings for him. When we broke up I hung onto that piece of paper because he wrote something on it. Part of does not know why I hung onto it for all of those years. I finally got the courage to tear it up and throw it away in the trash. It was my own way of finally moving on. I have talked about getting hung up on past and how we cannot be stuck there forever. It is important to remember things from the past, but at the same time it is important to move forward with our lives.

Letting go and moving on are a couple of things that are hard to do no matter what. Some friendships and relationships come to an end at some point because they simply are not the same any more. Some of them just come to an end and we do not always know why. We have all been there, where something comes to an end and we do not know what to do. We can try to hang onto those memories or we can try to move on with our lives. We have memories and mementos from that relationship, whether they are pictures or stuffed animals or letters.

Hale has a section in her book about what to do with all of those items once you have ended that relationship. She suggests to put those things away and deal with them at some other time when the hurt goes away. It is true, we all get hurt. I am sorry, but it just happens that way. It may hurt now, but that cannot last forever. Hale talks about this whole idea of “out of sight and out of mind.” It sounds a lot better in theory than it does in real life, but that motto is worth trying out. That whole idea inspired this poem that I am sharing.

Forgetting

Clinging and holding onto

Something until your hands

Start to hurt is no good.

You need to let some of

The memories and

Moments go. Do not let them

Have power over you and

What you hang onto.

You may want to set them

On fire or delete them from

Your phone or return or

Give them back, but that is

Not the right thing to do.

You can delete those messages

All you want. You can tear your

Love notes all you want, but

Do not throw away things that

Were parts of your relationship.

Although they hurt to look at

They mean a lot to you.

Put them away in boxes that

Go into your closet or under

Your bed or into your head

And heart. They may be

Forgotten, but they will be there

When the hurt lessens and when

You are more ready to deal

With it all. Some things are

Hard to forget.