Tag: pain

Betrayal

Betrayal is one of the worst feelings in the world. Sometimes we think it comes from those we do not know or people who we think are our enemies, but the sad truth is that it could come from someone we are familiar with. That leads me into my first quote of this blog post. “The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.” In other words it comes from people we know and love, whether that is family, friends or our partners. I think that is why betrayal hurts a lot because we trust those people, but then they betray us. It could be intentional, but it could be unintentional as well. Either way it still hurts and causes a lot of pain, especially for those who feel betrayed. There is another sad truth to betrayal. It can be explained best by the following quote by Arthur Miller. He says, “Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.” I think he means that betrayal is the only truth that sticks and lingers. I know this feels like a sad post so I will try to keep it short I promise.

There could be a positive side to betrayal as well. You can learn so much from it and it is a reflection of who the other person is, not yourself. That leads me to my last and final quote of this blog post. Well… actually three final quotes. The first one is the following. “When someone betrays you, it is a reflection of their character, not yours.” I think that quote is pretty self explanatory, but I will try to explain it the best I can. Betrayal does not show who you are, but it shows who the betrayer really is and has nothing to do with you. Betrayal in other words is not completely your fault. So you should not have to feel guilty. The second to last quote by Sherrilyn Kenyon says, “Everyone suffers at least one bad betrayal in their lifetime. It’s what unites us. The trick is not to let it destroy your trust in others when that happens. Don’t let them take that away from you.” So in other words, do not let that one bad betrayal destroy what you hold so dear and give to others… trust, which is one if not the most important thing in this world.

In conclusion, betrayal is one of the worst things anyone deals with, but we just have to keep moving on no matter how hard that is. That leads me to my last quote of this blog post, I promise. Carmen Harra says, “Betrayal leaves us at a fork in the road… we can become stuck in a bad moment forever or we can put it behind us for good. We decide our path.” In other words, betrayal gives us two options. One is to let it linger and fester. The other option is to move on and leave it in the past. In all honesty, it is better to choose the second option of moving on and leaving betrayal in the past because it does no good to keep a hold on it for our present or future. I hope that everyone enjoys the following visual poem about one form of betrayal.

“Betrayal of Love” visual poem. Image by Jills from Pixabay.

Pain

First of all, I just want to apologize for being away for a while. I hope that you all did not miss me too much. We are all different so we all deal with things like pain, in different ways. That is a given. Pain comes in different forms like physical pain and emotional pain. We automatically associate pain with being hurt. They go hand in hand together. I am sorry to say this, but nobody can avoid pain forever. It is not so much about the pain, but how you deal with the pain. Marc Maron says it best. “You can’t avoid pain in life. It’s how you handle pain, that’s what defines you.” I deal with the pain by writing about it and talking about it. There are some times when I stay quiet and do not say anything about it. It is okay to speak up about it because like I said before, pain and being hurt go hand in hand.

As crazy as this sounds, the pain does eventually go away. It may not seem like it will, but over time it will and there will be some pain that may stick around. This quote by Philippos Syrigos says it the best. “Pain never really goes away; you just elevate and get used to it by growing stronger.” In other words, the pain never truly goes away, but you gets used to it and makes you feel stronger. It makes you feel tougher and maybe closer to being indestructible. Not quite indestructible all the way, but it makes you feel like you can handle anything once you handle and deal with the pain. You learn so much through the pain. One of my favorite quotes by Alicia Taylor says it best. “Sometimes you must to hurt in order to know, fall in order to grow, lose in order to gain, because life’s greatest lessons are learned through pain.” And she is so right. Things in life feel painful and hurt a lot, but you have to go through all of the pain to learn those lessons.

Like I said before, you should know at least how to deal with the pain. Some people know how to, but some people do not and that is okay. You eventually learn over time. You just sometimes have to simply deal with it. James Jones said it best. “He knew how to handle pain. You had to lie down with pain, not draw back away from it. You let yourself sort of move around the outside edge of pain like with cold water until you finally got up your nerve to take yourself in hand. Then you took a deep breath and dove in and let yourself sink down it clear to the bottom. And after you had been down inside pain a while you found that like with cold water it was not nearly as cold as you had thought it was when your muscles were cringing themselves away from the outside edge of it as you moved around it trying to get up your nerve. He knew pain.” In other words, it is acknowledging and knowing pain. Sometimes it may not seem as bad as it looks or feels. One of the best feelings is when the pain stops. For a lot of people, it may not, but for some it may stop all the way. It is like seeing again for the first time or like a new dawn or day or however you want to look at it. It feels so liberating. Here is to all of my readers, may you find a way to deal with the pain.

I can go on and on about pain. I could tell you why it comes and how to deal with it, but everyone is different in that, so why bother. All I can do is to make some final pieces of advice… Whatever you do, do not not ignore it because if you ignore it, pain will fester and may turn into something even worse. We can end up hurting ourselves or worse, unintentionally hurting others. Dean Kootz, I think says it the best way. “Pain can be endured and defeated only if it is embraced. Denied or feared, it grows.” So in other words, we should never ignore the pain. I am not here to say you should stay with it for long, but everyone is different. There are so many amazing quotes out there about pain and how to deal or cope with it. So I will stop there. Here is a poem to make everyone realize that there is almost always something good after the pain and that although it hurts now, it will go away after some time. I just want to make one final point which is although you are dealing with pain now, you should never give someone else pain on purpose. I just wanted to point that out. Cheers!!

When The Pain Stops

The tears stopped coming. For once it felt
Like both my heart and me could breathe
Again after all of the pain. I have dealt
With the devil, but no longer. I unsheathe
The anger and frustration. It is like I can
Finally see every color and sunrise again.
There is a change to every person and plan
I once had. I broke free from every chain
That bounded and tethered me to that
Bone splintering heartache. Everything
That used to make me want to take a bat
And smash it all into pieces that cling
To my skin does not hold that power
Over me anymore. I do not hide in
The shadows and darkness or cower
In corners anymore. I smile and grin
Like I have never been hurt before.
I stand and walk through that door.